MuggleNet Fan Fiction
Harry Potter stories written by fans!

Name: fetherblaka (Signed) · Date: 08/06/07 1:53 · For: A Clever Plan
nice! especialy the last sentence, nice touch!

Author's Response: Hehe thank you!

Name: Lily_Girl (Signed) · Date: 08/04/07 21:59 · For: Make-ups and Break-ups
UPDATE SOON! I am hooked

Author's Response: Good, I'm glad! Keep fingers crossed for validation...

Name: chochang_katieleung (Signed) · Date: 08/02/07 0:16 · For: Make-ups and Break-ups
its really really good, cnt w8 till the nxt chapter comes up plz update!!!

Author's Response: Thanks, next chapter is awaiting validation :)

Name: Ginny_N_Harry (Signed) · Date: 07/18/07 11:59 · For: Make-ups and Break-ups
hey just so u know this story is great and i love lilys friends u made them so awesomely. i cant wait till u update so plesse do it soon before i have a heart attack

Author's Response: Triple.

Name: Ginny_N_Harry (Signed) · Date: 07/18/07 11:59 · For: Make-ups and Break-ups
hey just so u know this story is great and i love lilys friends u made them so awesomely. i cant wait till u update so plesse do it soon before i have a heart attack

Author's Response: Double.

Name: Ginny_N_Harry (Signed) · Date: 07/18/07 11:59 · For: Make-ups and Break-ups
hey just so u know this story is great and i love lilys friends u made them so awesomely. i cant wait till u update so plesse do it soon before i have a geart attack

Author's Response: Thanks, I'm really glad you like them :) hope your heart is okay - I'm just waiting for validation on the next chapter :P

Name: ILuvSirius01 (Signed) · Date: 07/04/07 4:03 · For: Strange Feelings
Lily and Jamie sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G! She likes him! He likes her back!

Author's Response: I know - isn't it great! hehe thanks for the review.

Name: stephens6 (Signed) · Date: 06/22/07 15:52 · For: Make-ups and Break-ups
love the story the best ive read so for!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Author's Response: Ah thank you, that's always nice to hear!

Name: jojo_dolphin2394 (Signed) · Date: 06/01/07 5:16 · For: Make-ups and Break-ups
Awwww... I like the ball, and thank god Carmen broke up with the idiot Greg. But poor Lily, Snape's plan didn't go to plan, and now she's ill! Update soon. Oh yeah! I really like it!

Author's Response: He was an idiot, hopefully the next chapter will be validated! Thank you.

Name: Pixie Flite (Signed) · Date: 05/20/07 13:05 · For: Make-ups and Break-ups

Author's Response: Haha, though it may not be what it seems...Thanks for your review!

Name: marijnemijn (Signed) · Date: 05/04/07 13:58 · For: Make-ups and Break-ups
luvin it!!!

Author's Response: I have FINALLY, thank you!

Name: i love prongs (Signed) · Date: 04/22/07 1:12 · For: Make-ups and Break-ups
oh no ! poor lily update soon ! chelsea

Author's Response: hehe I'll try :) Thanks for the review.

Name: binteridhwan (Signed) · Date: 04/06/07 17:28 · For: Make-ups and Break-ups
update, update, UPDATE!!!!! its been practically a year!!!! pleaassseee UPDATE!!!!

Author's Response: *laughs* a year?! Hopefully I haven't been that long! *begins to look worried* I'm so sorry I've been so long updating, I've had lots of trouble with this chapter (Why does it always happen to me?!?) so a may be a little while still. I hope I still have some readers left!

Name: joybelle423 (Signed) · Date: 02/04/07 18:01 · For: Strange Feelings
Aw! That was so cute! I love a good James/Lily story. I have to admit, I was a little worried that this would be cliche, but you took care of that pretty well. After all, it's been a while since the end of fifth year, and I can totally see James getting gorgeous over the summer! You did a great job showing their nervousness, both for Lily and for James. I enjoyed Lily's internal arguments -- I do that all the time! And James thoughts are fun, too.

I can totally see Sarah falling for Dominic (great name, by the way!). I'm glad you've found an OC for Lily's friends!

The dialogue is great, very believable. Well done! I can't wait to read more!

Author's Response: Thank you! I really didn't want this story to be a cliché, so I'm so glad that you don't think it is. I'm glad you can't wait! :D

Name: GreyLady (Signed) · Date: 02/03/07 23:41 · For: Strange Feelings
Hi Caroline!

You have a nice first chapter here. I was a little apprehensive when her best friends were mentioned in the very first sentence, because Lily’s best friends in fanfic are usually Mary-Sues, but Carmen and Sarah seem normal enough, as well as funny. Carmen’s fearless, bright attitude is quite fun. =) The interactions between James and Lily were really cute too. I liked the internal argument she had!

Boarding the Hogwarts Express is a logical enough place to being a fic. However, starting a story with boarding the train is a little clichéd, as are many aspects of this story, like Lily being Head Girl. Try to be inventive with your storyline, and even the details of your fic; it’ll draw even more readers.

Also, you’ll reap the benefits if you expand on description and the feelings of the characters. For example, you just sort of throw the reader into the story, instead of maybe easing them in with a description of the scene or the thoughts of one of the characters. It would have been nice if you had shown Lily’s or her parent’s reaction to her leaving as well, even if it’s a small one, to give the story more depth.

As you continue writing, try to remember that Lily is sixteen or seventeen years old and has been denying James for years. I noticed that she was a little OOC and immature. I think that at first she would be resistant to his new charms, suppressing even the thoughts, and not blushing so easily. She’s made of stronger stuff than that. ;)

That said, this is a decent bit of writing; I didn’t notice any grammatical errors. Good luck on future chapters!

Knight of the Turnip Table

P.S: Cool penname. =)

Author's Response: Hi! Thank you very much for your detailed review :D I shall definitely take your comments into account and thanks for all the good stuff you wrote too :P ps. I like your penname too :D

Name: mugglegrl10110 (Signed) · Date: 01/11/07 22:59 · For: Make-ups and Break-ups

Author's Response: ok!

Name: Arnold The Pygmy (Signed) · Date: 01/09/07 12:24 · For: Make-ups and Break-ups
PLEASE update soon!! Today, tomorrow, right now?
Don't wait too long, ok??
I have to know what will happen to Lily! And Snape > <

Well, some criticism: James is sometime a bit too nervous and unsure in Lily's precens.... He's supposed to be more selvconfident, aren't he? ?

And, I liked the fluff and the cuddle on the couch : ) it's sweet!

Keep up the good work and don't let us wait too long!

Author's Response: Ha ha lol not that soon! Yeah, I wanted to show that he's changed from his old egotistical self, and that Lily's not just any girl he goes out with - he really, really likes her. And the fact that she's finally come round and likes him back, is new and a little unnerving for him. Glad you liked it and I'll really try not to leave you waiting too long! :)

Name: jennifer_Gryffindor (Signed) · Date: 01/05/07 20:58 · For: Make-ups and Break-ups
please tell me thats not the last chapter i`ll die if it is the suspense will kill me!!!!!

Author's Response: Lol no that is not the last chapter!

Name: jennifer_Gryffindor (Signed) · Date: 01/05/07 19:36 · For: A Clever Plan
i love it its awsome i like how james and lily are not kissing in the second chapter its really good for your first fic, infact its the best one i`ve ever read. :-D

Author's Response: Wow thanks so much!

Name: Chickimonkey (Signed) · Date: 01/01/07 20:04 · For: Make-ups and Break-ups
Yay for Carmen! Evil Snape >:(

Author's Response: lol yes I know! >:( thanks for the review.

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