Um...you really rushed this...and you didn't really put much work into it either. Try making your paragraphs shorter, remmeber 3-5 sentences, 5-7 sentences, or 7-10.
that was really really good! i LOVE this story!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i love how lily is totally screwed up and the flashback are really good too! please update!!!
Oh My God! I absolutly love your story its brilliant!!! I love the flashbacks and the emotions! I also love how Remus and Lily met...You are a terrific writer so please keep writing this fic and update so. Like I said please, please update.
p.s. are you going to add in a flashback about what happened to Lily's parents?
Any chance you'll udate soon??? I'm sorry I'm being so impatient. You're story is just that good!
PLEASE UPDATE--I'M BEGGING YOU!!!!
Excellent! I like angry James--he is well portrayed. I also like that you don't make excuses for the young James' crudeness.
10/10. More please. I'll result to begging if necessary.
ur story pretty good, but yeah, it is kinda confusing. and it seems sometiems liek theres no flow. but it seems pretty interesting, just, i feel some major OOC-ness here. and, even though i say it all the time, the wtf thing didnt seem to idk, fit, cuz u kno, theres like no im in the wizarding world, but overall good story!! and that lake thign was adorable. i would LOVE for that to happen to me. <33
Author's Response: thanx!
Noot bad. It's definately different from the usual falling in love at school. Love to hear how it ends
Author's Response: They did fall in love at skool!! You'll see through more flashbacks...they broke up because of something very unfortunate....you'll see! I'm gong to update soon..its been like a yr i know but im back into writing and hopefully the site will stop givin me so many problems!!
I really like it! Lily! How could she do that to herself?! And what the hell happened to her parents? Poor James. I wan tto know what happend to make everything go bad. Sirius has a plan?! Amazing. Please update soon! I don't think I can take it!
wonderful! are you giong to update anytime soon?! i would really like to know what sirius' plan is!
cool story so far, only try to avoid americanisms, like y'all and hell yeah, and stuff like that, because remember, this is in britain around 24 or so years ago, so they would have talked a little differently.
different...you're right it's not very easy to understand yet. like what happened with lily's parents? or what was james so depressed about? or why did they split before school ended? or, most importantly, what going on NOW?! please update soon!
OMGOSH plz plz plz plz plz UPDATE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Im WaTiNg!!!!!!
Author's Response: i will i will just cuz u told me to
please update this is a great story.
I thought your story was weird. I love the flashbacks but I am kind of lost a little bit so hopefully it will get better in the next chpiter but I can definetly see awesome writing and a great start. Update soon PLZ!!!
Author's Response: thanx i guess lol ...~un beso
It's a wonderful story. Update soon. ^^
nice work...it seems like James in first year... but is different from when we've read about him in fifth and seventh years...think about that lol...still reading
top stuff there! next chappie here i come...
This fan fic is deffinetly one of my favourites. It's so believable!! I'm kind of a loss for words :P (wow, i sound so cheezy) Please update soon!
Author's Response: aww thank you so much!!!!
any chance up an update soon?:Dpleeeeeeasssssse!!