I liked it.
Oh My Gosh... This story was SO SAD!!!! I love your Writing, GREAT JOB, Keep it Up!!!!
I like this fic but...It would have been better if you'd have added a bit of backstory of how all those people had died. I love the ending and the bit where you said "He had never felt so empty" after he had killed Voldemort. I would give this fic 8/10 Well done and keep it up!
Warning! Warning! PLEASE read til the end! I might sound harsh… but stick with it. At first, I didn’t think too much of the fic. Then I started reading further and I noticed so many wonderful lines. I think they were a little obscured by some strange paragraph choices, but they are there nonetheless. Also, I noticed you said “advanced forward,” it might be nit pickety of me, but obviously if Harry is advancing he is going forward. Now that I have said the bad things that I noticed let me tell you the good things I noticed (which in my mind outweigh the bad.) “You’ve improved, Potter,” he said coldly. “What can I say? I have people to avenge.” I love this little exchange of sarcasm, it really works! “hazy afternoon with piercing clarity” I think you could have reworded this to make it clearer, I had to read it twice to get that he remembered the hazy afternoon really well. “Just kill me now, Harry.” I feel so bad for Ron. Poor Ron, that’s horrible. “He’d never felt so empty.” How awful, of course he feels empty. Every particle of my being is screaming NO! Harry! You must have something to live for, but he doesn’t. But my favorite part-- “The curtain trembled as though buffeted by high winds—and then fell silent and still.” What an ending! Wow, well done, amazing ending. It made me feel as if his whole life was a play, leading up to this final act and the curtain closes on it with a bittersweet finality. I am sorry if I was harsh at first, but this was really good, I would love to read more of yours later. Happy Writing and Happy Holidays!
Author's Response: Thank you! I like what you said about the curtain closing on Harry's life; I never thought about it that way. Thank you for your recommendations - I'll definitely try to see if I can make certain parts clearer.