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Reviews For Amortentia

Name: self named harry potter freak (Signed) · Date: 08/23/06 18:58 · For: Chapter One
Very nice. I was interested to learn that Tom beats on his wife without the potion in the mornings. For some reason I always pictured him as a nice guy. He came across to me as someone who would never do that, but I think I like this version better. Now we know where Voldemort gets it from.

Author's Response: Yes, I thought he would be angry, too, seeing as how Voldemort ended up. But I also thought that after all the time of not having control over himself he would most likely feel angry.

Name: self named harry potter freak (Signed) · Date: 08/23/06 18:40 · For: Prologue
I love the start to this fic. I found Tom's reaction to Merope's invitation interesting, yet fitting. I have never given the topic much thought, but Tom's unwillingness to enter the house is very nice and in character for him. You're fleshing out a character that we know almost nothing about, and you're doing it brilliantly!

Author's Response: Thanks. I love working with this pairing because we don't know much about them so you don't have to worry about "following canon", but they're still part of the hp world. Thanks for the review!

Name: jeudi (Signed) · Date: 08/23/06 9:49 · For: Chapter One
I like how it is kind of a blend of romance, angst, and mystery; it keeps the intrigue level high. The last few paragraphs were Tom hadn't yet had the potion were so sad because you feel for Tom when he is enslaved, but also for Merope. How Tom treated her there was probably mild compared to the way her father and brother probably behaved. The way you wrote it definitely inspired empathy.

Author's Response: Aww, thanks. I'm glad you felt the emotions.

Name: POTCgirl1337 (Signed) · Date: 08/22/06 14:15 · For: Chapter Four
ARG!! That evil little heart breaker! I hate him, I blam it all on HIM! Grr.... I love how you show the pain that Merope is feeling and the obvious hatred Tom feels towards her. The sneaky part at the end is totally slytherin! I almost feel sorry for her, almost but not quite! She's to manipulating. Like her son!

Author's Response: Yes, I want you to feel badly for both the characters and not quite know who's side to chose. Thanks for the review!

Name: POTCgirl1337 (Signed) · Date: 08/22/06 13:54 · For: Chapter Two
Is that a real holiday? *scans other reviews* Wow, it is! It's a mark of a great FanFic writter when the incorperate real life events into their stories. You can then tell that they actually put alot of effort into their writting, instead of creating an event. It's really sweet that he is making an amulet for Merope, but deffinetly not something Voldypoo would do, so.... some traits came from being raised at an orphanage eh?

Author's Response: Yes, Voldemort is a lot like his father but they both have certail personality traits that are different. Think of you are your parents. Thanks for the review!

Name: POTCgirl1337 (Signed) · Date: 08/22/06 13:47 · For: Chapter Three
Ohh!! Litltle Tomy months away from birth! DUN DUN DUN! I thought that the way you worked the tension into the part about not adding the love potion was beautiful! *whips tear away* The way you write it, Tom jr. obvisouly gets most of himslef from his dad. I don't think Volders would ever feel guilty for doing something to a Death Eater like Merope feels bad about the Love Potion. The ending is also really great, how you just leave us hanging with the reality changing two words.

Author's Response: Thanks. I really do want people to get the perception that Voldemort is mroe like his parents then he thinks. I'm glad that you understood that. Thanks for the review!

Name: jeudi (Signed) · Date: 08/22/06 13:46 · For: Prologue
Yet another story that shows how well you can characterize Merope Gaunt. I absolutely love the way you characterize Tom post-potion, with his mind reeling and repeating. However, I think how you characterized him towards the beginning was a little too witty. I agree that he was probably rich and snobbish, but I also kind of got the impression from the books that he was a bit simpler. Not stupid, just not extremely sharp-witted. Other than that, I really thought this was a good begginning. *is off to read next chapters*

Author's Response: Hmm, I always thought of Tom (from the books) as being quite witty and not stupid enough to take the potion unless something came at him without any hints. He just gave me that impression. But I suppose it's all in how you read the story. Thanks for the review!

Name: POTCgirl1337 (Signed) · Date: 08/22/06 13:33 · For: Chapter One
Awsome chapter! It is so well thought out, espically all the little things. Such as the traits of Lord V comming from different parents. Anger and impatience from his dad, and the inability to think of every detail in a plan and prevent them from going wrong. EX. The diary getting destroyed, then Merope not making sure everything is ready before he wakes up.

Author's Response: Thanks. I rather like the character of "Lord V" and it was a nice persective writing the story of their parents. Thanks for the review!

Name: POTCgirl1337 (Signed) · Date: 08/22/06 13:19 · For: Prologue
Aww! Thats sweet... yet in a twisted sort of way. I always love it when people write fanfics about characters that we don't know much about. It shows how much thought they put into the story line. With trying to find the right personality to fit the little bit we know. I like how you made her and Tom really rather quick witted, after all, they are the parents of Voldie.WAY TO GO SHAYLA!!! I can tell this is going to be a great story.

Author's Response: hehe, thanks. I waned to pull out Voldemort's personality traits in both of them but also let them be their own person. Thanks for the review!

Name: crazy_purple_hp_freak (Signed) · Date: 08/22/06 9:08 · For: Epilogue ~ Birth of a Legend
A fantastic ending to a very moving chapter and a great story. *sniff*

Once again, I'll pile on the praises for your characterisations of these two people!! I like the fact that Tom and Merope meet again. Although this Tom, who gives Merope money, isn't the angry, violent Tom that we know, the gesture nevertheless works, as it shows how much people can change...I also like the portrayal of Sara, showing that maybe she does have a heart!

The alternating scenes of orphanage/Merope's past worked very well in keeping the pace of the story flowing and constant. I love the way that little things that you have added in tie in with little bits of canon.

Overall, a great fic! You're a really talented writer! I'm off to read some of your other fics now! *grin*

Author's Response: Thanks for all your compliments; you're a great reviewer! And yes, I have an odd love for switching back and forth between past and preasent. You'll see that in other fics as well.

Name: crazy_purple_hp_freak (Signed) · Date: 08/22/06 8:55 · For: Chapter Five
The description in this chapter, especially of the weather and the snowdrops is absolutely gorgeous, as well as being appropriate to the situation, and a pleasure to read.

I like the way that you have furthered the impact that an absence of magic has on her. The language barriers are also very realistic.

A teeny (kind of) nitpick...the day before this, Merope was having massive morning sickness pregnancy problems, and she seems to be absolutely fine..just thought that might be a bit unrealistic, though obviously her throwing up doesn't really match the sad-yet-descriptive mood of this chapter...just thought I'd point it out anyway...

*goes off to read next one*

Author's Response: Pfft, yeah. I added in the sickness to ease into the pregnancy thing, and then once that was over I srot of dropped it. Whoops. Hehe. But thanks for the great review!

Name: crazy_purple_hp_freak (Signed) · Date: 08/22/06 8:37 · For: Chapter Four
*shakes head* Its sad, its tragic, but we knew it was going to happen.... and your descriptions and characters were exactly right again!! Well done!!

I like the way that Tom's character changes again, expressing his anger and contempt at being hookwinked.

Just a quick typo in the last paragraph..."he took once last glace" should be glance. :)

Author's Response: I think I've gotten that correction a million time so far, but I never manage to change it. But thanks for the review!

Name: crazy_purple_hp_freak (Signed) · Date: 08/22/06 8:28 · For: Chapter Three
Aww I almost feel sorry for Merope, she's so convinced that things are going to work out when we can see/know that it won't.. *sob*

I like the way that Tom's character has subtly changed, even without the potion. He is no longer violent and cold, just grumpy. I think that this works quite well, in leaving us to guess that maybe the potion has a more lasting effect than we thought?

I also like the way that everything in this story seems to 'knit' together, in that the timing of Valentine's day coincides and works well with the fact that this is also the day that Tom loves Merope the least.

A tiny bit that I'm not quite sure of the meaning of:
"Merope cleaned up, and put away the dishes as she normally did, but noticed the new expression on Tomís face as he watched her. It was not an expression of love or admiration, but one of contempt. Maybe he was happy here after all?"
This seems to me to be a contradiction, as if he feels contempt for her he cannot be happy? Don't know if its just me being slow today....ignore that...

Author's Response: I'm glad that you noticed the slow chanrge in Tom, as I tried to make it slow so that it didn't jump out at you but was still noticable. Thanks for the review!

Name: crazy_purple_hp_freak (Signed) · Date: 08/22/06 8:17 · For: Chapter Two
An excellent ending to the chapter. The story is progressing very smoothly and the ending of this chapter further increases the sense of forboding that I'm sure I'm not alone in starting to feel!!

I'm liking the characterisation more and more with every chapter! Merope's character is understandable as she is feeling both protectiveness and guilt towards her husband.
I also like the descriptions of the amulets, and the way that Tom wants to make one for his wife. Its interesting to see these things from a slightly different perspective...a great idea!

Anyhoo... *will go r & r next chapter!*

Author's Response: Thanks, I love my Tom and Merope as well. They're both just such great characters, and I'm glad you like them. Thanks for the review!

Name: crazy_purple_hp_freak (Signed) · Date: 08/22/06 8:05 · For: Chapter One
Again, fantastic characterisation. The use of Tom's 'pre-potion' morning mood was very effective in showing just how much Merope was relying on the potion, and also how fragile the marriage was, should a single mistake be made.

Going to Romania is a lovely twist to the story. I like the descriptions of the mountains and the scenery, which are also a good way of laying out the romantic atmosphere Merope is trying to create.

Overall a great chapter! I especially loved the line: [i]Amortentia so far had been her dearest friend. It helped her get her greatest desire, but sometimes it also felt as if it was tearing her apart. [/i]
I think it basically sums everything up.

Author's Response: Thanks for picking out that line; I also especially like the way I compare things. I'm glad you like it.

Name: crazy_purple_hp_freak (Signed) · Date: 08/22/06 7:50 · For: Prologue
A very well written prologue to a story, well done! I really liked the characterisations of both Merope and Tom, especially your portrayal of Tom as a slightly snobbish sarcastic person. I think this worked extremely well as a contrast to the change in his personality after taking the potion.

One of my favourite sections was the use of 'One gulp down.'...'Two gulps down.'...'Three gulps and... '
This was extremely effective in keeping the reader's attention and expressing the anxiety of Merope herself.

A great prologue... *goes off to read next chapter* :)

Author's Response: Have fun with the enxt chapter and thanks for the review!

Name: butterflykisses (Signed) · Date: 08/21/06 18:12 · For: Chapter One
Another wonderful addition to Amortentia.

Great touch with adding the Romanian in there. I really like the uniqueness it gave to this. You don't see many fics with Romanian in them!

You're description of Amortentia and its effects onnot only Tom but Merope as well are wonderful. Very good job!

Author's Response: Thanks, it took me forever to find a traslator for those lines. I'm glad you liked them.

Name: butterflykisses (Signed) · Date: 08/21/06 18:08 · For: Prologue
I love how you began this! The use of the onomatopoeas (sp?) has a great effect and makes the scene more realistic and tanglible. Great job!

Hee, I really like how you portray Tom. My favorite line is when Merope invites him in and he says, "NO!" Every time I read that I giggle. :D

Great job, little sister!

Author's Response: Thanks, big sis. I rather like the moments when Merope freaks out as well. *giggle*

Name: Thebird (Signed) · Date: 08/20/06 19:50 · For: Chapter One
Ooooh... Seriously, I cannot stop reading this. I'm into this hook, line, and sinker. I love the way Tom Riddle is so irritable, and then POOF, he drinks the potion and is "in love" again. It's almost sick how that works. It takes a really talented writer to pull this off. And you are.

Author's Response: Aww, why thank you. I always love hearing that. *giggle*

Name: Thebird (Signed) · Date: 08/20/06 19:24 · For: Prologue
Wow...the writing of this piece is really top-notch. This actually gave me chills, reading how Merope spun Tom into her little web. I seriously am reveiwing this quickly because I want to get on to the next chapter!

Author's Response: Heh, thanks. I'm glad to hear that.

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