wow that was so sad and dark, it really showed Ginnys tormoil, poor harry and ginny!
Author's Response: Thanks for reading. :) Glad you liked it.
Okay, that's it. Expect to be sued. My mum just called me a blubbering moron, and I have too much pride to be called that. I hate H/G, but this has to be one of my favourite stories ever. The emotions were so... real! No, more realistic than reality, I'm serious. I, your new biggest fangirl, proclaim you the Queen of Angst. Or you could be Prime Minister if you like. Whatever, I just... am speechless. Brilliant, you are.
Author's Response: Ooooh, Queen of Angst...I like that! But I'm not into politics so Prime Minister just wouldn't do. *gives bunch of flowers to screaming fangirl* There you go, a little reward for being so good this weekend. Thanks for reviewing!
Shivers went down my spine as I read this. There was heart written in this story, so much of it. Maybe one day, mistakes will be forgotten and they will come together once again...maybe some day.
Author's Response: Maybe, maybe, maybe. Maybe I will write a sequel to this! Come to think of it, it's quite a good idea. I will write about their lives after that. If more problems came up, or if they lived happily ever after. Who knows? Thanks for reading and reviewing!
What an appropriately named piece of writing! This really did give me the shivers and you conveyed the feelings of grief, anger and loss, so very well. The structure was very effective, moving smoothly between their points of view and you avoided overloading the reader with too much introspection. Your descriptions of the surroundings were very atmospheric and certainly enhanced the mood.
A couple of lines just tripped me up a little.
Her infatuation towards him was as strong as her loathe That should be loathing, I think.
Ginny’s only breakaway was a desperate one. The word breakaway seemed a little clumsy. I would have preferred, escape or release.
This was a very perceptive observation and made me feel so sad for Harry and the innocence that he has lost. What frightened him the most was that he took loss of life too casual – he did not feel the numb, empty feeling anymore whenever someone he knew died. His heart had felt too much pain to suffer anymore. By the way, I think ‘casual’ should be ‘’casually’.
I liked the way you represent the turmoil in Ginny’s mind – hating herself for loving him, hating him for the power he holds. This line was excellent -- How she resented going to Godric’s Hollow now - if only she possessed control over her body and had the ability to turn back. -- although to be picky again, I think it would have more impact as two separate sentences, rather than divided by the dash.
To sum up, that was excellent – heartbreaking in fact. I must admit the silly old romantic in me resents the fact that you didn’t have them get together at the end, but the critical reader in me accepts that it was far more effective and heartrending the way you had it! Well done.
Author's Response: Thank you so much for reviewing. I tried hard to put myself into their situation, which, I think, is why the final result was so realistic. Thanks for pointing out the mistakes to me! I like receiving constructive criticism... As the time goes by, and authors write more fan fiction, it's getting harder and harder to write something original. So I tried to alter the ending from most of the fics out there. People are all the time seeking something different in stories, so I hope they like mine. ^^
MAN ALIVE! That's so harsh! As it got towards the end, I had a feeling it wasn't going to be a completely happy ending... So well written - really beautiful - to the point that I almost stopped breathing myself. I think it is safe to say that you have high chances of winning this challenge! I have done Challenge 2 and mine is also a sad H/G fic. Good luck! hattiepotter xxx
Author's Response: Thank you so much for reviewing, and I'm glad you liked the fic! I tried really hard to think of a way where the ending wouldn't be a happy one, but the character had to be redeemed at the same time. Thanks to my Beta reader, Insecurities, who gave me that idea! And thank you, for reading it!