Reviews For Frosted Cocoa
Reviewer: little_kitty
Date: 02/11/06 21:10
Chapter: oneshot

This was a neat story, and it was very similar to one that I beta-ed for the Winter Snows Challenge. It’s kind of a coincidence, by my siblings’ names are Kristine and Eric. So I found this story cool. To be honest, I thought the writing style was good and the descriptions were nice, but the believability for me was somewhat lower. I couldn’t really picture Harry going out to carol for the neighbours. Do you think the Dursleys would have let that happen? I mean, maybe he could have snuck out or something, but I can’ t really think of a good reason why they would let him out. I still liked it very much, though, because weren’t really given detail into Harry’s childhood life and the way he behaved before he went to Hogwarts. So this was a nice…interpretation, for the lack of a better word, of Harry’s younger years. I liked that. Good job with this fic challenge!

Reviewer: joanna
Date: 02/11/06 7:05
Chapter: oneshot

I liked your story, although I cannot imagine the Dursleys let him out caroling, unless Dudley hoped Harry could get some sweets and than he can take them away. ;-) But it was very well written, maybe your description lacked a bit of flow (this happens to me sometimes too ;-() but overall a sweet story.

Reviewer: pandafan81
Date: 12/24/05 0:13
Chapter: oneshot

Very sweet. I like the younger Harry and even though he doesn't like being around a lot of people, caroling to be out of number 4 would be feasable. Good job! Go Hufflepuff!

Reviewer: kumydabookworm
Date: 12/23/05 7:20
Chapter: oneshot

I like it. Different portrayal of younger Harry. I was thinking that both the characters had to be Potter-verse for this challenge, but this works. A few points: vary your diction (word choice) and sentence structure, add a bit of description of the surroundings: what does the kitchen look like to Harry or the house as he walks up. I would also have liked to hear a bit of what Harry was thinking as he walked up to her house, met her etc. The point of view of the story however, is totally up to the author. Very good writing! Good luck!

Author's Response: I felt I should just let you know I was a bit unsatisifed with the lack of surrounding mentions in my own fic, however I found out about this challenge very late and I was trying to get it down by the deadline, which I barely did. Thank you for mentioning sentence structure, that is usually my one major weakness that I sometimes need to work on. Thank you for reviewing.

Reviewer: maddie78
Date: 12/22/05 17:34
Chapter: oneshot

oh my goodness! that was so cute! I loved it. what a cool story idea! I like the idea of harry affecting people not only by saving them from voldemort, but also through just being kind and loving to them. it was wonderful.

Reviewer: Chris_04
Date: 12/22/05 10:51
Chapter: oneshot

That was awesome!! I loved it! But you do know that Alan Jackson didn't write "Silverbells", right? He doesn't own it; he just sang it. But anyhow, this was a great story! Harry was so cute! Well, G2G, -Chris

You must login (register) to review.
Information
Find out everything you need to know about the site right here.


We have stories and authors in this archive.

:

RSS
Choose Theme:
SOCIAL MEDIA
     
MOST RECENT
The Green Knight Rises by Kerichi 6th-7th Years
In Creevey Wizard Comics, the Green Knight aids those in need under the cloak...
Vincent (Inspired by Tim Burton) by Kerichi 6th-7th Years
Vincent Crabbe is eighteen years old. And sadistic. And creepy.
Somebody Like You by Kerichi 6th-7th Years
After tea leaves predict romance for Snape, he makes a sardonic wish on...
FEATURED
Wild Card by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor 6th-7th Years
It was going to happen eventually: Oliver Wood had to retire. But when the decision...
Half-life by welshdevondragon 3rd-5th Years
Neville has the rest of his life ahead of him, but all he can do is look back...
Skinny Love by xxbabewithbrainsxx 6th-7th Years
“I’ve always been chubby. Admit it.” “You’ve never been skinny...
Tigerlily by Maple_and_PheonixFeather 3rd-5th Years
You promised yourself you'd never hurt her, but there are times when you wonder...
Astriferous by Padfoot11333 6th-7th Years
Merope Gaunt has never been celestial.Nominated for a 2014 QSQ - Best Dark/Angst.
CATEGORIES