Reviews For Amortentia
Reviewer: Sarakime
Date: 08/17/06 21:46
Chapter: Chapter One

Nice chapter! I wouldn't have ever thought of the effects wearing off in the morning. Nice semi-cliffe too. Pretty soon, maybe he won't need the potion at all...

Just a question, does Tom know how to speak Romanian? Is that why he thinks it's odd that the language switched?

Either way, great writing. I really like how she feels guilty towards giving him the potion. It makes her character develoup more, since she has guilt in her system.


Author's Response: No. Tom doesn't speak Romanian, which is why he thought it was odd that they should speak English in Romania. I hope that makes sense. Thanks for the review!

Reviewer: Sarakime
Date: 08/17/06 21:34
Chapter: Prologue

I'm loving this so far. It really casts a light on the lengths of which Merope would go to, to get Tom. Love potion! Very clever!

Very beautiful writing. I love the way you portray Tom's thoughts before the potion, and after the potion. Like, the effects really show, and it helps us see she slipped something in the drink.

Great work!

Author's Response: Thanks, Grace. I'm glad you're liking it.

Reviewer: StaceyLC
Date: 08/15/06 13:56
Chapter: Epilogue ~ Birth of a Legend

Sorry, I put this in Prologue before, when it was meant to go here:

Very interesting story about what might have happened. Your writing was good; I only noticed a few errors, and Merope's sudden bursts of anger aren't really explained, but I guess you could just chalk that up to her Gaunt blood.

One thing, though: I may be wrong, perhaps in England they didn't have coffee in that time, but I'm pretty sure Tom would have known what it was.

Author's Response: Thank for the review!

Reviewer: StaceyLC
Date: 08/15/06 13:53
Chapter: Prologue

Very interesting story about what might have happened. Your writing was good; I only noticed a few errors, and Merope's sudden bursts of anger aren't really explained, but I guess you could just chalk that up to her Gaunt blood.

One thing, though: I may be wrong, perhaps in England they didn't have coffee in that time, but I'm pretty sure Tom would have known what it was.

Author's Response: Yes, *sigh*, the coffee thing has been touched upon. I momentarily forgot then that Tom was a Muggle and would know about that. Sorry...

Reviewer: Blossomlily
Date: 08/14/06 23:32
Chapter: Chapter Two

Oh, I love this chapter. Again, it gives us a subtle insight into both their characters, and you know I love seeing that. *grin*.

First, I liked Merope's jealousy. Although the woman Sara, hadn't been trying to flirt with Tom, she wanted to shield him from her. I think it's typical of her.

Second, I liked the sweet, instinctive nature the potion had given to Tom. Gosh, and that lie about the coffee! lol. I must say I liked how he wanted to be romantic, though I knew it wasn't natural, and it's just... so sweet and childlike. Again, I love how you drop clever hints without bluntly telling the reader what's going on.

And the ending!! I can't stop going on about it. You know I like twists, and this was the best. I'm sorry, but it *was* a bit funny to me. How the poor fellow wanted to surprise her at midnight , but because of the lack of potion, forgot all about it. *sigh*

Just one thing to nit-pick, here, and that's just probably a typo:She removed herself from Tom’s embraced, but grabbed...

Great work!

Author's Response: Whoops, stupid typo! Thanks for the great reveiw, and I hope you enjoy the rest! There are a lot of cut-off endings, as well as twists and turns in this story so I think you'll like it.

Reviewer: Blossomlily
Date: 08/14/06 23:19
Chapter: Chapter One

Goodness, the first part of the chapter made me laugh! lol, good work in injecting small doses of subtle humour in what would be an otherwise tense atmosphere. I think you've described the effects of the Love Potion very well in this chapter.

Hm... it makes sense that the potion should wear off in the morning; I liked how you brought in a good detail while describing the effects. As I said before, I really enjoy the logic you bring in while writing the story.

As always, your grammar is perfect. *grins* Also, I liked the ending of this chapter, like the previous one. You don't tell us things directly, but make us figure them out on our own. Loved it! :)

Author's Response: I work hard on my grammar. :) And I'm glad you liked the ending; that's always my favourite part of a story to write. Thanks for the review!

Reviewer: Blossomlily
Date: 08/14/06 23:08
Chapter: Prologue

Good beginning! Your portrayal of Merope clears away the cloud of misconception some have (Ok, I have) that she is meek and quiet and frightened like a little mouse. It's quite plain in your fic that those traits are only present when her father is around. Well done on warding away that misconception *slaps forehead*

I like the way Tom Sr. tries to avoid her at first, and the instant reversal of behaviour after drinking the potion was quite fun to read. *grin*

I liked how Merope was still unsure of whether Tom would say 'I do' in the end. It sort of fits her character. And the last line gives a sort of final tone to the prologue, as though everything had now become permanent, and nothing could be done to prevent Voldemort from happening. Well done!

Author's Response: Thanks! I wanted that ending to be somewhat powerful, and I'm glad it worked for you. Thanks again!

Reviewer: solemnlyswear_x
Date: 08/14/06 22:46
Chapter: Epilogue ~ Birth of a Legend

Oh, no. I thought I had another chapter to read, but this was the end. Although I started reviewing this story because you won the EoM Helpful User (congrats, by the way!), you had me hooked by the end of the prologue. I absolutely loved this fic, and it’s introduced me to the wonderful world of Tom/Merope. Yay!

Right, on to the epilogue. (Nice title, very fitting.)

It was absolutely a great ending! It was interesting that Merope saw Tom and Sara again, and understandable that she wanted her feast. You did a good job tying in what we know happened in canon, and what might have happened that night. I agree very much with Kumy, the ending line was the perfect way to end this.

Well, great job on this story! I really, really enjoyed reading it! :]

Author's Response: Why thank you, I enjoyed writing it. And although I know you started reading this because of the EoM, it's nice to hear that you liked it nonetheless. Thanks for the wonderful reviews!

Reviewer: solemnlyswear_x
Date: 08/14/06 22:35
Chapter: Prologue

What a sad chapter. (Good though!)

Merope’s feelings and thoughts in this were so understandable. It’s too bad that she broke her wand, and I wonder how much she’ll regret that later…
And, it was a nice detail that you added about how she could no longer understand Romanian. It added to that fact that her dream world is ending fast.

My favorite part of this chapter was the last paragraph.
“She knew they would either find their way to the heart of a new friend, or they would die in the same place that they lived: at home.”
That is such a powerful sentence, and has so much meaning behind it.

I’m starting to get sad, only a few more chapters left for me to read. I really liked this story. :]

Author's Response: Aww, thank you. I always hated coming to the end of my HP books, too. And I'm glad you liked that last line; it seemed many people did. Thanks again!

Reviewer: solemnlyswear_x
Date: 08/14/06 22:18
Chapter: Chapter Four

This is definitely my favorite chapter so far! I think that Tom’s reaction to finding out that Merope’s pregnant was very in character. The rage, the leaving, the everything. I especially liked the last line in your fic, even though it was pretty simple. I personally thought it was very powerful, and left the reader feeling sorry for Merope, even though it was her fault that all of this happened in the first place.

“Maybe Merope had always had that fire burning inside her--she just never let it ignite.”

This is another one of my favorite lines, as I think it really sums up Merope. We see her in HBP as a very timid, weak girl, but here you show that she is, for lack of a better word, “fiery.” I think one of the great things about this story is that you show different sides of Merope’s personality: paranoia, anger, and sadness. Well, once again- great job! :]

Author's Response: Thanks, I've always thought the fic got better as it went on as well. ANd I'm glad that you pointed those emotions out, because I always thought of Merope as a character who was extremely emotionsl and always on the edge. Thanks for the review!

Reviewer: solemnlyswear_x
Date: 08/14/06 18:00
Chapter: Chapter Three

Dun, dun, dun! Merope’s pregnant. I wonder how Tom’s going to deal with this one.

This chapter is another awesome one! This story really has me hooked. Tom and Merope are very interesting to read about, as you do a wonderful job writing them. It makes sense that Merope would be under the illusion that Tom actually loves her, and that’s very sad. It didn’t surprise me that she left out the portion of Amortentia.

Like always, you wrote Merope’s emotions wonderfully, and I really enjoyed this chapter! :]

Author's Response: Thank you! I love Merope and Tom as well-- they're my favourite pairing.

Reviewer: solemnlyswear_x
Date: 08/14/06 17:45
Chapter: Chapter Two

Another great chapter! I love how you included a bit of Romanian culture. It was something that I found very interesting to read, and something that I knew absolutely nothing about. I really think that it added a lot to this chapter!

Once again, I loved Merope’s characterization, especially when she got angry at Sara. It makes sense for her to be jealous when Tom’s around other girls. I also liked the detail you wrote with, including things like the flowers outside of the hotel, and things of the sort.

I’m excited to go read the next chapter! I wonder what happens when Tom finds out he didn’t make that amulet… :]


Author's Response: I'm glad you're excited to read the next chapter. That's what I like to hear...(and it makes me happy to hear all you readers refurring to Sara by her first name almost as if she was cannon. Yay.)

Reviewer: kumydabookworm
Date: 08/14/06 12:06
Chapter: Epilogue ~ Birth of a Legend

The last line took my breath away. I really enjoyed the encounter with Tom, but I really expect more bitterness or regret from Merope. You don't really show her reaction when she sees him. Even a line like "It had been nearly a year, and now the only thing she loved was her child, growing within her. Seeing Tom again didn't hurt her anymore," would have been satisfactory.

I also really liked that you, again, gave Tom some humanity, some good...that's really the strongest asset of this story - characterization.

Absolutely fabulous story. Great work, CL!!!

Kumy

Author's Response: Thank you so much for all your kind reviews. And, actually, your opinion here is a good one. I'll think about it. Thanks again!

Reviewer: kumydabookworm
Date: 08/14/06 12:03
Chapter: Chapter Five

Wow. My God. I love Merope's inner reflections in this chapter. She is just...not angry, and that's beautiful. It nearly made me cry.

I loved her observations of water. The childish innocence of them ("stick together like a family") tugs at the heartstrings.

She knows she is wrong, so she cannot be angry. She can simply grieve.

Wow. Oh...the snowdrops reference was the perfect ending. It sort of symbolizes their relationship.

-sighs- This is the best chapter yet of this story. Wonderful work.

Kumy

Author's Response: Aww, thank you. I sort of wanted to make the reader cry; it's one of my greatest wants when writing. I'm glad you liked it.

Reviewer: kumydabookworm
Date: 08/14/06 12:01
Chapter: Chapter Four

Oh, I see. The Amortentia was still in his body a little bit and that's why the only effect was increased cruelty. -lightbulb flashes on-

Okay. I really liked the way he left her. That sounds horrible, doesn't it? But, honestly, it perfectly captures the behavior of someone in a relationship where they've been lied to.

I love how you show Tom as a bad person, and yet show enough humanity, enough connection to the readers that we can't really hate him.

Great work! It keeps getting better and better...

Kumy

Author's Response: Why thank you. This story sort of shows how my writing skills got better as well, because I was learning as I was writing this. I'm glad you enjoyed reading it!

Reviewer: kumydabookworm
Date: 08/14/06 11:58
Chapter: Chapter Three

Eek. I don't like the non-Amortentia Tom. He's a jerk! I think that you incorporated the signs of pregnancy very accurately, but I think that maybe you should have waited a few days in the storyline before she tested herself. Women don't tend to jump to that conclusion immediately.

Merope's hope that he will change was perfect. I rather think that he would be confused as to who she was when he stopped taking the love potion, but I like your interpretation - that he simply becomes cruel - better.

Great chapter!

Kumy

Author's Response: I don't like that Tom much, either. Haha. And, yes, I know I pulled the pregnancy thing on a bit too fast, but when I was writing it I wanted it all to fit into one chapter. Thanks for the review!

Reviewer: kumydabookworm
Date: 08/14/06 11:55
Chapter: Chapter Two

Hmm...I guess Merope is lucky that he didn't wake up fully, because the Amortentia probably wasn't taking effect at this point. :o

Again, I like your portrayal of the couple. Tom is ridiculously romantic due to the potion, and Merope simply wants to be with him. How tragic.

Anyway, on to the next chapter! I'm intrigued...as I have been throughout this story!

Kumy

Author's Response: I'm glad to have intrigued you. And, yes, I was trying to make it ridiculously romanitc almost to the point of being cheese-- but not quite. Thanks for the review!

Reviewer: kumydabookworm
Date: 08/14/06 11:53
Chapter: Chapter One

Ooh, that's an interesting effect. I love how you need less and less...that probably makes Merope hope that someday, Tom won't need it at all! Very nice ending, because it made me want to read the next chapter!!!

Beyond that, I liked how you displayed the change Amortentia caused and Merope's guilt.

Nice work. :)

Kumy

Author's Response: Thanks for the review, and, actually I was trying to go for that feel with how much of the potion he had to drink.

Reviewer: kumydabookworm
Date: 08/14/06 11:50
Chapter: Prologue

Wow. I love the description of the effects of Amortentia. It's wonderful and really unique that you showed the thought process. I would have loved to see a bit more on this, too, because I'm so interested. What did Tom smell? What did he feel? We know what he thought, but there's so much more...-is very curious about Amortentia suddenly-

This chapter was very intriguing. Nice job!

Kumy

Author's Response: This was simply a prologue and I didn't want to go into much detail. But I'm glad you liked it!

Reviewer: hogwartsduchess
Date: 08/14/06 10:24
Chapter: Epilogue ~ Birth of a Legend

Firstly, that last paragraph gave me chills. Incredibly well done! The end was utterly brilliant. I find it interesting that Sara ran off with Tom and that he gave her money. I would have suspected that he would want nothing to do with her after the Amortentia wore off, but perhaps, she was wrong. Perhaps one tiny drop stayed in his system for the rest of his life - allowing the cold, cruel man that tiny bit of gentlemanly behaviour. Excellently done.

Author's Response: Wow, thank you. I'm glad it effected you so much. And, actually, it was Sara's idea to give Merope the money. One of my other fics, "Born on the Streets" is written from Sara's POV and you understand more of why she gave the money to Merope.

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