MuggleNet Fan Fiction
Harry Potter stories written by fans!

Name: sayiansirius (Signed) · Date: 11/25/06 13:45 · For: Special Guests
Excitement, excitement. You sure know how to make readers want more, Harald. Another great and thought-provoking chapter. The entrance of the dream boy made me gasp out loud. I wasn’t expecting that at all. And something makes me think that he knows Ariel – maybe Ariel is in his dreams also. Hmmm…so many questions are rolling around in my head after reading this chapter! And that’s a good thing! I see why the chapters feel a bit rushed now – it’s like speedy little things leading up to the big bang. I can tell you want a lot of things to happen so you’re trying to get to the really really good parts lol.

Another thing I liked was that you didn’t spend a great amount of time describing the Beauxbatons and Durmstrangs as we already know how they look.

There weren’t any grammer or punctuation errors except for this one little nitpick:

Some people were even talking about a black dragon, which an even worse rumor.

There should be a ‘was’ in between ‘which’ and ‘an’.

All in all, another great chapter. All this excitement building up gets me worried for Ariel.

p.s. I love Nessa and her reactions to things!! :D

Author's Response: Hey KC!!! I'll never get tired of your reviews *smile* I'm happy that you have questions in your head because that's what I wanted to happen. Sorry fot the sentence, I shall go fix that. Yay!!! Another Nessa fan!! Thanks for the review!

Name: sayiansirius (Signed) · Date: 11/25/06 8:31 · For: The Declaration
Oh my goodness! Poor Ariel. :( I feel so sad for him. Wow. It really does suck to be rejected – especially when its in a situation like this where most people do not accept who you are. Why, oh why did Ariel have to mess up what could have been a good conversation, well, that is if they ever got any words out lol.

Anyway, I think this was very nicely written. You got the emotion and point across and I can really feel for him. I think you wrote that situation very nicely and it can very much connect with real life. I think the chapter was a bit rushed though but that didn’t stop it from being a superb chapter.

Half of me thinks that Christian might be bisexual or gay or something. I don’t know why but for him to ask if he had a boyfriend – it just seems a bit weird…if Ariel did he would have been seen around school with the boy. I’d also like to know why Christian was crying.

Can’t wait to finish reading. Great chapter once again – poor Ariel.

Author's Response: Hey KC. Ariel and Christian couldn't have a good or a real conversation if they weren't honest with each other. Well, I was able to write the situation acuratly because I've been through it myself a couple of times. I know how it feels so be rejected. I'm just happy I put those experinces into good use. I rushed the chapter a bit because i wanted to get to the real plot. I had spent more than enough time introducing the characters and the setting. And I can't tell you why Christian was crying because that would ruin the plot for you. Thanks for the review!

Name: BloodRayne (Signed) · Date: 11/25/06 5:42 · For: Between Girls, Boys, and Boys
Ha! I loved that part at the end, it was so damn FUNNY! Anyway, I can't find anything wrong with our story to comment on, it's perfect! Don't take too long with your next chapter!

Author's Response: Glad you liked the part at the end. I'll try to update as soon as posible. Thanks for the review!

Name: 90glassslippers (Signed) · Date: 11/24/06 19:43 · For: Between Girls, Boys, and Boys
Halarious! It was very good of Areil to forgive Nessa. I don't like her anymore, she's not loyal at all. But of course I liked it, so please update soon.

Author's Response: Nessa has a couple of issues, but at the end she's a good friend. Thanks for the review!

Name: The Wanderer of Oz (Signed) · Date: 11/24/06 15:19 · For: Between Girls, Boys, and Boys
This chapter was too much for me, comic-wise. I fell of my chair.

First I was angry, then happy, then sad, then weirded out, then angry, then happy and then laughing. Wonderful chapter!

Can't wait for the next!

Author's Response: I hope you didn't hurt yourself when you fell off the chair. *smile* but I'm glad it made you laugh so much. I'm happy you liked the chapter. Thanks for the review!

Name: dancergirl117 (Signed) · Date: 11/24/06 10:41 · For: Between Girls, Boys, and Boys
OMG. That line at the end from Ornella about her and Borislav was absolutely hysterical. Oh I loved that chapter

Author's Response: *grins* thank you!

Name: BeautyInTheBreakdown (Signed) · Date: 11/24/06 9:32 · For: Between Girls, Boys, and Boys
Sorry sorry... I'm reviewing AGAIN... but I figured here would be the best place to tell you... *cough cough cough* http://www.freewebs.com/arielandthetriwizardcup/ *coughs some more* : D This shows how I truly have no life, doesn't it?

Author's Response: I can't help but have a huge grin on my face. You are AMAZING!!!

Name: BeautyInTheBreakdown (Signed) · Date: 11/24/06 7:28 · For: Between Girls, Boys, and Boys
Hi! Sorry about the second review. I bet you got all excited when you saw there was a new one and then you saw it and was like, darn... just another one from Gabby...

I just felt the need to say that you should ignore my cousin for a few reasons... one, because I adore the names in the story. C'mon... they're awesome. Two, because this review was written while she was actinga tidbit crazy because we were talking to my friends online and she was having a blast because she could say anything she wanted simply because they were my friends and not hers. Third reason is that she's my cousin and no onme should take her seriously anyway!!!! I LOOOOOVVVVE the story and the names and everything about it. No worries Harald. My cousin is a bum. :D

By the way, my brother should have seen it coming since I was sharing the chair with him and I saw the e-mail, I squeed out loud... he just looked at me funny, so I told him to move, he didn't move quick enough... so I just gave him a hand... *smirk*

Author's Response: LOL don't worry, Gabby. I wasn't really upset about what your cousin said. It was just...weird. *huggles*

Name: Kiteshvara (Signed) · Date: 11/24/06 5:54 · For: Between Girls, Boys, and Boys
Gorgeous story! I love the characters and the plot! I can't wait to read what happens next! ~clings~ I WANNA KNOWS!

Author's Response: Thank you, I'll try and update as soon as posible. Thanks for the review!

Name: BeautyInTheBreakdown (Signed) · Date: 11/23/06 22:42 · For: Between Girls, Boys, and Boys
*hem hem* OMG!!!! UPDATED!!!!!! I literally shoved my brother out of the computer chair when I saw that amazing little e-mail that said that AatTC was updated... We had no printer paper left, so I printed it out onto notebook paper just so I could read it. My family started at me, but I don't give a darn. :D

Well, as usual, I shall start by saying that this is frickin' phenomonal and I don't think I've read anything that I like more. This story is absolutely fantastic. AatTC = MAJOR LOVE. I think it should have its own fansite because its that amazing. *considers making one* Overall this was a really grood chapter. Not that any of the chapters weren't amazing. Now I shall go through and comment on the coolest lines in the story, as it has become custom and I simply can't resist.

“Borislav asked me to be his date to the Yule Ball!” My jaw dropped. “And I said yes!” Way to be Hermione, Ornella... Though I'm pretty sure she was happy when she said it... not super-bitch-squad-out-to-make-Ron-feel-bad. I don't really like Borislav too much... though I'm happy for Ornella because she LERRRVES him.

I was getting tired of listening about him, but I couldn’t dare to tell Ornella to stop; she was much too exited. Oh no... not me... I have to tell Becky to shut up all the time. :D I'm so nice like that. That's the part where, if Ariel isn't going to tell Ornella to shuddup, he should completely tune her out, as Nik does to me... constantly.

Yet again, I could ask Bahir. If he says yes, we’ll be the sensation of the Ball, and I wouldn’t care what people say because I’d be with Bahir. I love Ariel and Bahir *arrowthreethreethreethree* I love reading Ariel's thoughts about Bahir. It makes me squee inside.

what am I going to wear? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Perfect. That's one of those lines that makes me smile. Clothes do always seem more important in these situations...

interrupted by a vomit of words LOL when I first read that, I completely skipped the 'of words' part and I was like, gee, that's great Harald... thanks for sharing that someone barfed. Then I reread it and was like, oooooohhh.... :D

*gaspshockdies!!!* Nessa and Christian!??!?!!!!!! Awww man... I was really looking forward to that WWF smackdown too... Darn you, Nessa... Oooh... I have this weird feeling that he's using her for some reason... We'll just have to weait and see... :D

Hate you? I could never hate you, Nessa.

I just want to slice your throat open, spill your blood all over the Gryffindor table and throw what remains of your body into the lake so the Giant Squid can eat it for dinner!

But, no, I don’t hate you…
YESYESYESYESYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!! PERFECT-NESS! I love this bit. I actually read it outloud to whoever was in the kitchen because I liked it so much. :D

Poor Ariel!!!! He needs a really big hug. *searches* Where's Bahir when you need him?

I definately get the whole 'angry for liking a guy that you should be over' thing. Ariel and I should start a club. Awww, poor guy... *hugs Ariel*

Boris????? Teehee... Yay for finally shortening his name because it's long to type out in a review. I think it's cute that Ornella calls him Boris. :D

Well there's Bahir!!!! Why the heck doesn't Ariel stick around??!!! I bet you anything that Bahir was about to say something along the lines of, 'I'm going with her, but I could go with you too if you want, I'll totally ditch my date because I have mad love for you and when I'm around you all I can think about is being with you, so as a result, my face goes completely blank... that's why my expression is unreadable. I love you and in your presence, the only thing running through my head is elevator music and the thought of you with me.' Ya, that sounds about right...

FINALLY Nessa appologized!!! I was really sad that she and Ariel were fighting. BFFE!!!

you owe me a new jumper YES. That's another one of those good lines that you're really good at putting in the middle of the story.

There's a good guy, Ariel... Letting Nessa go to the ball with Christian. Nessa isn't lying when she said he's a really good friend.

POOR JOHN!!!!!!! He needs a hug too. I think that everyone should just have a group hug... centered around Ariel and Bahir... who obviously would start the hugging, of course. *smirk*

The ending is brilliant, Harald. I love it. Ornella is just as clueless as I am... that sounds like something I would say without realizing that it sounds really bad... Yay for Ornella!!! I'm so happy for her :D

Awww... The chapter is over... That's dumb. I hope that Ariel gets a date... I hope it nds up being Bahir even though he already has one... anything can happen in Harry Potter... It's like... whoa! How'd that happen? Oh right! It's magic! :)

LOVEEEEE IT!!!! Just saying.

~This has been a review by Gabby~

PS... My lovely and amaaaaaazing cousin Meg says that the character's names sound like the names of cereals. :D

Meg: werd to ya motha, Harald.

*she only thinks she's as gangsta as me * lol

Author's Response: *hugs gabby* I've become an oficial fan of your reviews! *Squeeeeee* ok, enough of that. I laughed so much when I read that you shoved your brother from the computer. Hehe, poor guy, he never saw it coming. arielandthetriwizardcup.com *dreams*... Where were we? Oh right, I think it's funny that you have to tell Becky to shut up all the time, I know what it's like being friends with someone and have them be completely in love with someone you can't stand. "thanks for sharing that someone barfed." LOL I was very hesitant about using the word vomit because of that. I thought that maybe it was a bit too graphic. Christian is using Nessa? I really cen't comment on that one. You'll understand more about that pairing in the next chapter. "the only thing running through my head is elevator music and the thought of you with me.'" I love this way to describe when someone is in love. Is very sweet and honest at the same time. I really like it. *smiles* I think so too that the world would be a better place if we all had group hugs all the time. :D Big AatTC group hug!! And you're cousin has put a big worry on my shoulders. Cereals????? WTF???? Oh well.... Thank you so much for the wonderful review, Gabby!!!!

Name: DreamingOfRon (Signed) · Date: 11/23/06 20:39 · For: Between Girls, Boys, and Boys
my parents had to come in to see what i was laughing about at the end, there....pure hilarity! =o)

you are truly amazing.

Author's Response: Sorry I made your parents walk in to your room. XD and thank you for the lovely words.

Name: aintcrazy4you (Signed) · Date: 11/23/06 18:52 · For: Between Girls, Boys, and Boys
LOL I loved the ending!

Author's Response: Thank you!

Name: sayiansirius (Signed) · Date: 11/20/06 18:44 · For: First Day of School
I noticed something that added to my wanting to continue this fic. I noticed it in the first second chapter actually I just never mentioned it. It’s a bit odd that he doesn’t really care for the Tournament but then when we look at the title, a grin crosses our faces. It will be rather interesting, I think, to see how he does get involved in it.

“Do you feel like a quick fag?” I asked with a grin.
Out of curiosity, is that the word used for wanting to smoke? If so, I’ve never heard it before. I actually had to read it a few times to understand it myself.

One thing that I can not help noticing in your writing is how REAL the characters seem! I mean – it’s so…weird how I can actually imagine these things happening and them saying it. It doesn’t seem like it’s written as a story but more like you just telling real life events. For example, their conversation in Myrtle’s bathroom – I figure that’d actually be how a conversation of the sort will sound – just simple and no hesitations – talking like one does in real life. It’s a wonderful style of writing and I’m loving it!!

he looked more like the nice man from the store at the corner
I swear I laughed out loud when I read this. I like how you add comedy to it here and there and I know see the slight mentions of HP. :D

“I love your shoes!” I cried.


“I’M GAY!”

My father is looking at me like I’m crazy for laughing out loud at that line. I think that was a wonderful addition to the story. It lightens the mood. A very awkward, but hilarious way for Ariel to announce his…homosexuality.

I couldn’t really see any grammatical errors or anything in this chapter. Nice job of reading over and kudos to your beta. My only nitpick is that Ornella shouldn’t be a prefect. I thought only fifth and sixth years are prefects. Then they either carry into being Head or loose their position entirely.

Very nicely written, Harald! And nice ending.

p.s. I would love to know who the characters on your banner for this are in the story! :)

Author's Response: Ariel doesn't care that much for the tournament, it's true, but it's going to play a major role in the plot and in Ariel's life and he can't do anything to stop it. Fag is a british slang word for cigarette. I don't use it a lot, but I like how it sounds and I also like it because of what it means for americans. I'm so happy that you think that my writing style is realistic. The most important thing for me is that the characters seem real and I love it that you think so. The "I love your shoes" line is become quite popular, I see. It is one of my favorites. I wasn't sure about the prefect thing. I looked around, but I never found anything that said that seventh years couldn't be prefects. Oh well, since this story takes place in the future I guess one could say that the rules have changed a bit >.> Thanks for the lovely review!!! Oh, and the characters on the banner are Ariel, Nessa, Christian, the dream guy, and Ivy.

Name: atkarid (Signed) · Date: 11/20/06 18:09 · For: Spider Hunt
You know what is hurting me so much now? That the next chapter is waiting to be validated and I'm still at suspense! I love this fic, and I seriously can't wait till the next chapter!

I love the character of Nessa becuase she makes me laugh, along with Ariel. I loved the moment between Ariel and Bahir. Just pure yea!ness.

Gah.. I'm in more suspense than Ariel (I think...) Keep up the great worka nd can't wait for the next chapter!

Author's Response: Pure Yea!ness!! Lol, I love it. I'm going to start using it. Yes, the next chapter is waiting to be validated, I'm sure the mods we'll get to it tsoon. I'm happy that you liked the fic and thanks for the review!

Name: sayiansirius (Signed) · Date: 11/19/06 13:04 · For: The Beginning of a wonderful Year
I must start off by saying that I love your writing style. The chapters seem so real that you can see everything that is happening. I love when authors write like that. It makes the story easier and more fun to read. Anyway, getting down to the review, I loved this chapter. I like the characters you’ve introduced so far and I like how you’ve added a bit of their backgrounds without going into detail about it, which would have been terribly boring.

Knowing that Ariel’s mom and a few others were there during the last one makes me wonder who they were. Did we ever meet them in the books? And will there be some sort of connection between them and the famous trio? Hmmm lol. Nevertheless, it seems more realistic so I like those additions.

For some reason, the character of Ornella reminds me a bit of Ron – always knowing things that might happen because his dad works at the Ministry. Actually, I see a bit of the trio in each of them. Nessa’s character is hilarious. I’m thinking she might be the humor in this fic. I’m looking forward to more of that.

I once convinced her that Muggles still burned witches.
This line made me laugh out loud and actually start to think how the wizarding world would be different if this still occurred. Also, about them changing in the compartment, I always thought they just put on robes – I never understood if they really changed their clothes, etc. But I guess they do. I guess you learn something new every day ;).

I love the description you used for Christian. He seems like one of those guys that every girl just falls for. I can’t wait to see what happens between them. Although, right now, he seems a bit too perfect.

Something I think you could have worked on a bit is McGonagall’s speech. It wasn’t quite a speech, really. As the new Headmistress, I think she should have said a bit more like Dumbledore does and warnings for the first years and stuff. It just doesn’t seem really like her.

There was someplace I saw a comma placed incorrectly but I can’t spot it anymore. It was just a little nitpick anyway.

Great job!!

Author's Response: Yay!!! You're still reading!!! *squeee* I know that every single author out there says the same, but I swear that in this case it is true. It gets better with each chapter. Not only plotwise, but also my writing improves greatly. So keep reading! /shameless self-promotion] Ariel's mom is an OC. She was in the same year as Harry, but they weren't friends. And I can't answer if certain characters are related to the trio, because well, I'd be revealing major plot points. Nessa can be the comic relief, but she's also the drama. hehe. You'll find out later what I mean. Christian is not as perfect as he is, he's actually far from it. Sorry about McGonagall's speech. I just didn't want to write the whoooole thing and she isn't a very important charcter in the fic so I don't give her that much spotlight either. Thanks for the beautiful review, KC!

Name: sayiansirius (Signed) · Date: 11/18/06 22:24 · For: September Morning
This is actually the first fic where I’ve read a thought provoking introductory chapter. Most times, they focus on introducing the character and what their lives, whether past or present, is about. I like the way you’ve sort of gotten us to know Ariel a bit, but still including some things that leave the reader wanting to read more.

Usually, I’m not one to read many slash fics but the summary caught my eye on this one, which is something you should be proud of doing. Also, the few that I’ve read always go into the tension between the two males or, them almost always kissing without a decent explanation as of why or how that happened. I like that you’ve taken Ariel’s character and created a few faults even though by the way you’ve described him, he seems like a handsome male who wouldn’t have trouble getting another gay guy to be interested in him.

The dream, I thought, was such a nice addition to this chapter. As the opening of a fic, you want something that is eye-catching, or in this case, mind-catching, and you don’t want the readers to stray away. You haven’t done that in this because I’m still reviewing. I love the whole imagery in the dream. Everything is described so well. From the birds melting together to form the cape (which reminded me of Voldemort’s robes being formed from the cauldron in GOF) to the boy’s appearance. I can almost feel the breath of the boy as he talked to Ariel in the dream. I absolutely love this part of the story and actually read it more than once before I continued. I hope we get to learn more about him.

Some things, I did feel were a bit rushed. I get the feeling that Ariel and Nessa don’t quite like Ornella so to have her just enter the compartment and break news like that, I just think you could have showed a bit more tension in that scene to make it seem a bit more realistic.

I didn’t find any spelling or punctuation errors. Just though a few places could have used a period instead of comma but that’s just a very small nitpick.

Can’t wait to read the rest of the chapters. Great first.

Author's Response: Hey KC! *waves* I wasn't expecting your review so soon. It was a very nice surprise. I hope this fic will make you want to read a bit more slash *winks*. I didn't go directly into the tension between the two guys because this fic is about much more than just two guys kissing. Sure the main plotline is the one of Ariel and Bahir, but there is so much more. I'm glad you liked the dream. I certainly had a lot of fun writing it. And don't worry you'll get to learn more about the mystery guy. LOL Nessa and Ariel do like Ornella. They're like my version of the trio. It's just that Nessa and Ariel wanted some time for themselves and Ornella interupted them. Thanks for the wonderful review, KC!

Name: whatever999 (Signed) · Date: 11/15/06 22:53 · For: Spider Hunt
I'll keep it short and simple: don't quit your day job, please

Author's Response: Thanks for the insightful review

Name: The Wanderer of Oz (Signed) · Date: 11/07/06 13:02 · For: Spider Hunt
Hey there again.

I just wanted to review again for some strange reason. I can do that, right? -scared look-

Anyway, I just went over the whole story and I noticed your writing gets better and better as the story goes on.

Man, I can't wait for the next chapter! =]

I feel like writing a fanfic sorta like this and then I read this and I go:

"Oh. my. God."

lol. So, anyway, great story, you and Ariel are most defitnely going on my favourites!


Author's Response: Of course you can review again!! You can review as many times as you want!!! I have noticed that my writing is improving as the story goes on. Is so nice that someone else has noticed. And you should give it a try and write your own story. I feel flatered that I inspired you. Thanks again for your review!!!

Name: The Wanderer of Oz (Signed) · Date: 11/04/06 21:04 · For: Spider Hunt
Hi Purplemage!

Alright, I swear I've been meaning to review your fic since last week, but I never got the time! So here it is...

Best. Fic. Ever.

Seriously - the way youb write is so cool, this has it all. It makes me cringe, laugh and even frighten me [ah, Ariel was on fire!].

So yeah.

I'm really hyper submitting reviews.

Author's Response: LOL, thank you, that was a very cute and strage review. (I mean that in the best way posible). Your comments made blush, seriously. :) I hope you like the next chapter.

Name: Gemma Hawk (Signed) · Date: 10/31/06 9:26 · For: Spider Hunt
o.O How could you do this to us? Oh, my goodness, this chapter was abesolutely THE BEST chapter in this story so far!


“Yes?” I felt like I could swim in his dark eyes.

“Are you gay?”

OMG! I love Ariel! Harald, you are an absolute genius for creating such characters! This is just wonderful.

The whole Jaqueline-Nessa fight was just SO funny! It was just like girls usually fight, you portrayed it so realistically that it made me laugh, it reminded me so much of other girl-fights I've seen. :) What's really funny though, is how alike the two are. Both are stubborn, a bit selfish and sarcastic and niether is going to surrender to the other!

Of course I feel sorry for Nessa though, I'm sure she didn't really forget her wand on purpose, did she? The embarressment! And getting silenced by Jaqueline! Oh, the horror! Thank goodeness it wasn't me!

Borislav... what's up with this guy? Was he drunk, or was he just driven to insanity by Jaqueline and Nessa? Nonetheless, his lines were brilliant! "“We’re lost!” said Borislav, between laughs." Love it!

As for Bahir, way to go, Ariel! He finally found out the right thing to do: confront before wasting away your life. But I still think Bahir is a bit wierd.. I wonder what this guy's story is. Hmm...

And what's up with Nessa? At first I thought that she was in love with Ariel, but now I'm begining to think that it might have something to do with Ivy crying. I already know you'll never tell us, so I'll just have to wait for the next chapter.

And what is up with Ariel being happy because Ivy and Christian broke up? Nooooooooooo!!!!! Ariel shouldn't even think about Christian anymore! Christian was a jerk, Ariel deserves better...like Bahir... But Ivy doubtlessly deserves the break-up. She was just horrible towards Ariel, and what goes around comes around, you know?

The note scene at the begining of this chapter was wonderful!!! I love John:"This looks like fun!" And Nessa to of course: "how to ignore YOU!" I love scenes with note passing, it's always so ´much fun and the character really show themselves through writing, which is cool.

And before I end this review I'm going to say that I loved chapter 10 so much that I downloaded the song Isaac to my iPod, and I think it's pretty cool.

Brilliant, as usual Harald, and you can't force a word of concrit out of me, since everything was perfect!

Author's Response: Nora!!!!! *hugs* I'm so happy you liked this chapter!! I'm thrilled you thought the fight was realistic. It's knida hard sometimes to get into a girl's head, so I'm happy that it came out alright. I had a lot of fun writing it! Nessa didn't forget her wand on porpouse. She's not THAT brave. But of course, she would never admit she forgot it. Borislav is just weird, he wasn't drunk, he just has a really strange personality, you'll see more of him in the future. Nessa? in love with Ariel?? LOL no, that could never happen. Nessa doesn't fall in love so easily. I can't believe you downloaded Isaac!! I call it the "Bahir song" That's so cool! I'll try and update as soon as posible. Thank you so much for the wonderful review!!!!

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