ha ha haa ha ha. that is exactly what i did at the end fo the story. exactly like that. brilliant. I loved it. and i love you. and marshmellows. now don't you feel special? 10/10
Hilarious! This made me laugh so hard! It reminded me of "The Wish List" by Eoin Colfer. Snape in heaven, heh. I can just see him... wherever did you get the idea for this fic? I give it a nine, and I'm normally fairly strict.
*Sniggers at this little piece of Snape heaven* Well, this is certainly something in the face of all those who *try* and kill off my favourite character. I loved it! I study heaven and hell concepts in my A-levels and we’re always making jokes about Peter at the gates of Heaven and who he would and would not permit. The fact he permits Snape, and yet Snape finds just about everything to grumble about is hilarious – and very typically Snape. You would think he’d be grateful for a bit of peace? But the idea of him being surrounded by people “too tedious to talk to” in heaven is quite an accurate picture of him. I’ve always believed that heaven would be boring – too peaceful, serene and calm for my liking – and you’ve made it the case that Snape can find nothing to satisfy his brilliant intellect.
Like Lunafish, I also loved your portrayal of the administrative staff at heaven. I get the sense that they have witnessed it all before: wars, murder, evil dictators trying to take over the world, to the point where Voldemort’s tyranny just becomes a mere inconvenience for them. A little bit of overtime. I especially liked this line: “Please don’t antagonise him. He’s in a foul mood. You have no idea the paperwork he has to do. Having that war just increased it; so don’t expect him to be grateful.” It reminds me of when I have something very important to get done at school but the snarky receptionists think that their form-filling activities and paper-clipping is more important than something that could dictate which university I go to. Sorry, just one of my random analogies.
A couple quibbles, but I won’t linger on them too long seeing as it is Christmas:
Severus Snape was in a filthy mood. ‘If this was all he got for turning spy, perhaps he should not have bothered. Merlin’s teeth, they took their time. If…’
Seeing as you have put this part in italics it would make more sense to also put it in first person, therefore making it Snape’s actual thoughts.
“Where’s the white hair then? I believe you should have white hair and a long white beard.” Leaning forward, he sneered, saying, “This is supposed to be my concept.”
I like the idea of Snape being arrogant and demanding, even to St. Peter, it shows he has little regard for anyone but himself. However, he isn’t the type of person, in my opinion, to fuss over such a small detail like “white hard and a long white beard.” I do agree that he has reasons to complain about pink clouds later on, but here he’d being very petty minded and whilst Snape can be cantankerous he doesn’t dwell on such trivial matters.
This story was certainly a different spin on the HP world and from such a different perspective. You have successfully satirised the biggest tragedy for our beloved characters, and made it look quite pathetic in light of all the events throughout history.
Well done! I will have a snoop around for your other Snape stories.
I know I’ve read this before, and I’m surprised I didn’t leave a review because it really speaks to my bizarre sense of humor! Yes, this story is so oddly appealing. I really like the idea of Snape in heaven rather than the place most people want to put him…. ;) though he basically ends up hell anyway, doesn’t he? The story also reminds me of the end of a couple of my favorite books, Robert Heinlein’s Stranger in a Strange Land and Job: A Comedy of Justice in that you take a slightly irreverent approach to the afterlife, making it a bit more humorous than people are generally willing to allow. I think it works particularly well with Snape because he often seems to have NO sense of humor. Hope he gains one before too much of eternity passes.
I also like the amusing, but realistic look at the world of the public servant you give in these lines: “There had been more work recently due to that stupid war the wizards were having. Thank goodness it was nearly over and he could get some relative peace and quiet again.” How ironic that, while the rest of us are so worried about Harry and co. surviving in their battle against ultimate evil, the administrative staff of heaven just wants the war to get over with so they can get back to their normal routine—LOL! And what language from heaven’s citizens!: “What are you waiting for? Hell to freeze over? Go and get him. I’ll give him patience,” ordered Peter, grumpily. “And stop messing with that infernal belt.”
Well, I’d like to offer some suggestions for improvement, but the story works just beautifully as is. Therefore, I’ll save the con-crit for someone who needs it! Excellent story!