what a very sweet and touching story! I would love to read more about Adele and Cho!
Author's Response: Thank you very much. Adele was an interesting character, and one of these days I might bring her out again for something.
This is a fabulous little tale. Original, inventive and witty. Kepp writing!
Author's Response: Thanks! ^^
oh soooooo cute!
Author's Response: Glad you liked it!
Even though Christmas was nearly two months ago this story brought me some late Christmas spirit. The snow at the beginning transported me right back in time and made me feel as if it was still December. The atmosphere you created was very nice and I like the contrast between Adeleís inner turmoil and the quietness of the village, very nice.
Adeleís thoughts are very well done, just jumping from one occasion to the next without system, thatís how I think as well, totally random. I like how you managed to insert her into the first war without forcing it. The way she talked to Cho was sweet, without seeming to be too much of a change. The change back at the end after talking to Mrs Chang was nicely done as well.
I usually donít like Cho at all, but the younger version you portrayed wasnít too bad. At times she sounded a bit too grown-up for my tastes, but other than that she was a genuine 8-year old.
You had one line in there that didnít make any sense to me: Even through school they were close, and though Adele was two years older, they were both in Ravenclaw. This sounds as if their age difference had anything to do with the houses they are in. I got confused there for a second, rephrasing it should do the trick though.
I love your writing style, it just makes everything you write flow effortlessly. Very nice story!
Author's Response: *pets LadyAlesha* Aw, you're always so good to me! ^___^ And only two criticisms! Wow! I'll see what I can do about that line you mentioned. I already know that she sounds a little too old at points, but occasionally it was necessary to make the story go where I needed it to. I hope it didn't ruin the mood too much for you.
A really different and enjoyable story. I liked the way you did it post-Voldemort but pre-Hogwarts - a time we know very little about. I was very impressed with your style of writing. Well done!
Author's Response: Thank you! That's a good thing to hear, especially for a contest submission. ^_^