Thank you someone is finally showing Peter as a decent human, no matter how despicable of a traitor he turns out to be it shows that he was not always dark, and I love the way you do it.
Author's Response: Thanks a lot, and that's a nice compliment :) I also got tired of those stories in which he was a nasty traitor/a bad loser at the age of eleven.
This story looks very promising! I'm going to continue reading it, but well done for such an enjoyable starting chapter! :)
Author's Response: Thanks! I hope you like the rest of the story.
HEEEEYYYY you won best marauders story . . .not that i'm suprised, but i just though i'd say congratulations!!!!
Author's Response: Thank you!! I couldn't believe my own eyes when I saw that... I'm so overexcited that I could sing! :D
I luv the plot!!!I totally cant wait for da next chapt! keep it up!and PLEASE update soon! i actually live off this stuf! its my sustenance till da next reel hp book!(OH NO wonder wht ill do wen the books r finished!!!! ill just hv 2 keep reading alll da awesum fanfics i gess!)
Author's Response: Thanks, I'm glad you like the story! :D Unfortunately, as I'm starting university next week, I might not be able to update before quite a long time. I'll try, though.
intresting start to the 2 year cant wait for more
Author's Response: Thanks for the review!
Wow. That was really amazing. It was very exciting and very touching. I can't believe that English isn't your first language because you write brilliantly in it. Well now I'm going to keep reading the rest that you've written.
Author's Response: Thanks, I'm happy you liked it. I hope you like the rest :).
Tinn Tam! Well, I must say, I enjoyed this chapter a lot more than the last. Despite the fact that the Marauders were together at James’s, it’s a relief to see them heading back to Hogwarts together. It’s strange, how different the atmosphere is when the characters are actually at school compared to when they aren’t.
First off, Snape is a complete git in this chapter. Congratulations, you wrote him well yet again! I find it kind of ironic that both Harry and James got stamped on the face by a Slytherin prat on their way to Hogwarts. It’s a nice, if not slightly bloody, comparison to the father and son. I love it when Snape says, ‘“What a scathing answer,” in response to James’s insult. It’s such a Snape-worthy response.
One of my favourite parts in this chapter is the bathroom scene. Yes, it’s a rather long scene with different aspects to it – but I just love it. I’m not too sure about how Lily was behaving towards James, just because she seemed a bit too eager to help him out after what he had done to her in the past, but I suppose that mass amounts of blood can change a person momentarily.
And now for a couple of nit-picks, simply because: “And you could faint for the loss of blood,” added Peter. I liked this part, but you have a bit of a typo going on; ‘for’ should really be ‘from’. Also, “I’m not staying here getting bored while the pair of you is having fun.” doesn’t make sense, as ‘you’ should probably be changed to something like ‘are’. Other than that, and my little miff with Lily’s characterization, there wasn’t much to point out that hadn’t already been pointed out. You have very strong writing, and it seems to me that your main source of typos has a lot to do with translation.
Things that made me squee: James opened his other eye. “M’ not a firs’ year,” he mumbled thickly. “Secon’ year.” I simply love this little bit, just because it made me laugh. After all, how dare the prefect call him a first year when he is so obviously a second year? Even through his semi-unconsciousness he has the sense to correct her. Good job, James! I also really loved the line, He had undeniably felt better. Even though it’s just a small sentence in a big chapter, it really stood out to me as in-character. Plus, you’ve got to love the bringing up of the obvious. Poor Prongs.
It’s hard not to just quote the entire chapter, because I loved so many different parts and everyone is always so blissfully in-character. But I suppose I will have to stop now, even though I’ve only quoted two parts, because I’m afraid that if I do any more I will never stop. Let me just say that I cannot wait for the next chapter, and then allow me to apologize for how unoriginal that sounds. In any case, terrific job, dear!
Author's Response: Hey, I've been waiting for your review! :)
I see what you mean about the atmosphere when the boys are home and when they're out of school. That's how I've always felt when reading the actual books (and that's why OotP felt a bit too long for my taste: they spend ages in Sirius' house before they actually come back to Hogwarts).The bathroom scene: I liked writing it as well ;). About Lily's characterisation, I'm glad you pointed out she seemed a little too eager to help James out. That's actually what James thought, too. But 12-year-old girls tend to be very romantic--and taking care of a hero wounded and losing blood is a very romantic thing to do, especially when she just did her best to look more attractive (though she spectacularly failed!). As for James, he understandably didn't feel romantic at all :).
I don't know about the "for/from" thing... My beta didn't see it... As for "the pair of you", I hesitated; in French, there are similar liguistic constructions where it would be correct to make the verb agree either with 'pair', which is singular, or 'you', which is plural. Again, it escaped my Beta, so I thought it was okay.Thanks a lot for the review, very nice and long, as usual! Next chapter should wait a bit, I'm afraid, since a)I'm suffering from a bad case of writer's block, b)I'm nonetheless trying to get chapter8 of "The Song of the Trees" ready, and c)my family's watching me closely, and I don't want them to think I am COMPLETELY nuts about Harry Potter :D
Author's Response: "when the boys are at home and when they're... AT SCHOOL!" That must be my most idiotic typo so far!
When I first read this chapter, it didn't seem right that James would follow Remus through the Whomping Willow. But on second read, it seems to make more sense. What I like is how you bring out the the trio's empathetic nature which allows them see Remus as more than just a dangerous werewolf. (Sirius' first thought what it was like to be bitten by a werewolf as a child, James realizing there is nothing he can do for Remus when he bites himself, and Peter the one most likely to be afraid, very understanding that bad things happen all the time)
Author's Response: I'm glad the chapter finally did make sense!... The scene where James follows Remus in the passageway was planned even before I started to write the story, but I had a little trouble bringing that scene... WHY would James follow Remus? I decided to do something simple -- out of curiosity. I wasn't sure it would work, but ah... I didn't get many complaints, so I guess it's okay.
About the trio's empathy, it didn't go all smoothly, did it?... James nearly ran for his life; and actually, he's the only one who truly realises the full impact of Remus' condition. The other two are vaguely afraid of the concept, but they didn't have to listen to Remus thumping and howling. I thought it was more realistic that way!Thank you for your review!
I absolutely love your story! I really like that you don't rush through it. Too many authors hurry through things like the sorting, like they are rushing to a later part. Thanks for taking your time to write it well. I also like that they still like Peter. Glad you don't already make him evil or on the sideline-stay true to the story instead! He was obviously a friend of James and Sirius and Remus, despite what we find out later. I like all the details and personality you add. I am really enjoying it-keep it up!
Author's Response: Thanks you very much! I'm sometimes expecting readers to tell me to hurry up with the story... but if you're glad I don't rush through it, then it's great. I don't like botching things up. About Peter, I'm considering founding a society Wormtail Wasn't Born Evil or something of the sort... Thanks again for your kind review.
Wow, that was awesome. I really hope the Marauders will plan a sweet revenge on Snape for what he did to James. Lily's messing up with dying her hair was so funny, although James should have told her.
I can't wait for the next chapter. This story is getting better and better!
Author's Response: Yes, James should have told her... but he thought it would be so funny to let her walk around with her green hair... Try to make a twelve-year-old boy understand how important the hairdo is in a girl's life ;).
Thanks for the nice review!
Whoops!! hehe sorry i messed up . . . .this was ur 1st story wasn't it . . .well i still love it!!!
Author's Response: Yeah, it was the first one... my baby... born when I was still very uncomfortable at writing in English! :D
I've finally read ur second story!!! and i must say it is brilliant!!!!!! i love how you switch point of views so we know how everyone is feeling . . .except maybe snivelly, though we don't really care about that git too much now do we(at least i don't haha)? Well that's pretty much it . . . oh yea AND . . .please update sooooooooooon!!!!!!
P.S.-i looooooooove little sirius hee hee :)
Author's Response: Tired of waiting for "The Song of the Trees" to be updated? :) Chap.7 is up now, in case you want to take a look at it. I'm very happy you love this story too, despite the fact it's so different from "The Song...". And I'm happy to find another HP fan who doesn't care if Snape gets entangled in his robes (*smirks*). I'll try to update soon! Thanks for the review!
Author's Response: Thanks!
No one ever bothers to ask Peter do they?
" it should give you a fillip… Morrington–" Fillip? I don't know what you intended to say so I can't actually attempt to tell you what to do. :) Then "running towards a great black diligence" Diligence? If that is a type of carriage then I've never heard of it. I can only assume that you were thinking about something else and put in the wrong word. That's the problem with spell check, if it's the wrong word spelled correctly, it doesn't tell you.
Poor Lily. Very exciting little bit at the end. All up to your usual high standards of good reading. Lucius's remarks to Severus were a really nice touch, adding that little bit of food for deeper thought you do so well (and I like so much).
Author's Response: Thanks! :)
"Fillip" and "diligence"... blame my dictionary. I'll have to check that back in the OTHER dictionary, the one that weighs two tons and is hidden somewhere under my bed. I'm glad you liked the end. Thanks for another nice review... I'm always eagerly waiting for yours!
I love this series and this is a great addition. i cant wait for more
Author's Response: Thanks, I hope I'll be able to write more soon...
Wow - the description of Lily's botched hair-dye job reminded me of Anne of Green Gables the moment I read it (I loved those books), but only after reading the response below do I realise that you were inspired by it - excellent job! Terribly cruel of the mirror though, not showing her the truth - how awful would that be, if mirrors played such tricks? Again, I absolutely loved this chapter - Peter was so well portrayed, in that he means well (at this age), but irritates his friends by being unsure of himself. As for Snape, I like how you presented him as being the perpetrator- too often he's always seen as the victim, so it's nice to see it as a two-way thing, and it was written really well because I also felt angry and annoyed at dear Severus. When Lucius stopped him, though, I expected that it had something to do with blood-purity - is that still the case, underneath Lucius' words? And I loved the "little first year" line - great to see that the Maruaders do not yet dominate the school!
Author's Response: Seems we have the same books at home... I loved them too, though I only read the French translation. Thanks for your comments about Peter, I totally agree with you :). And I'm often annoyed at Snape-the-innocent-victim as well!... And no, Lucius' intervention had nothing to do with purity of blood; it was rather moticated by his concern about seeing one of his protégés risking to be blamed, and thus tarnishing his own prestige...
And I'm very happy you mentioned the "little first-year" line -- because I wrote it with this exact purpose: show they aren't THE Hogwarts mischief masters. Yet :)Thanks for another nice and long review!!
ooh yay! I must say tho... I have had some horrible reactions with my hair experiments.... but never green! The worst was the time i tried to do highlights (i refuse to pay 50 bucks for professional when i can buy the kit at walmart and get my mother to do it) and ended up dying all of my hair orange!! My hair now is ok, i had neon red streaks, my glory! I loved them, but after a few days, DAYS, they faded to blonde streaks! neon red to blonde? idk, but now i've got about an inch of black roots (my hair is naturally black) so tomorrow i'm dying my hair the normalest color ever...auburn. I should have been redheaded ithink, because im pale, freckled, and have green eyes. But i got black hair? oh well.
atlest i didn't get green!
Author's Response: Awww, freckles and green eyes but black hair? Lily would KILL you if she knew. I've never dyed my hair myself, though it's of a totally uninteresting shade of light brown, but I took the idea from Lucy Montgomery's series, "Anne" (not 100% sure about the author's name). Anne Shirley is an eleven years old in the first book, with red hair, and she tries to dye her hair black... and ends up with greenish hair. At least she realised her mistake and didn't walk around with her green head for everyone to see!... Poor Lily...
Have fun with your hair :D and thanks for the review!
Stayed up till 12 reading this. Awesome!!! Can't wait for the next chapter!
Author's Response: Have a nice lie-in tomorrow morning! :) Thanks for the review.
Yayy! First to review this chapter!
First of all, I'd like to say: good job! I think this story is really great, keep up the good work.
I also like the way Sirius is so attached to James. It kind of foreshadows their closeness in their later Hogwarts years (:
Keep writing, you're really good!
Author's Response: Thanks! One of the things I like best in Marauders stories is James and Sirius' close friendship. I'm glad you liked the few lines in the train, about Sirius wanting to wait for James. Kids do that a lot, right? Waiting for each other... even later, they do that.
Thanks for the review!
Ah, piano scales... I know James' plight too well! I really loved the last few chapters - I thought the descriptions of the house and James' lifestyle, and how it compares to those of Remus, were written excellently. And I really love your Mrs Potter- she seems so nice and encouraging, and you've portrayed the relationship she has with her son very convincingly. I often think it's difficult to combine the fact that James is rather spoiled with the fact that he is a good person, but you've done it really well. Your writing is sublime, as usual, and I look forward to more of it, particularly from this fic, but they're all great! Oh, and I loved the addition of Sirius' little brother - it was original and it brought him into the picture (usually he's completely left in the background)... anyway, I love it!
Author's Response: I loved your review! :D Honestly, so many nice things in one review... I loved writing Mrs. Potter too, and her relationship with James; I have a few exemples among my cousins of spoiled kids, but very nice nonetheless -- it helped :). Thanks again for the lengthy review!