This poem really, really, honestly left me speechless.
It was SO amazing! You're SOOOOOOO talented!!! o my wow is all i can say!
It was so great! The rhyming was incredible and just, wow! the whole thing was amazing! You're SO brilliant!!!
oh my gosh! this poem is so brilliant! I'm in love with it! You're really talented! I'm gonna go read the next chappie of it now and then comment again! WOOHOO!
such a great poem-I look forward to reading more of yours.
that was a truly amazing poem!!! i really enjoyed it! i hope you continue to write more!!!! ~Sara
Author's Response: Thanks agaun! Knew it'd be you!!!(hehe)
nice poem!!! i really liked it!!!! good job! keep writing more poems, and i'll keep reading! ~Sara
Author's Response: THANKS! You just made my day, 'penfriend', hehe!
Hmm another great poem. I like how it continued right where you left off in the other chapter and I love the way you keep the rhyme and rhythm pretty strict. I also really liked the way you did the fighting part, I could feel the sense of urgency...it's very good.
"And for the first time on Voldemort’s face," The only thing I noticed is that this line is a bit too long incomparison to the others. It wouldn't matter too much, but since you're already doing such a good job setting the rhythm it's a shame to have this one line fall out of rhythm. I think it could easily be fixed by changing Voldemort's to his. overly picky I know, I just thought I'd suggest it.
Anyways besides that little bit of pickiness on my part It was an mazing poem. 20/10...=)...oh, and keep writing, I look forward to more...
Author's Response: thanks! I'll surely make the suggested changes. You can also read another of my poems, OUT OF THIN AIR, which is about Harry encountering a dementor in Privet drive. It;s in the poetry section, a few poems above this one. Anyways, thanks for reviewing.
I liked it alot. Dunno why I never noticed it before, I should browse this section more. I like how the Goblet itself is giving advice in the end even though it was kind of the cause of the whole thing in the first place. Anyways the ending and the fact that there's another chapter are making me eager to go read more so ... *goes to read next chappie*...=)
Author's Response: THANKS A LOT FOR THE REVIEW! Iam going to update soon with 3 poems based on the three Triwizard tasks. Hoping you read it!
This part: My scar seared with pain, Splitting my head into two, Cedric was dead beside me, And there was nothing I could do. Hmm, I'd change it somehow. Instead of just saying he's dead, you should hint at it.And 'splitting my head into two' sounds a bit... I dunno. I realize how hard it is to make a fixed poem sound good and stick to the storyline. You've taken a challenging task to transform a chapter into a poem. In some parts it works extremely well, in others not so well. I think describing what happens with fixed poetry is too difficult - the fact that it rhymes might be offputting. I like the chapter but I suggest you play more with something specific rather than a whole HP chapter. Say, characters, spells, magical artifacts. Will give you a nine here. Some parts in the poem just don't sound right when they rhyme. Though others sound really really good. Looking forward to more poems. :)
Author's Response: Hi! Thanks a lot for your review. Keep sending me ideas for new poems. I won't be writing for a month or so cause my boards are coming closer. Keep reading and most importantly, REVIEWING!
hey I really like this! you chose your words very well and there's a constant feel to it throughout the piece; gives mystery and power to the oblect. well done! Take the 10!
Author's Response: Hi! Thanks a lot for your review! Thanks for reviewing my other poem also. Really appreciate it! -Marvolo
This is wonderful! You've certainly captured the essence of the Goblet, not to mention the underlying dark feeling of Gof as a whole. I'm not an expert on poetry, so I cannot give you any critique in that fashion. I can say, though, that your word choices are excellent, and your imagery is good.
There are a couple places where I might insert a word or change a word to make the rhythm a little smoother. For instance:
I warn you, be cautious might sound even better as I warn you, do be cautious.
At the top of the sky. seems week compared to the rest of your lovely poem. Soaring through the sky maybe?
Overall, nice job! Well worth the read. But to get more reads, I suggest that you tighten up your summary. Capitalize “Goblet of Fire”. And I suggest taking out “PLEEEEAAAASSSSEEE read it and submit rewies!”.... No one's going to want to read it if you beg. Especially since “reviews” is spelled wrong ;)
Author's Response: Thanks for your reply. I will certainly work on the summary! -Marvolo
Author's Response: Thanks a millions for your reply. I will surely see to it that the changes you suggested are made. I would also like you to tell me more topics for poems and stories related to HP which fans would enjoy. As this is my first submission to mugglenet, this means a lot to me. Thanks again and look out for my next poem. -Marvolo