AWWWW! Hehe. Pretty.
Well done- I think you really did get better as the story moved on. Have you thought about doing anything else?
OXO
*BIG SMILE*
Hehe. Nice.
"Giglia finito" Tee hee. Tee hee hee. That's funny. Tee hee.
:D Nicely done!
"“I’m sorry, your owl has just been intercepted. Please call him back and try again."' HAHAHAHA! Love it!
There are a few too many Americanisms, but those don't necessarily matter.
And I can't believe James let her actually fall! Pathetic. ;D
"Duck!" Again, great.
Thanks for the shout out.
Oooooh.... I was even more in love with James after listening to that first speech. Sigh.
Oh dear James. What a goofball. ;D
Oh dear Lily. I wouldn't trust Sirius with such a secret. Sigh. Silly Lily.
But I do like that dynamic- the idea that Lily can't let James have her... Nicely done. ;D
Oh, you really gave McG a great personality- like, I totally believe that it's her!
Oh, random little note: the formatting on this chapter is skewed: there are too many spaces between lines- stupid formatting. It's not too difficult to read, but if you ever feel like it.... ;D
EVA! Hi. ;D
I just did some minor editing over on my story, and I needed something good to read. ;D
So I came over to your story.
I think it moves a bit fast; the second half of the chapter- the breakfast part- when does it take place? It is the next day, or....months later, like you wrote in the first line. Whoops. Totally didn't see that. *facepalm* Well, then it make sense.
I think, if you ever wanted to get back into writing, story you could definitely flesh it out a bit more. But it is still a good chapter. ;D
Miss talking to ya.
Heyyyy loved the story, im sure everyones picked up on this but jst a slight bit of constructive criticism - im pretty sure james played chaser in the books, seeker in the film, but an amazing story, so good iv read it twice!!
:) keep up the great work!
xxx
yay! they finally kissed! but james is a chaser, not a seeker.
im getting a little confused with all of lily's friends, but good chapter all the same!
i dont think that dumbledore would be mad that remus told his friends he's a werewolf.
wouldnt remus remember if it was a full moon?
umm... good chapter! although i dont think that any of james's friends would make the "he's crazy" sign.
thats so sweet that lily's parents dance every christmas!
hmm... i always thought that lily would be in denial abotu likeing james, but it works. good story so far!
Ok, I take back what I said after chapter 1. You managed to weave a pretty good story out of a skeptical beginning. That takes talent!
NONONONONO!!!!! THAT IS SO UNREASONABLE! HONESTLY, LILY WOULD NEVER DO THAT! SHE HAS PRIDE, YOU KNOW! JEEZ, HOW ON EARTH DO YOU MAKE THIS GO ON FOR 8 STINKIN CHAPTERS?!
HEHEHEHEHEHEHE!!!
THEY WERE STILL DANCING!!
I BET EVERYONE HEARD THEM!!!!
LOL
