Reviewer: Blinded Moon
Date: 04/25/06 14:13
Chapter: First Day of School

Haha the shoes line is great! I'm seeing some rather light parallels between this story and Harry's school life/James' school life.

Author's Response: I don't remember how i came out with that line! I was hoping that it would become one of those things people remember, hehe. Thanks for the review!

Reviewer: littleWoNdErFuL
Date: 03/26/06 12:19
Chapter: First Day of School

I love how Neville is teaching DADA, but I always imagined him coming back as a Herbology professor. The only little argument that I have about this chapter is Ornella becoming a prefect. I was under the impression that Ornella was in her 7th year, and I didn't know that you could get your prefect badge any other year than 5th. Maybe I'm wrong, though. But that's it. Other than that, I loved it, even if not too much happened! Update soon, can't wait for the next chapter!

Author's Response: About the prefect thing, it's not stated anywhere that you can't become a prefect in years 6 or seven. So it could be both ways. I decided that Neville should teach DADA because it would be too obvious to put him in Herbology and besides he probably got a lot of experience and learned a lot of spells fighting a long side Harry. Thanks for the review!

Reviewer: littleWoNdErFuL
Date: 03/26/06 12:08
Chapter: The Beginning of a wonderful Year

Loooveed it! I've added this fic to my favorites! Your characterization is just so good! OCs tend to make me nervous sometimes, but you know your characters so well and they are so far from being Mary-Sues/Gary-Stues. Again, great job! Off to the next chapter!

Author's Response: *Throws confetti* I'm in someone's favorite list!!! Me so happy!!! I really put a lot of thought into these characters, I'm happy they're not Mary Sues! Thanks again!

Reviewer: littleWoNdErFuL
Date: 03/26/06 11:55
Chapter: September Morning

I really like this! Normally I'm not one for slash fics, but your art on the forums drew me in, and your writing is definitely keeping me here! I really like Ariel already; he' believable and seems like a great guy that I would want to be friends with! Nessa reminds me of me: I too am lacking in the height department (I clock in at only 4'11") and am known for my, er, loud mouth. Characters are big for me; if I can't relate to and believe them, then I'm turned away from the fic. Already I really like this and can't wait to read the next chapter! Awesome job!

Author's Response: Yay!!! I'm glad you liked my drawing I better keep doing them hehe. I'm happy that you can relate to Nessa, her mouth sure does get her in trouble. Thanks for the review!

Reviewer: Madame Marauder
Date: 03/20/06 17:15
Chapter: First Day of School

Wow, so Neville's teaching DADA. Cool! I loved your description of Ariel telling Taylor he was/is gay. It was an interesting read (I've never read anything like that) since a lot of slash stories involve someone randomly shouting "I'm gay and I will always love so-and-so!". This was a nice change. He seemed genuinely apologetic, which gives Ariel depth. I'm curious to know who the champion(s) will be. One minor little thing was that you said Ariel "lighted" Nessa's cigarette. It's "lit". For some reason that stuck with me. Other than that, perfect chapter. 10/10.

Author's Response: Yay!!!!!!! I got three reviews on the same day!!!! Me so happy!!! You guys are the best! Coming out of the closet is a HUGE deal and a very dramatic chapter in most gay men's life and I hate how it's just ignored in most slash fics. I think this happens because most of the writers are girls and don't really know how it all happens and such. That's why I wanted to for it to be important. Thank you for the tip, I'll go fix it. Tomorrow I think, now I'm to tired. Thanks for the review!

Reviewer: Madame Marauder
Date: 03/20/06 17:07
Chapter: The Beginning of a wonderful Year

Purplemage, I'm liking this story. Ornella seems interesting and Nessa about as crazy as anything! However, I'm curious as to your rating system. This chapter (I think) should be 6-7 or 3-5 years. It's not bad (unless you count Ariel's crushing "bad". Which it really isn't). Great job!

Author's Response: Hey Madmar!! Yay, I'm rating the whole thing 6-7 year because later the story gets more intense. Most of the chapters are PG, but I didn't want people to be reading and then suddenly skip a couple of chapters because their not suitable. Just to be safe I'm giving it a 6-7 year rating. Yeah Nessa is a wild one!!!! I'm glad you like Ornella she's also fun to write. Thanks for the review!

Reviewer: Oppungo
Date: 03/20/06 13:57
Chapter: First Day of School

Ah, I still love Nessa! I thought her reasoning was great for getting Arial to at least think about telling Christian how he feels. Also, she's just a great character! I loved the line about Neville; "He didn’t exactly look like a hero, to me he looked more like the nice man from the store at the corner." It's so great in imagery and characterization. I also liked Ivy as well! I mean, not as a person, but she sounds like such an interesting character, I want to see more of her too! Aw, poor Arial with Taylor, that must be quite awkward! I loved the "I love your shoes!" line though! Ooh, can't wait to find out who's chosen as a champion, hopefully we'll find out soon...

Author's Response: Yes, Nessa is the one that pushes Ariel to doing things he normally wouldn't do, but that's the job ofa best friend. Don't worry you'll see a lot of Ivy. Haha, the "I Love your shoes" line I don't know where that came from. Who we'll be the champion? wuahahahaha. Thanks for the review!

Reviewer: little_kitty
Date: 03/19/06 9:18
Chapter: First Day of School

*Squee* I'm the first reviewer for this chapter! Anyway, I thought it was awesome! It's really starting to get more interesting...the bathroom scene with Myrtle and the "qho was flushed" was pretty funny. Out of curiousity, where does Ariel get more cigarettes if he runs out? Do people send him more packs? It kind of surprised me that Neville is teaching DADA. I always pictured him teaching something like Herbology. What ashame that Taylor and Ariel ended so badly, though. But overall, this was a good chapter! update again soon :)

Author's Response: Well, i didn't explain this and I don't think I will on the fic, but before he goes to Hogwarts he buys cartons (which are the boxes with many packages inside) and if he runs out I'll guess there could be a place at Hogsmeade that sells cigarettes -_- I guess the Neville thing is more or less like what happened with Snape, he wants to teach Herbolody but got stuck with DADA, hehe Thanks for the review!

Reviewer: little_kitty
Date: 03/16/06 16:30
Chapter: The Beginning of a wonderful Year

Purplemage, this is really interesting so far! I’m really liking it, especially since I’ve never read a fic that centres around OC’s before. I think your characters have all been really nicely planned out. I was just wondering, does everybody know that Ariel is gay, or is it just the girls so far? I am really glad that I started reading this fic. I really like the way you ended the chapter…bit of a cliffhanger there. I loved GoF, so I'm sure that I'll love this too! More tasks, more Yule Ball, more fun! Great work so far, and I hope you update soon! 10/10

Author's Response: A lot of people have been asking me that lately. Don't worry I'll explain later if the other people know if he is gay or not. GoF was my favorite book too! I actually got the inspiration for this fic when I saw the GoF movie. Thanks for the review!

Reviewer: Oppungo
Date: 03/16/06 10:54
Chapter: The Beginning of a wonderful Year

Hmm, interesting, Arial‘s mother was there for the last Triwizard Tournament - what year was she in? I’m also quite curious as to who Ornella’s mother is - anyone we know? My favourite line has to be: “Usually when she wasn’t talking it meant that she wasn’t there”, which made me laugh out loud! One thing I noticed was the word ‘vacations’, which isn’t really used in England - it would be ‘holidays‘. There seemed to be a few ominous undertones here - why do I get the feeling that maybe they won’t look back at this and laugh?! Does everyone know that Arial is gay, or just the girls? Do any of the boys mind? Hmm, wonder what’ll happen with Christian in the future...with the Triwizard Tournament back I guess that’ll mean another Yule Ball! Wonder if it’ll cause as much trouble as the last one! Looking forward to the next chapter!

Author's Response: The first review for this chap *squee* Yes, Ariel's mother was there when the first one was held, you'll find out more about that later. Sorry about the vacations thing, luckily is something that can be easily fixed. Undertones? What undertones? and yes the Yule Ball is coming, I promise a lot of teenage melodrama in it!

Reviewer: Oppungo
Date: 03/16/06 10:34
Chapter: September Morning

What a great start! You really know how to draw the reader in, with the vivid description in the first paragraph to the conversations that followed. This is such an original story, I really like the character of Arial, he seems really interesting, and seems more ‘real’ then many OC’s I’ve seen! The way you show his emotions is very well done, and I like the description of his parents, they have actual lives, which is good! I also enjoyed the scene when you showed how his parents met - it seems like Arial is waiting for that to happen to him, too. The only nitpicky thing that I can find is; ‘“Well, is nice to see you too!”’ - should it be ‘it’s’ instead of ‘is’? Also there is some irregular spacing between ‘a’ and ‘T-shirt and my trusty leather boots.’ So far I’ve got to say that my favourite character is Nessa! I’m hoping to see more of her in particular! The way you ended it was also well done, it’s making me want to click the button for the next chapter right now!

Author's Response: I'm happy you like Ariel, I've put a lot of effort into making him look 3 dimentional. Because the story is told in first POV I want to show all the things that go in his mind. Another Nessa fan! That's great, i have a lot of fun writing her. Don't worry you'll see a lot from her in the future ;) Thanks for the lovely review PS: I'm working on the banner

Reviewer: Madame Marauder
Date: 02/28/06 19:46
Chapter: September Morning

Hey Purplemage, This is good! I've been meaning to get around to reading it (your banner caught my eye). I like how Ariel's cool with being gay, but still shows insecurities. It gives him lots of depth and makes him realistic. But why twenty-three years? Just curious. Most authors would have gone with five, seven, ten or thirteen. Does the time lapse have any signifigance? I also like Vanessa (Nessa). She seems like a good character. I look forward to reading more-- hopefully soon! Cheers, MadMar

Author's Response: Yay a fellow Gryffindor!! *huggs* I've put a lot of effort into Ariel, to make him look threedimansional and without making him a clone of myself, I'm glad it shows. Nessa is a lot of fun to write, because she's a wild one. About the years, i don't explain it, but Ariel's mother (Emily) was from Harry's generation, so basically he's in the second generation, but I didn't want to do the whole Harry Potter's son plot. Thanks so much for the review!

Reviewer: Voldie
Date: 02/14/06 15:35
Chapter: September Morning

good job =] update soon!

Author's Response: Thanks! ;)

Reviewer: veil_walker
Date: 02/13/06 15:39
Chapter: September Morning

Hey yeah I mean the whole story is just one continuous paragraph, like there aren't any breaks at all in the text. It doesn't show up like that in the editing box, but when you go to read it it does, so it can be hard to spot. But all you've got to do is just make sure you hit enter twice between paragraphs or just use
tags (i think). I'll keep reading :)

Author's Response: Oh my god! How embarrasing, I had no idea, I think it's fixed now.

Reviewer: veil_walker
Date: 02/12/06 22:28
Chapter: September Morning

hey fairly cool start you've got here, though you may want to fix the fact that there's only one continuous paragraph, as that can make you feel pretty dislexic when you read it...you've got a good idea i think, though 8/10

Author's Response: I'll try to fix that paragraph, though I'm not to sure which one your talking about. Thanks for the review!! I hope you'll keep reading.

You must login (register) to review.
Information
Find out everything you need to know about the site right here.


We have stories and authors in this archive.

:

RSS
Choose Theme:
SOCIAL MEDIA
     
MOST RECENT
The Weird Sisters - B-Sides and Rarities, Vol. 2 by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor 1st-2nd Years
The Weird Sisters are back for an encore. Ten more tracks from your MNFF authors.
on this side of heaven by Nagini Riddle 1st-2nd Years
Ariana Dumbledore is struck by a stray curse, and she suddenly finds herself...
The Youngest Death Eaters: Year III by DestinyMoonStar 6th-7th Years
Year 3 A year of hard choices and tough talks: Destiny learns about...
FEATURED
Oread, Walking by Seren
Cedric was just as odd as Hermione, because he liked to walk. Cedric/Hermione
The Effect of Gamma Rays on Two Terrifically Trapped Gryffindors. by Fenixaze 3rd-5th Years
From the "Stuck where for the weekend?" Challenge on Portkey.org ... Our two...
Drunk on Him by armagod679 Professors
For me, he was an obsession, a burning obsession, one that I could never let...
A Broken Hallelujah by epiphany212 Professors
You have always loved the chase. The pursuit of Quaffles and dragons have carried...
In the Hufflepuff Way by 1000timesingoldenink 3rd-5th Years
Did anybody really appreciate Hannah's mum?Because Mrs. Abbott was a heroine...
And Now... by Oregonian 3rd-5th Years
Moments after the death of Voldemort, Harry gazes at the corpse of the Dark...
The Weird Sisters - B-Sides and Rarities, Vol. 1 by minnabird 1st-2nd Years
Welcome back to another rousing round of rambunctious rock!However, a new act...
CATEGORIES