That was awfully fast...
Oooh! This is totally awesome! I can't wait to read the rest and I certainly hope Severus isn't really dead...>.>...you characterize all of them really well, also. Ok, I can't take it I have to move onto the next chapter. Will post more coherent reviews later when I'm not in so much suspense to read the rest!
This story was fantastic! I cant wait until u continue this! it was great! passionate, sad, but awesome!Keep up the good work!!!
Oh yeah and i also added u to my favorites!!!
Wow! This is a great story! I like how you are trying to define Severus, why he acts the way he does. I do think that maybe some of the love scenes may be a little out of character, or rushed. I can’t see him sitting down in a situation that is a little uncomfortable in, like in Laurel’s room. Standing with his arms folded in front of him and his hard cold stare seem to be some of his defense mechanisms. This is very well written and I can definitely picture the story and see how maybe there was something between him and Lily that could not be because of his dislike of Mudbloods. Can’t wait to read more of the story as it grows!! 8)
does this play into the rest of the story becuse it was severus's only "love" or because the new prof is muggle born?
Beautiful style of writing.
Can't wait for more.
That was amazing! I love your story. It is so describtive. Again, I love your story. Keep up the good work!
Wow. That's really not something anybody should have to go through, seeing their father kill their mother with a knife. Great story so far. Keep updating please!
Even as a young child Snape had no peace. That's just awful and to lose the only person he cared about.. I can already start to see why he would turn to the dark arts. This makes for a very interesting complication when it comes to Severus' ability to love.
Fabulous. I had to love the staff room incident. I could just picture a little metre above his head that filled slowly up everytime Laurel impressed him. I'm glad you had Laurel burst out laughing when Severus says, '...I find myself able to tolerate you,' because that was my exact reaction. But I agree it was a much better thing for him to blurt out than sappy poetry. I absolutely love this portrayal of Severus so far and Laurel is growing on me too. The kiss was rather sudden, but I don't think it is a problem because it seemed both characters were just as shocked as I was! Anyway, on to the next chapter! *10*
Author's Response: Thank you so much for your kind comments. I have to say again that the exact line you quoted was the initial plot bunny for the entire fiction. It all came to me one night when someone had mentioned that even if Snape did fall in love he would still be a git. That line just came to me then and Lethal Affection evolved from there!
Oh! How interesting. I must admit I never usually sift through Snape/OC fictions but I do love it when an Author can write him so in character. Anyway just had to note that your first chapter has got me very interested and I will likely be adding this to my favourites. Now I will move on to chapter two!
Aww, poor little Sevvy! I wish I could give him a hug.
Author's Response: Thanks! He will need plenty of hugs by story's end. Of the three deaths, this is the one he will feel the LEAST guilt over.
:tears welling up: Wow, I can't imagine what you've got in store for poor Sevvy now! He's only 9, and suddenly has no one who cares about him, and nowhere to go! I applaud you--it takes a great deal to get me anywhere near emotional.
I thought I saw a tiny comma somewhere that I might want to change if I was you, but I guess it wasn't that important because I can't find it again.
Wow...you just make me wanna reach in the monitor and give your little Snape a hug! Waiting with baited breath for more... 10/10
Author's Response: That may be the best compliment I've ever received. I know I get emotional, but as my better half can easily tell you, I can cry at the drop of a hat. I really appreciate you checking up on my version of Severus. He's such a wonderfuly complex man and I'm glad I'm not the only one who is fascinated by him!
Yeah! Another chappie!
Ah, the delightful encounter in the staffroom--what a wonderful way to have Sevvy find out that that "ditzy" new potions witch is way more accomplished that he realizes!
Snape the literature buff is very in-character and believable, and I was laughing out loud about the autographed Harry Potter biography by Rita Skeeter, as well as Snape's reaction to Laurel seeing it there on his shelf!
Two tiny things that if I was you, I might change:
She gave him another of her taunting, almost coquettish, smiles. I might lose the second comma there.
Irate at himself for even wondering such a thing, Perhaps a better word there would be "with", not "at"...?
The closing scene was very well-written, but I must admit it felt a tad rushed to me. I see Severus as having his emotions under very tight reign, and if it were me, I might have postponed the kiss for another chappie or so :)
Also, when I think of a "husky" voice on a guy, I think of it in terms of, well, a more intimate situation--maybe that's the main reason I'm feeling that the kiss was rushed: it wasn't just a kiss, it was a kiss with a husky voice afterwards! :)
This fic is very different in that we're reading from Snape's POV rather than Laurel's--I'd imagine it's harder to write that way, but certainly a nice twist.
Overall, beautiful work--gimme more!!
Author's Response: Thanks! I changed those two minor editing suggestions you made, thanks for pointing them out! Also, at one point, I had edited the chapter, but apparently those changes didn't stick. I don't always do so well with technology. As far as the kiss being rushed, I was torn with that. The kiss caught Snape off guard just as much as the reader; as you said, he's not usually one to go around with his emotions on his sleeve. I wanted to have him be surprised with it as well, but you are right, so now I will have to think about that husky part. Hmm... Thanks so much for your encouragement!
I just sat there for several minutes thinking what to type. This chapter was bloody brilliant, even though I'm usually not one for Snape romances!
Author's Response: Thanks so much! I really enjoyed writing that chapter so I'm so glad you liked it. The scene where they are in Snape's room with the books was initial plot bunny! The entire fiction evolved from this. Thanks for the encouragement.
Hey! Took me a while to get to this, but I'm glad I did. It really was as good as the excerpt made it seem, and more!
Author's Response: Thanks! I'm so glad you liked it. I appreciate you taking the time to read it!
Hey, this is gonna get interesting! I love Snape/OC fics, especially where the OC isn't going to be mere putty in his hands. How fitting and in-character that you've already established Snape's jealousy and suspicion of the male students, before he himself even realizes it for what it is! And of course, his assuredness that she'll be crawling to him for potions help is very Snape-ish. Well written, believable, and intriguing...looking forward to more!
Author's Response: Thanks so much! I love Snape/OC fics too, or at least I did until I started writing one. Laurel's my girl, and now I have this weird jealousy toward Maeve... :-) I'm trying to keep Snape as in character as possible, because that's the way I love him!
this is a good story, i can tell i'm going to like this. but now i'm going to have to wait for an update :( anyway, 10/10
Author's Response: Thank you! Yes, those pesky holidays. :-) Oh well, that'll give me a chance to really get some more written. Snape is being a little disagreeable right now (go figure) but if he doesn't start to behave, no Christmas presents for him!
I liked how you had Snape almost jealous of the new Potions teacher even though he now had the teaching position that he had always wanted. It almost seemed for a moment that he liked her until he wished that she would have to come to him for help as if he was sure she was imconfident.
Author's Response: Thank you so much! Yeah, Snape got his dream job, but he's still going to think no one can ever be as good a potion teacher as him. Laurel is going to give him lots of conflicting thoughts in the chapters to come.