I wish I hadn't read this story. It is exquisite. It is one of the most beautiful things I've ever read.
(I wish I hadn't read it, because I now think everything I've written is crap.)
Exquisite. Painfullly exquisite.
Really great job. I love how you brought so much of Sirius and Regulus' bond into the story. Really well written ^_^
Wow. What a great fic! I love how you intertwine his memories with his current thoughts and emotions. Also, it's great how you can tell how messed up his life has been and how weak - even close to insanity - he is now! The parts about his family really helped us understand his character more, as did his description of his relationship with Sirius, of course. The stars at the beginning were great. So was his fear of death, and of course the numbers throughout the fic. And, seven is a great number, too. :D Powerful and all, right? So is his death at the end. I like how he dies and nothing changes, really, but that he falls "elegantly" and he manages what he was afraid of: to die gracefully. Really, a brilliant one-shot!
Rather depressing if you ask me. I like your ideas about RAB being Regulus and that the potion was created by Snape.
Sirius, Sirius, death is a difficult thing.
I do not understand how to die.
That is so sad.
I love this story. This is possibly the third (fourth?) time I've read it but I've never left a review until now because I needed some re-reads for it to really sink in. You've taken a difficult storyline to write (at least I've always found writing the Black Brothers especially hard) and made it completely your own. Any more authors with fics about Sirius and Regulus need not apply! I've been looking for a story this well written for a logn time, the characters are perfect and the structure is simple but very slick with the counting down and italics speaking Regulus's thoughts. The mix of flashbacks to his childhood and the emotionless letter left by Sirius fit so well and they really provide an excellent background into the psychology of the relationship between the two boys. I think the idea you had of Kreacher being forced to drink the potion (and thus going mad) is an interesting one, I've never thought of it like that. Only one criticism I have from the entire thing is this line: I miss you, you great daft git,. Somehow I think that it sort of breaks the build up of the tension and doesn't quite fit in with the mood of the rest of the fic. I agree that Regulus would be angry/regretful etc but I think it's perhaps the phrase 'daft git' that, in my opinion, makes it sound odd. It sounds like soemthing I think that James would call Sirius as a joke, not something Regulus would say when he is upset and terrified. However that might just be me.
That aside, this is an excellent piece of fanfiction and deserves all the praise it is undoubtedly getting. I'm adding it to my favourites list. I only wish now that I had never even attempted writing my own story about Sirius and Regulus- this one surpasses it so much. Well done, Diamond Quill
Ooh... This one was wonderful. Loved it - I loved the constant theme of stars running throughout, and the mention of Algol (only because I did a project on it, but, hey, it counts for something, right?) Anyhow - this is really something spectacular... The lavender at the end was a stunning ending to a spectacular story. Bravissima!
Everyone's said all that can be said--but I thought I'd let you know how much I admire this piece of writing. It's...so sad, but also beautiful. You are very talented (with quite a formidable vocabulary!), and this is exactly how I hope Regulus will be shown as a person in canon--a tragic, desperate man who ultimately tried to do the right thing. The structure of it--counting down the days of the week--was absolutely inspired. It might actually be my favorite part.
So, Noldo, I commend you.
That was so sad, but very, very good. You perfectly described Regalus, at least how I always imagined him. Brilliant story!!
First, can I just say what a beautiful, beautiful, elegant, dark and desperatly sad story this is, this has really caught me up inside, and i shan't be forgetting it in a hurry.
Along with the wonderful prose, what really makes this fic is your characterisation of Regulus. His thoughts are so detailed, get so deeply into his mind and emotions. For example, I particularly liked his fear of death that goes right back to his childhood, and the way this is contrasted with Sirius's bravery makes the effect so much stronger. I especially loved the line 'I do not understand how to die.' Ooooh that sent shivers down my spine. The fear shows a vunerable side to him, almost cowardly, however his actions at destroying the horcrux contradict that, adding another side to him.
The dialogue we see from his childhood seems to be reflected in his dialogue even as an adult, his hope of not being killed, his stargazing, and this all reflects the vunerability of his position.
You've made me feel as though I was almost inside Regulus's mind. I'll definatly be reading more of your writing!
Wow. It's stories like this that remind me why I'm addicted to fanfiction. I am infinitely jealous of your writing ability. Very, very, very, very good...especially the counting down of the days, and the way Regulus was portrayed as the younger brother.
Well, I think that it’s finally time to take a slice out of my day to come and review your wonderful work. I had trouble deciding what to review [I assure you, I’ve read most of your fics, and just haven’t reviewed them yet]. After a period of much deliberating, I chose Seven [I know, obvious, right? ;)]. Everything you write is excellent. Just letting you know. But you probably already know that by now, so on to the review!
First off, I want to say that I have never seen html tags put to such a good use before. I mean, the simple interactions, those little lines in parenthesis… genius. Man, how do you do it? How do you keep up the good work? The counting of the days helped set the time frame… once you saw it was going backwards, the audience knew something was going to happen. It was just one more thing that makes it fun [or sad] to read.
The Sirius/Regulus interactions showed how much Sirius means to Regulus, which I think is very important to the story, and the naming of the stars -- Sirius always knows. He knows Regulus isn’t going to live forever. It’s interesting. You also use the stars as a metaphor. Such as this sentence: “Ah, there is Regulus.” He writes to Sirius, and he sees, finally, that Sirius was right -- Sirius was always right. Genius.
Although it took me a few reads through to finally get it, the burning on Regulus’ arm was the Dark Mark! And he was being watched, wasn’t he? Like when he entered and exited the cave… there was someone there that made his mark burn? Ooooh. I love it. I also loved this line: “On the third night he watches the sky for a telltale flash of green, for a green-starred skull with a green-starred snake-tongue.” It just shows that he learned he can’t live forever, now that he stole the Horcrux. *dies* Oh, you’re genius. I fanboy you. So much. This is why I chose it for the Dark/Angst chat -- it simply captures emotions and feelings. And all of the little details. Oh. My. Lord. I love you for writing this.
I love how you intertwined two or three other slightly unrelated plots that just matched what the main plot was -- Sirius leaving, saying his mother was going mad, getting older by the second. It was going in so many different directions at once, yet stayed the same course. I still wonder how in the world you did it. My other fave line: "Birdsong fills the air. There is lavender growing by the side of the hut, and its scent fills him as he slowly, elegantly, languorously falls." A beautiful line.
Now for the part no one likes -- the nitpicks. First off: “He lies on the grass and watches the stars, remembering nights and nights of gazing up at them before, lying with his head on Sirius' too-thin bony shoulder, hauntingly similar faces next to each other, naming.” “too-thin bony shoulder” seems redundant too me; I’d get rid of one or the other, simply to make it read easier. “He remembers how Sirius was always thinner after the holidays, always sharp angular planes and thick black eyebrows and carefully studied elegance, thinner on a diet of anger and rebellion and injured pride and dark, gloomy, formal meals around the family dining table where the house-elves served delicacies on silver platters and nobody had the courage to eat, not even brash Gryffindor Sirius. This is one monster sentence that I’d suggest putting a break in somewhere.
Wonderful dear. I love it, love it, love it. I’m afraid I didn’t make sense in most of this review… but, oh well. I hope you got at least the message that you are very talented. : )
Wow, that was beautiful. You are an extremely gifted writer. Wow.
Wow. This is spectacular. It's so touching and so well-written. Congratulations on writing such a wonderful story.
By far, my favorite of yours. I wonder who it was.
What a great, astounding piece of writing. The best Regulus fic I've ever read... the images are haunting and beautiful and perfect.
That was so eloquent, and lovely.Especially the end. It was very good. I liked how you had the seven, six, five, four, three, two, one thing, it added suspense to the story, it was quite good...so definetely a ten!
The dog stretches, arches in pleasure. Sirius grins, delighted, in the dark. What are you doing here? Sirius [do you mean Regulus? Or is Sirius using Occlumency? Readers tend to be quite dense so it’s best to make it obvious] asks, softly. I've never had a dog before. Are you mine? Are you for me? I’m afraid my last review was quite confusing because I didn’t italicize my review or go back and re-read it before sending it off, so apologies for that. The one thing I would try in this piece is to make yourself clearer with the ‘he’s’ and ‘she’s’. Because of the dream-like, removed (I’m not sure I would say removed, even. It’s more a…transcendence.) quality I see why you used he and she in lieu of proper names but I think reader comprehension would be improved if you used the proper names more often. I really want to comment on your use of symbolism. “black on black” The curtain Regulus sees. I might emphasize the separation between Sirius and Regulus more. How does Regulus feel about Sirius’ friends? What was it like in school? I would, instead of explaining bring us to those specific instances more often. Readers (and it’s all about the reader, isn’t it?) tend to lose concentration quickly with this sort of dense philosophy. It’s best to sneak it in between the action, and that is one way, if you look at my other review, to work up to plot enhancement. This is the style Rowling uses. We probably learn about Harry through action and not introspection. Of course this is your prerogative. Take or leave anything I say. Another excellent story. My beta hat goes off to you. (fall, fall, fall.)
Great writing! I really like how you devided the piece through days. The relationship with Sirius was beautiful and very well thought. It's a believable fraternal love. It was very deep which is a rare thing in fan fictions.
Wow, I cried a bit. It made me horribly sad. Thanks for posting this, it makes for a good read.