Dude. As Harry_potter_star said under there, reviews are meant for critisism. I hope you're not one of those people that hate these kind of reviews, because the reviewer always wants what's best for you AND the story, so here goes. First of all, I noticed some punctuation errors, but no hard feelings, since there aren't that much. Second, she mentioned to them over her soldier Soldier should be shoulder. Third of all, Molly Weasley said in the fourth book that the Whomping Willow was planted after her graduation, and the willow was planted for Moony, so I don't think Arthur was head in their year, since I am assuming he's not younger than Molly, and graduated with her. Other than that, good start. Polyhymnia, Goddess and Muse of Sacred Poetry, very clever. Maybe Polyhymnia will have a spiritual nature to her.
Author's Response: I actually love critical reviews, they let me know that someone read and appreciated my story enough to improve it! I did not catch the Molly Weasley mistake at all! I completely forgot! so nice catch. Thank you for noticing the name of one of my characters (polyhymnia) she is indeed derived from greek mythology which is another passion of mine. Im glad you liked the story! I hope you keep reading!
awwwe thats soo cute! i really liked how it starter with a memorie.very nice touch. cant wait for more. update soon!!
Author's Response: Thank you so much! I liked the idea too! I like your name by the way!
i like it! i love sirius' character!! i like how clueless lily seems, and she reminds me of harry. i also like "my cousin arty". i laughed when i read that. and now, after reading the ending, i'm really curious as to why lily won't go out with james, after the sparks of a friendship!! ps: this is alex, by the way post more! :P
Author's Response: thanks for the oh so subtle hint about who you are! Im in the middle of posting more. my second chapter is in queue. If you like go to fanfiction.com (search I need a hero or Newest Maurader) or go to harrypotterfanfiction.com (and search The Fifth Maurader or I need a hero) to see the second chapter which I have already written!
I am reallylooking forward to the next chapter! I loved the detail you put in, and how well everything was described. I love how Sirius greeted Lily, it made me laugh, so like him, even as an eleven-year old. The part about lily chewing the ends of her braids made me smile, I used to do that too. Anyways keep up the excellent work and I hope you keep going! One more thing, I hate to be nitpicky but...when Jams says hello to Sirius it says "he gave him a friendly," and then it ends without saying what. Sorry I had to tell you, it's a bad habit. Excellent work!
wow. I was kinda dazing out of it towards the end, you know, it was like every other fic, but then... wow! I loved it, man! or, woman! or.... ok, I'll stop... it rocked!
Wow, very awesome story. I liked the beginning. At the end when it said "He will never be the same," that was so sad. Really sad, just disappointing. Poor Jamesie. Please Update soon!
I love the way it starts out and then ends. It changes but in a way I can totally understand. I really enjoyed reading this.
This looks like it is a good start for a really good story. I like the ending, it's really weird, but I wonder what James will do to get Lily to hate him. I like this story so far, please don't rush it cause i've seen a few where it goes through Lily's years at Hogwarts in just a few Chapter's, but it would be nice if this could be a longer story than those other ones. 9/10
OK...interesting, I love how you ended the chapter! But, Im trying to vhange all of my reviews to include constructive critism, so don't take any of thisto heart please!! Ok, number one, pretty obvious. First year arent allowed brooms, so James wouldnt have a shooting star or anything like that. second, you wrote Hymn, was a pureblood wizard, who was very close to her parents. Hymn is a girl, so she'd be a witch...like the name though! last, I'm not going to hold this against you, but it seems to me that on this site it's becoming a little too common for James and Lily to start out friends... I'm not blaming it on you, don't worry, it's just that it won't be special before long, and it makes stories like mine seem cliche... Update soon, liking it so far!
