Sup my peaps... he he, that was utterly amazing , I mean bloody hell. oh la la... what will happen, dun dun dun the plot thickens . james and lily lily james, ya ya, ya ya. sarah and dom dom and sarah... aaaaahhhhhh that was a wonderfull song was i not. please update or I will keep going on like this. I shall shut up. 1111100000/1111100000 later my peaps!!!!!!!!!!! that was ssssooooo random.*****
Author's Response: Thanks a lot! - and yes it was random!
Sup my peaps... he he, that was utterly amazing , I mean bloody hell. oh la la... what will happen, dun dun dun the plot thickens . james and lily lily james, ya ya, ya ya. sarah and dom dom and sarah... aaaaahhhhhh that was a wonderfull song was i not. please update or I will keep going on like this. I shall shut up. 1111100000/1111100000 later my peaps!!!!!!!!!!!
Author's Response: Thanks - I'm really glad you like it!
Aww...that was sweet. I like the name "Dominic". Very cute. Hehe. I think maybe the romance between James and Lily moved a tad bit too quick, but oh well. Oh, I noticed that the summary says that James and Lily go on their first date...um...They didn't go on a date...good story though!
Author's Response: Ta, I realise now that it moved on a little quickly, but can't really improve it now...thank you for telling me - I didn't realise I had written that in the wrong summery!
That is so good! I loved it! I loved how James was shy when he asked Lily to Hogmeade. That was cute. And, I loved the mistletoe. Update soon!
Author's Response: Thanks so much! the next should be arriving soon
awwe that was so cute! Sarah and Dom should deffinitly be together!! But who does Carmen like?!?!? update sooooooon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im dieing here!
Author's Response: haha all will be revealed! The next chapter is in queue...
oh hooray, i love james and lily...they are so cute together....and sarah, so bold and daring.....and awwww, just great chapter, update soon, okay.
Author's Response: Thanks for the review! I will adding the fifth chapter soon :)
Awwwwww. so sweet! very good fic! update soon!
Author's Response: :) the next chapter's in queue. thanks
Aww so sweet! This story is awesome! Please update soon, I really love this story!
Author's Response: yay thanks - im really glad you like it!
omggg!!!!!!! I love this story! vari cute! Keep writin
Author's Response: I'm glad you love it! I will
ohhhh!! I love this story!! Its so....CUTE!! Please update soon!!! And I'm giving you a 1000000/10
Author's Response: That's so sweet of you! Thanks
Oh I really like this story. You did a great job. One thing though; how can Dom be Carmens "older twin brother"? Just a typo. Keep up the great work!
Author's Response: Thanks - Dom is her twin brother, but he's the older twin.
Sweet! I enjoyed this chapter. But it wasn't really much of a surprise to the reader. We all knew what was going to happen. That's the hard thing about James/Lilly fics. We all know they're going to get together so the writer needs to be able to keep the reader's interest by being creative and coming up with plot twists and interesting dilemmas for the characters. I hope that this won't be the end of the story. I'd love to see your ideas for the rest of the story. Try and work on developing a plot other than getting Lilly and James romanticly involved. Overall, good job.
Author's Response: Thanks for the tip, I felt that my story was getting a bit familier, so the later chapters have more twists...
Cute. I noticed that you have been getting that a lot but it was. It was better than many of the others I have read. I think that you had a really good mix of detail and description and dialogue. Good job on that. That is one of my biggest pet peeves and you did great with it. I do admit that the crush Lilly develops on James is rather abrupt. Maybe you should have said something more about her former loathing of him and then eased her more into the crush. I don't know if that even makes sense but yeah. It was a very quick change of heart. And James doesn't seem to have much of a personality. Maybe it will come in later chapters though. I look foward to reading more! Good job!!
Author's Response: Thanks! Don't worry - Lily does have doubts, and James' personalityshines out later on in the chapters - keep the faith!
Wow, I love it... its really great! Their friends are so sweet! Update soon! 10!
Author's Response: Thank you!
That was so good! I love your story. Every chapter seems to get better! I loved what their friends did for them, it was so sweet! Update soon!
Author's Response: Thanks so much! The next chapter is in queue.
That was great! You've really wrote this chapter well! Please update soon, I'm itching to know what will happen next
Author's Response: Thank you - the next chapter is in queue!
that was really cute! awwwww, friends are so great when they do cool stuff like that.....anyway, definitley update soon!
Author's Response: Cheers! yeah I know! hehe thanks!
Wow, I love this story. I feel like shouting it out to the world. I agree, James and Lily should have a moment. A nice beautiful moment. Yippee. The choking part was hilarious. Loving it so much so update soon! You are brilliant. And I truly mean that!!!!! 10000!!!! Wo, I'm suddenly so happy after reading this!
Author's Response: Heh heh thanks so much! The third chapter should be validated soon! Thanks again! :D
I loved that chapter! Poor James. Haha, the bit where Sarah started choking on her drink was halarious! Hmm, I wonder what that good thing could be. Maybe James and Lily will have a bit of a moment *looks hopeful* Can't wait for the next chapter!
Author's Response: :D thanks - heh heh! You'll have to wait and see...:)
I have to admit -- your fic made me smile. It was a very good way to begin your fiction, though it did seem a bit familiar [for lack of a better word]. I really hope that this doesn't turn out to be like many other L/J fics, as I enjoyed it quite a lot. The first line drew me in -- I could picture Lily on the Platform, looking for her friends -- picturing scenes in my head is a very good thing for me when I'm reading, kudos to that.
I just have a few things to nit-pick; I'm a picky person. In the very first paragraph, there was a misspelling of Carmen's name. Now, I'm not sure if you meant to say Carman or Carmen, but you should pick one. Also, don't forget that Head Boy and Head Girl should always be capitalized, even if the words aren't at the beginning of a sentence. The same goes for the word Prefect. I also caught a few minor grammar blips, such as no punctuation at the end of one sentence, or no comma in front of someone's name when they're being spoken to [“- hey, Lils!”], but it was nothing major.
I like how you're subtly developing your characters. There were no long descriptions of Lily and her friends [which is the case in many Lily/James fictions]. I also like how Carmen and Sarah's personalities aren't outshining Lily's right away, which is another thing that I see in many L/J fics. Though you haven't fully developed them [and I really hope that you do, they seem very interesting], I still get a feel of their personalities. Many authors tend to create female versions of Remus and Sirius, and then pair them off with the Marauders. I caught a little hint about Sarah's romantic future, and I was delightfully surprised that I didn't see Remus of Sirius. Often times, authors come right out and make their OCs have dazzling personalities, and they sort of shunt Lily off to the side as the 'stuck-up' one. I didn't see you do this at all. Thank you for that. Carmen seemed a bit strong minded, but then again, so did Lily and Sarah. I like that you didn't stereotype each girl's personality [the loud one, the shy one, etc.] Great work!
I usually don't read fluff -- I'm much more of a dark romance kind of gal, but like I said before, I was delightfully surprised. I look forward to reading more in the future.
Author's Response: Thank you! I really want to make my fic different from others of the same genre, but it can be difficult! I didn't realise I had spelled them differently - thanks I will try to correct them. Carmen and Sarah will come into the story a lot maore as it progresses. Thanks for your review!