Reviewer: Katie616
Date: 03/23/08 21:44
Chapter: A Cold Christmas Warmed.

That's quite beautiful.
Some parts are rather preposterous, I must say, like the 'There was nothing in him/That could breathe fire' part, but it was quite well-written, and was pretty. It painted quite a realistic picture. You have a wonderful way with words.

~Katie

Reviewer: Cwiddy
Date: 12/20/06 0:41
Chapter: A Cold Christmas Warmed.

Each of us have our hopes and dreams, even those of us who want to deny that side of ourselves! Can really see this in Snape here! Great poem! Very like many of my poems turn out...although I haven't done any Harry related ones yet...hmmm, may need to try here sometime!

Author's Response: Thank you for the lovely review... and keep up the writing!

Reviewer: rache
Date: 04/10/06 20:05
Chapter: A Cold Christmas Warmed.

Intense, very emotional. Good job. :)

Author's Response: Thank you.

Reviewer: lunafish
Date: 01/11/06 22:37
Chapter: A Cold Christmas Warmed.

Oh, this one's even better than the other I just read by you (though I am admittedly prejudiced in favor of a certain Potions Master). I especially love this line: "But for Severus Snape the way was blocked / By a barrier of his own design." I can't help but feel that this is why so many of us are drawn to this character; he seems always to punish himself, to hold himself aloof--we just can't help ask, what if? What if someone could make him forgive himself, what if that cold heart started to thaw? Anyway, I can't really comment on the poetry aspect except to say that it sounded beautiful read aloud.

Author's Response: Thank you so much! And yes, I think it's his very aloofness that does draw people to his character. There is something attractive about powerful, quiet men.

Reviewer: stardust
Date: 01/07/06 0:00
Chapter: A Cold Christmas Warmed.

I think you did a beautiful job on this, Maeve! I'm no student of free verse, or even poetry for that matter, but I have an ear for rythym and the way you structured your prose is just delightful. ^^; I love the opening and third verses especially, they convey a very weighty emotion and sum up that kind of internal strife very nicely. I noticed especially the way you use the words "and" and "but" at the beginning of certain verses to present and then revoke; they just have a lovely effect! "But what if someone else held the key To his solidly frozen locks of life" Just gorgeous! Your OTP seems like it'd certainly sail with a character like that! Rarely do you get OCs who seem to have such a tangible presence as yours!

Author's Response: Thank you for the review, Stardust! The OC, Maeve, has been around for some time now and occasionally I get the urge to wax lyrical about her and Severus. Poetry is not my forte, so I'm very pleased you enjoyed it.

Reviewer: the nutty imp
Date: 01/06/06 21:10
Chapter: A Cold Christmas Warmed.

^_^ Not exactly a free verse in my book. This poem has a certain rhythm to it. It certainly feels more like a song. I like this form of poetry, it's got rhythm and a strong message.

Suggestions:

To light a flare beneath his own cold
Maybe re-adjust the break to: To light a flare beneath his own cold stone of night, I do understand that you may be trying to stick with the rhythm, but in my opinion this works better to communicate your message. The sudden break in mid-sentence in this part tends to confuse a reader slightly. Or maybe to keep better with the rhythm:
To light a flare beneath his own cold stone.
A stone of night, breathe into life
Where once there was none.

Now that I've finished nit-picking and babbling about the form ^_^ Right about time I move to the move important things: the substance and message.

I love this image you gave of a man lost - How he locked himself in. The choice of words like frozen, ice, dryness and cold conveys the cold facade and loneliness (lack of life) he held inside so well. Then it's fire, heat and melt to represent the woman (Maeve) who managed to melt this cold facade and give him new life.

Excellent poem Jan!

Author's Response: Thanks for the review, Miel! I say free verse to excuse any lapses in proper metre and rhyme. ;-) I'll look at that suggestion now. :-)

Reviewer: Lilypudding
Date: 12/25/05 11:37
Chapter: A Cold Christmas Warmed.

Wow, this is great. I've never read much with your OC Maeve except for the one about Snape being in prison, and I really like the approach you have here. 10/10 definitely!

Author's Response: Thanks, Lilypudding. :-) You should go read DoL and SS. ;-)

Reviewer: Cheshlin
Date: 12/22/05 22:46
Chapter: A Cold Christmas Warmed.

That was another nice poem. I like free verse almost better then the structured, rhyming ones. I can see the characters that you have created in this poem perfectly!

Author's Response: Thanks again, Cheslin. You are a wonderful reviewer. :-)

You must login (register) to review.
Information
Find out everything you need to know about the site right here.


We have stories and authors in this archive.

:

RSS
Choose Theme:
SOCIAL MEDIA
     
MOST RECENT
Somebody Like You by Kerichi 6th-7th Years
After tea leaves predict romance for Snape, he makes a mocking wish on a...
The Green Knight Rises by Kerichi 6th-7th Years
In Creevey Wizard Comics, the Green Knight aids those in need under the cloak...
The Plight of the Portrait by weasley-malfoy-aficionado 1st-2nd Years
You should never cross a Weasley-Malfoy duo. Gargarus the Third learns it...
FEATURED
Wild Card by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor 6th-7th Years
It was going to happen eventually: Oliver Wood had to retire. But when the decision...
Half-life by welshdevondragon 3rd-5th Years
Neville has the rest of his life ahead of him, but all he can do is look back...
Skinny Love by xxbabewithbrainsxx 6th-7th Years
“I’ve always been chubby. Admit it.” “You’ve never been skinny...
Tigerlily by Maple_and_PheonixFeather 3rd-5th Years
You promised yourself you'd never hurt her, but there are times when you wonder...
Astriferous by Padfoot11333 6th-7th Years
Merope Gaunt has never been celestial.Nominated for a 2014 QSQ - Best Dark/Angst. Nominated...
CATEGORIES