Reviews For Moons of Deceit
Reviewer: rambkowalczyk
Date: 12/19/06 20:05
Chapter: Ineffable Deceit

Good chapter, though I am still wondering If Lupin will have his job in the morning.

Although told from the point of view of the little girl, the story gives an interesting insight to the parents. Certainly they don't seem to approve of Voldemort's methods, but they are wrapped up in their politeness that they don't seem to see people as they are.

Author's Response: Dear R, You have pretty well hit it off. The MacDougals are ultra-polite and not at all criminal, but they take an ostrich approach to life. Bad people wouldn't come near them, which may explain why they don't suspect Remus earlier than they do. You'll have to wait until chapter 17 to find out about Remus's "next morning"! Thanks for your input, GhV

Reviewer: rambkowalczyk
Date: 12/19/06 19:48
Chapter: Hiding from Hunter's Moon

excellant chapter, although I did have to look up a couple of words. Architrave, chesterfield, although not common words in Connecticut, help give this story a sense of place.

Author's Response: Dear R, You do work hard! I'm afraid I skip over words that I don't understand and just hope the meaning will become clear. I suppose you don't have many CHESTERFIELDS in Connecticut, but I'm surprised you don't have ARCHITRAVES. Thanks for reviewing, GhV

Reviewer: rambkowalczyk
Date: 12/19/06 17:57
Chapter: Truth under a Waxing Moon

Good begining, I was never aware that there was a regional dialect that used modal verbs in the continuous tense. Learn new things every day :).

Author's Response: Dear Rambkowalczyk, See, I'm learning to spell it! Thank you for venturing into a very different genre of story from "Corner", and I hope you have fun here. Regards, GhV

Reviewer: Valentinia
Date: 12/19/06 0:23
Chapter: Sunrise after Hunter's Moon

What a cliffhanger, yet oddly great ending! I'm glad Remus realizes that he's not alone and isn't going to give up! This was, once again, a great chapter! Remus' desperation and his fantasies of Ariadne being an angel are understandable and the reader can easily emapthize with him! This has really been a great story! Remus was characterized in a perfectly IC yet original manner, and Ariadne was everything you could wish from an OC and more! She was far from perfect, but realistically flawed and gifted! I really, really liked this story! I'm so glad there's a sequel!

Author's Response: Dear V, Not everyone liked the ending, so I'm glad you did. And thank you so much for liking Ariadne! There are actually three sequels, although there are obvious reasons why Part II has had the most popular appeal. Thank you for being such a consistent and careful reviewer throughout, GhV

Reviewer: Valentinia
Date: 12/19/06 0:14
Chapter: Moon after Endless Moon

How can this be the second to last chapter...? I don't want it to end!
But this was a good chapter. I really like how Ariadne's "gift" to read people is developing and becoming more obvious. Snape is wonderfully IC (I'm not sure if I've mentioned it before...) as is Remus, and all other canon characters really. I like how he sent her the model. Very considerate. Really shows the real Remus!
Great chapter!

Author's Response: Dear V, It is so easy to write Snape. I just appeal to my own inner Severus, with shameful facility. And of course Remus would send a present to the first person in months to treat him kindly. He has nothing else to do, after all. It's so nice of you not to want the story to end, but we are racing to the logical conclusion. GhV

Reviewer: Valentinia
Date: 12/18/06 23:57
Chapter: Deceits Laid Bare

Poor Remus. Life as a werewolf can't be easy, I can understand that he wishes he were back at school!
As usual, this was a great chapter! The simple descriptions of Hogsmeade and of Remus' "morning after" were wonderful, and well-written, and his feelings were made painfully obvious. A really good chapter! I'm not sure how you're going to make this story romantic in the next two chapters, though, but I'm sure you'll manage somehow!
Also, I loved the dream!

Author's Response: Dear V, The sad truth is that Remus is to look back on his schooldays as among the happiest of his life. Once he becomes old enough to care about his responsibilities, he is unable to forget that he is a danger to society, so a certain carefree hedonism has been lost forever. Some of the pleasures of maturity still await him; however, don't look too hard for romance. Thanks for supporting my writing, GhV

Reviewer: Valentinia
Date: 12/18/06 23:44
Chapter: Flying without the Moon

And we're caught up! I can't wait to find out what happens next! I really liked this chapter! It's so good how Remus never suspects Peter - I hate it when he does, but without there being any reason. Just some ridiculous intuition...
Also, Remus having to relive his memories was very sad, but realistic. It makes sense how he would be plagued by sadness and despair and guilt! Poor guy!
As usual, this chapter was wonderfully written - the reader could really feel Remus' pain!

Author's Response: Dear V, I don't plan to give Remus twelve years of unrelenting drear, because that would be out of character, but I do think there were some good reasons why he felt he was an outcast for "almost the whole" of his adult life. This is the nadir; I've tried to inject some hope into the last few chapters. Thank you for your input, GhV

Reviewer: Valentinia
Date: 12/18/06 23:28
Chapter: Deceived on Every Side

Ooh, we've caught up to the present, almost! This chapter seemed almost cheery in comparison to the past ones. But not in a bad way! It was well-written, and the Death Eaters' children's attempt to better the relationship was so pitifully pathetic, and yet the reader could feel sorry for them. After all, in a sense they really were breainwashed, if not by the Imperius.
Great chapter! I'm afraid the next will be rather more depressing, though... :D

Author's Response: Dear V, Yes, some good times are ahead for Ariadne and her friends. I did end up feeling rather sorry for the Slytherins; the eventual fates of Letitia, Regelinda and Hazel were all tracked in far more detail than I originally intended. You already know what happens to Hestia, of course, and I also promise you a happy outcome for Sarah. Thanks for reviewing, GhV

Reviewer: Valentinia
Date: 12/18/06 23:05
Chapter: Moons under the Order

Wow. I love how everyone trusts Peter - why wouldn't they, after all? - when it's been him all along! Poor Remus, too! I like how so many order members are mentioned. It really gives the story a "place" in the canon universe - and, realistically, of course, it could be exactly what happened in Remus' past in canon! I really liked this chapter, as a whole, anyway!
And, as usual, congrats to Mary Ellis and everyone else who helped/inspired this story in any way! This is really a great story!

Author's Response: Dear Valentinia, Thank you so much! One day I'll write a Sirius/Dorcas story, but for now you'll have to settle for Sirius/Motorbike. Peter is a rat, but it isn't going to become much worse before it starts becoming better... Regards, GhV

Reviewer: Valentinia
Date: 12/18/06 21:20
Chapter: Double Deceit

Too bad they didn't hear the real prophesies! I'm sure those would have lifted their spirtis in their hope and their truthfulness!!
Anyway, great chapter! You really show what a terrible regime Voldemort had, with the Fenwicks, especially! But you still keep the reader empathizing with Adriane, even though she really has it pretty good (no, she doesn't, not with having lost two close friends, but considering people like Joe Fenwick...) Speaking of which, it's absolutely awful that they let that quote of the auror be posted in a newspaper! But that little detail is eerily realistic. Great chapter!
The inclusion of Tralawney was fun, too. It sort of adds a bit of bittersweet comic relief.


Author's Response: Dear V, It was certainly time for some comedy, wasn't it? Trelawney is great for a laugh. With Joe, I wanted to show that not all of Voldy's victims ended up dead. Thanks for keeping up the reviews, GhV

Reviewer: Valentinia
Date: 12/18/06 20:52
Chapter: Resigned under a Crescent Moon

The seeds of suspicion have been sown! Poor Remus! I like how you include the fact that they suspected him, and how it seems natural from Remus' point of view! I really like it! Also, the reference to the McKinnons is great for people like me who are picky about times, but too lazy to scroll back to the top of the page to check the date! Wonderful chapter!
And yet again, Mary Ellis, it seems you have helped significantly in the writing of thsi chapter, so good job and bravo! I don't know what you helped with specifically, but I enjoyed the whole chapter, so rest assured that I appreciate your contribution!
I'm off to read the next chapter!

Author's Response: Thanks, Valentinia! There had to be SOME reason why they suspected Remus, didn't there? Mary contributed the idea that Remus should at least toy with the idea of exploiting his condition. They are at war, and it must have been a real temptation. See you in the next, GhV

Reviewer: Valentinia
Date: 12/18/06 20:34
Chapter: Deceit around the Crystal Orb

No! I can't believe I didn't see it coming... "The Bones and the McKinnons!" And Veleta, too! The poor girls who are left behind. I do like your inclusion of canon characters and events (I may have already mentioned this...) though, it sort of ties them to the book, but you also use OCs which stops it from being too cliché! Anyway, this was a great chapter! The ending was really wonderful, as they "try to fill the space". Tragic. But wonderfully written!

Author's Response: Dear Valentinia, It's easy to miss the canon minors, isn't it? But it's clear in OotP: "Marlene McKinnon... they got her whole family." I give due reminder now that Hestia's current surname is Dearborn. There will be more about the circumstances of Veleta's demise in the sequel. Thanks for keeping up the reviews, GhV

Reviewer: Valentinia
Date: 12/18/06 20:16
Chapter: Examined under Rose Moon

Well, that's a twist! The vampire, I mean...
Anyway, before I review I wanted to apologize for all that double-posting. I was reading through past reviews and realized that I had double-posted quite a lot. I assure you, it was an accident... Oh and speaking of it, cool I didn't know that in Scottland they used that grammatical form more, but obviously it's fine and normal that you use it so often then, so just ignore my earlier comment!
Okay, onto reviewing... I like Remus "baptism of blood" and how he realizes he can't empathize with everyone, even if they are sort of like him. As usual, this chapter was great! I like how Voldemort's terror really shines through, as does Remus's feelings of inadequecy and guilt at recieving pay, and being a werewolf in general!

Author's Response: Dear Valentinia, Thanks for another great review. Isn't it funny how we don't feel sorry for the vampires? Although, of course, you met a reasonably sympathetic one in chapter 9, and she will in fact return to the story in the far future. I'm afraid Remus will never deal with his feelings of inadequacy - and Voldemort is enough to make anyone feel inadequate! Most people can accept that, but Remus is an Arian at heart, and he pays the Arian price. Thank you for all your support, GhV

Reviewer: madelynn
Date: 12/17/06 2:34
Chapter: Sunrise after Hunter's Moon

this is really fabulus. it's really nice to read, and you write it good. ctually, i read it in one sitting, which is something i do not often do, at least not when it involves so many chapters. you're a really good writer, keep up the good work! :D

Author's Response: Dear madelynn, Congratulations on reading in one sitting. I am so proud to have kept you busy! And thank you for taking the time to tell me so. There are sequels in the pipeline, so I hope to see you then. Regards, GhV

Reviewer: patient wanderer
Date: 12/16/06 18:43
Chapter: Flying without the Moon

Well, I just love this story, thought I'd review another chapter, just 'cause. Lol, I"m hoping for more of that sequel soon...

Author's Response: Dear PW, Thanks for the "just because"! I am so happy that you love my story. I shall try to update with a new chapter every three days, but there are no guarantees over the Christmas season. Best wishes, GhV

Reviewer: Valentinia
Date: 12/16/06 18:00
Chapter: Death Eaters Undeceiving

Noo! They've found out about Veleta! The suspense is killing me... So I'll keep this review short. This was a really great chapter, and that I'm really starting to actively dislike Ariadne's parents! And those Slytherins!!

Author's Response: Yes, Valentinia, they have found out. And when you find out what they do to her, you may prefer the state of suspense. Ariadne's parents no heroes, but they are definitely better than the Slytherins. Perhaps that's why they see no need to improve themselves! Thanks for reviewing, GhV

Reviewer: Valentinia
Date: 12/16/06 17:44
Chapter: Defying the Moon's Demand

Yet another good chapter! I still love your writing skills and your characterization! There is one thing I disagree on, though, at that is your thought (or maybe I'm just seeing this and you didn't intend it...) that Remus was only friends with Sirius and James and Peter because he had no one else. I think that, while he did feel more guilty about all the bad things they did then they themselves, there was still a real friendship between the four boys and that Remus did love his friends. But anyway...
still a good chapter! Can't wait to read the next!

Author's Response: Dear V, You're not the first person to whom I've given this impression, so perhaps I could tighten the writing. I agree absolutely that Remus genuinely liked all his friends. The feeling that he didn't respect Sirius was a temporary one, connected only with The Prank. You have to admit that such an episode would try the patience of any person who had morals! The Sorting Hat placed the boys in Gryffindor because they were all made for each other. Even Peter had the potential, if only he had chosen to take advantage of it, and (in this version of the universe) Owen could have been a genuine fifth Marauder if he had lived. As to Remus's guilt, I have told what I would like to be believe is the true version in chapter 10. But you cannot expect a very satisfactory resolution to the Remus/Guilt issue, because Remus is an Arian heretic - and there lies the intrapsychic drama. Thanks for keeping with the story, GhV

Reviewer: Valentinia
Date: 12/16/06 17:30
Chapter: Eschewing Deceit

Yet another wonderful chapter! I hope you don't mind my reviews all being along the same lines, but really, all of your chapters are great! I love the reference to "seven years ago" - now I'm completely sure I got the ages right! :D
Anyway, this was really a great chapter, I like how you reveal so much about all the characters, without making it seem like the information is dumped on the reader for no reason! The interwoven references to Voldemort are wonderful!
Also, Mary Ellis, you seem to deserve some credit, so I'll just take Grace has Victory's word for it, and assume that you were vital in the making of this masterpiece! So, great job to you, too!

Author's Response: Congratulations, Valentinia! You are the first reader to have recognised the identity of the great Potions student "seven years ago". Thanks for being a faithful reviewer; I have forwarded a copy of this one to Mary. Regards, GhV

Reviewer: Valentinia
Date: 12/16/06 17:13
Chapter: Barricaded against the Moon

Poor Owen! Wow... almost all of my reviews start with poor.... but your story is tragic and wonderful at the same time, so see it as a compliment!
I was wondering what would happen to him, as he was never mentioned in the books...
This was a powerful chapter, it's just awful how terrible Voldemort is, but it's great how his terror is woven into your story so... gracefully, I suppose is the word.
The alternating between Remus's and Ariadne's past is great, too! Really shows how different and yet similar the two personalities and lives were/are!
Great, great chapter!

Author's Response: Dear Valentinia, Owen was just a Lamb to the slaughter. Of course Voldy was going to catch him sooner rather than later. I'm glad you've noticed on the mirroring between Remus's childhood and Ariadne's. I'm aware that this whole story is somewhat depressing for both of them (war is like that), but don't feel too sorry for them... they don't waste time feeling sorry for themselves. Thanks for reviewing, GhV

Reviewer: Valentinia
Date: 12/16/06 16:55
Chapter: Deceit at the Wedding

I love that, like all pureblood families they had a house they expected her to be in, but it was Hufflepuff, not Slytherin! Such a small detail, but such a clever twist!
I also like all the new characters, as well as seeing a few canon characters (like Kinglsey!) I wonder when we'll get back to the present, but I really like the way you've written this backstory of both Remus and Ariadne! Great chapter!
By the way, I think I've figured it out! Ariadne is 16 in the story and Reums is 23, right? :D *yeah... I'm obsessive...*
I hope these reviews don't count as spam, cause I'm really enjoying reading this story and I'd feel really guilty if I didn't give you a review for each brilliant chapter!

Author's Response: Dear V, No, DEFINITELY not spam, because you think of something new to say in each review. I think the mods' notice concerned people who wrote things that had nothing to do with the story, i.e. there was no evidence they had even read it. I had bad spam last year, with about 50 advertisements from real estate agents, pharmacists and gambling centres. We don't know how these people invaded the Harry Potter archives, but it's a horrible abuse of the system. I think several of the old families were associated with particular houses - I suspect the Brocklehursts always were in Raveclaw, while the Cornfoots are exclusive to Hufflepuff. Among Ariadne's classmates there is one other canon character (in addition to Kingsley) and one who might loosely be considered canon. You will also see four canon adults who serve (brief!) time as DADA teachers. Thanks for your input, GHV

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