This again, is a really good chapter, but this time my criticism is that you're slightly falling into American slang. But your story really does flow very well.
Author's Response: oops i keep forgetting that i have to try and stick to british when i write... i'll trty and make sure the next chapter ha no american slang
It's good, but you need to remember that Sirius wouldn't say 'mom'. He's British, and we say 'mum'.
Author's Response: i'm really going to try and remember that
Yeah i am about half way through mine. Its quite hard though cos this chapter is....interesting. It explains a lot and sets up a load of new questions. Also i am having trouble with writers block and homework...ahhhh. Can't wait for the next chappy!!!
Author's Response: good luck with the writers block... i kno thats the hardest thing to deal with... i'm waiting for the weekend so i have time to write the chapter... it'll be submitted by monday hopefully!!
Lol! that was a cool chapter! Jealously, oh how i love to read it! That was really well written! And i definatley think that Lily is getting to like old prongs.... Great chapter, can't wait to see the halloween ball, especially reading all the marauders ideas! lol
Author's Response: thanx for the review!! i'm in the middle of writing bout the ball i shud finish it up by this weekend hopefully... im glad u liked the chapter... i'm having some problems with their costumes but hopefully everything will work out... i hope u update ur story soon too!!
Great chapters! I can't to see how the Halloween Ball goes! Update soon! 10 :)
Author's Response: Thanx!! I'm working on the next chapter right now... but it probably won't be up for a few more days
Aaaaw! How cute. That was a good chapter. I can't wait for the dance and to see all the reactions to the costumes! It'll be good, I hope. Fantastic story! 10/10
Author's Response: thanx!! i only just started the next chapter and i have a project for skool so it might be a couple of days before i can update again but hopefully it will be worth the wait... thanx again for always reviewing!!
Oh, how I can relate to that whole fight thing. Of course, I'm not talking about my own boring love life, but I've had almost that same fight with a friend and it didn't turn out so happy. We're still friends but the guy wasn't as sweet and awesome as Sirius. Well, good job! You made this chapter so realistic. Well, for the most part nnyway. I thought that Lily and Jenny should have probably talked it out a little more but... good job for the rest. I loved it and am so glad to see you updated!
Author's Response: thanx... yeah i guess they should've talked it out more but i really wanted to submit something so i didn't want to take more time to write out another scene... well thanx a bunch for the review!!
Yay! i am the first to review this chap!! i really loved it mate1 I had everything(?) in it, it was awesome, but i was confused by one part...this is it now... ......“I just don’t know why you’re still talking to him,” Jenny said stubbornly up in the girls’ dormitory. “It’s not like you need him as a friend.” “I know what you’re talking about. Really, I do. But it’s just that, Sirius seems different around me. He’s not the usual immature, arrogant git he usually is. Well… he’s still immature and arrogant… and a git… but he’s also sweet.” .... Did you get Lily and Jenny mixed up or have i got it all wrong? Once again awesome fic! 10/10!!
Author's Response: ooops!! sorry bout that... jenny and lily are sposed to be switched... i'll change that now.... thanx for always reviewing... i really appreciate it!!
I loved it! It was absolutely gorgeous, and I don't think it is too long. I love the way Jenny is confused about how to react, and sirius genuinely cares about her, but is still cheeky and fun. Thats all from me for now :)
Author's Response: thanx sooo much!! i didn't want it to all fit perfectly into place like jenny knowing for sure she wanted to be with Sirius and him changing for her completely... i thought this would be more interesting
Hey! This is great! Like i said in my e-mail they are so cute and yet so clueless. Writers blocks are horrid but i am pleading to whatever deity is up there that you get over it. And this time it wont be a shiny 6000000/10 but a ..........wait for it......900000000000/10. And that is shiny gold!!!! Lol! Please keep writing this is awesome!!!!
Author's Response: yaay another shiny review!! LOL.... yeah i hope we both get over our writers blocks soon... i cant wait for ur update
oww that was a cute chapter keep up with the good work
Author's Response: thanx!! i'm having a bit of trouble with the next chapter.... writer's block :( but hopefully i'll be able to fix it and submit soon!
So you're going to think this is totally stupid of me, but I was soo worried I wouldn't get to review this chapter fiirst. You're the first one to review all of (well, I say all of but there have only been two) my chapters so I feel (and want to) I should return the favor. So, I read this chapter at school and the bell rang before I could review. I've been waiting all day to get home and tell you that... I loved it!! It was a bit long (as is this review) but it all added to the ending. You did a really nice job on this chapter and I hope you keep up the good work!!! Thanks for giving me something good to read during the boring classes in school!! Awesome job!!!!
Author's Response: aaaaw thanx!! im glad to provide entertainment to help u survive the long hours of school.... and u always reviewed mine first so i thought I was returning the favor to you.... im glad u were the first to review and im glad u enjoyed it!! thanx again for the review!!
AWESOME FIC MATE!!! i check all the time, and when i saw this....well you can guess the rest. WHOOPPEEE!!!! They kissed! It was sooo cute!!!! keep writing....~goes onto her knees and gives the puppy dog eyes..along with padfoot (who is NOT dead)!!! pleaseeee~ 6,000000000/10 (and its a big shiney gold 6,00000000!!)
Author's Response: yaaay a 6,000000000!!! and a shiny one!!!! i luv shiny things!! lool im glad ppl seem to like that i'm finally getting Sirius and Jenny together.....thanx for the review
Hi! Yet again, brilliant chapter!! I'm not going to go on with any constructive criticism that I might have because I was so happy with the ending!!! Yay!!! Sirius and Jenny!!!!!! Soooo cute!!! And I agree that Sirius MUST be alive!!! She must bring him back! Great chapter!
Author's Response: thanx... and if the ending was good enough to stop any constructive criticism then it must be good... lool im full of myself i know but i just liked this chapter...
AWWW!!!!I love your story !!! please keep up the good work!! *PADFOOT LIVES ON!!!*
Author's Response: thanx!!! im glad ur enjoying it... and yeah i'm in sirius denial that he's gone.... he's alive i tell u!! lol
OMG am i the first to review?? Any way that was great!!! THEY KISSED!! WOOO
Author's Response: yeah i was excited when they kissed and i was the one writing it... thanx for reviewing... the chapter JUST got submitted so ur the first to read and review iit.. hope ur enjoying the story
hey! that was really gr8....... it was really cute......... do update soon, i am waiting...:) ~*10*~
Author's Response: thanx... the next chapter is in the queue so hopefully it will be up soon!!
Hey it's me! I thought i might as well review this fic again as u have been reviewing mine! Thanx by the way! Annnnyway i really did like this new chapter. I couldn't help getting caught up in sirius's happiness. I also like the way you had the three boys arguing with Madame Pomfrey. That was funny! Keep writing m8! 100000000000000000000000/10!!!
Author's Response: thanx nd ur welcome for the reviews!
Oww that was really cute!
Author's Response: thanx!! :)
Great chapter! I love how peter is always so jumpy, and wanting to check the map. It seems to me just the thing he would do! It wouldn't seem like a Marauders story if it didn't have the midnoght sneak- outs! Well done! I also really liked how Violet was fussy with the password. The whole midnight walk thing set it up perfectly for Sirius to speak to Jenny in private. I loved it :)
Author's Response: thanx a lot!! i was actually debating about whether or not i shud put in th midnight outing cuz at first it didnt fit with the plot at all, but then i tied it in with Sirius talkin to Jenny at the end