Reviewer: Mistletoe
Date: 01/26/08 9:57
Chapter: Hospital Wing Beds Are Really Uncomfortable

I've seen this done a couple of times, but you really seemed to hit the Marauders head on! At first, you introduced Remus' thoughts so well-- they seemed just like him! Then as the story moved along, you brought the other three in and you did equally as well with their characterization. You didn't even leave Peter out, and you didn't make him a blubbering idiot. Props to you for that.

Now-- you're Remus. I absolutely loved the fact that you wrote him as sarcastic and snarky, not the timid Remus that I'm so used to seeing. You hit him perfectly-- just the way I see him in the books, and you took it back to his childhood. He wasn't abashed or nervous about his friend's seeing his cuts as he tends to be in fanfic. You took advantage of his real personality and made a scene with the Marauders that was hilarious! I had a grin on my face the whole time.

Lovely job!

--Kat [from MWPP class]

Reviewer: I_LUV_MOONY
Date: 08/26/07 12:45
Chapter: Hospital Wing Beds Are Really Uncomfortable

Ah, how cute! This story was very good. You got the Marauders perfectly. And I loved the part about Ellen Harmonds. The pillow fight at the end rounded it all out nicely. Great job!

Reviewer: muggleme7
Date: 08/22/07 17:56
Chapter: Hospital Wing Beds Are Really Uncomfortable

It was good but did you knwo the ratings are for the quality of writing, not the age appropriateness( don't know of another word to use there, not that thats a word). The warnings should take of the language warning.

Reviewer: Siriusly Mr Black
Date: 08/16/07 9:42
Chapter: Hospital Wing Beds Are Really Uncomfortable

this is fantastic...It made me smile...:-D

Reviewer: karen2681
Date: 09/05/06 8:34
Chapter: Hospital Wing Beds Are Really Uncomfortable

cool

Reviewer: snowy_owl_92
Date: 06/28/06 9:36
Chapter: Hospital Wing Beds Are Really Uncomfortable

that was a good laugh. pretty funny.

Reviewer: LadyAlesha
Date: 06/25/06 15:10
Chapter: Hospital Wing Beds Are Really Uncomfortable

I usually stay away from Marauder fics, because while I like the characters most fics I've read don't do them justice. (No offense meant to any writers of Marauder era stories.) I'm glad I read your fic though, because it was extremely funny! You capture the dynamics of the Marauders' friendship perfectly and the characters are very well done as well. Peter is there, and he's not just a tag-along, but he is an equal member of the group. He has something to add and the others listen to him, he's not just there. When James, Sirius and Peter came in, I was afraid that he would just be a shadow, because you said he crept in at their ankles. You explain why straight after saying this, so it's alright, but it still evokes a slightly weird picture, as if he was cowering or something like this.

I love Sirius! He's funny, he's carefree, he's a prankster and a bit of a lady's man, but most importantly he doesn't take himself seriously, not too much anyway. But you also show how much he cares about his friends, because he actually cleans Remus's wound when he realizes that he caused it. This action, however small it may be, is immensely significant because it shows that under his playful exterior he really cares about his friends. His anger with Remus towards the end is completely irrational, but something that I can see Sirius doing. His hug at the end is soo sneaky, but hilarious.

Staying on the topic of their friendship, the scene you chose to portray also reflects the strength of their friendship. The four of them are just after going through the worst night of their month, together, and almost as soon as Remus, who suffers fromit the most, is surrounded by his friends again. They don't leave him alone for longer than they have to, which shows how much they care about him.

He never was still bleeding the morning after. Just a tiny thing here:I think it would add to the flow of your sentence to interchange 'never' and 'was'.

Sirius spun, grabbing the short boy by the front of his robes and hauling him up to his eye level. First off, I like how you show that Sirius is much taller than Peter by only saying that Peter is small and he has to 'haul him up'. One slight change I would make is at the beginning, instead of saying 'he spun', I would say 'he spun around' because it gives a movement a direction and makes it easier to envision the scene.

I can't help it if girls just madly love me more than they do you. I'd suggest taking out 'madly', it sounds odd putting it into the comparison of who the girls love more and I somehow don't think it's something Remus would say. THe comparison without the 'madly' fits in better with his character.

He let go almost immediately, and the pillow fight got under way rather quickly after that. I feel really picky saying this, but I think you shouldn't use a definite article here. Put 'a pillow fight' instead of 'the pillow fight' because it just starts all of a sudden, so an indefinite article fits better.

Author's Response: Thank you for the pickiness, dear. =) I'm glad you liked it so much; one thing I was trying to show was the friendship and the interaction, and I'm glad it came across. Thanks for pointing out the bit with Peter "creeping in," I changed it because you're right, it did sound rather horrible. Thanks for the SPEW review.

Reviewer: KalthiaQueenOfAll
Date: 06/21/06 21:11
Chapter: Hospital Wing Beds Are Really Uncomfortable

That was funny, kinda a cute moment. I'm definately going to try and find that fanart

Reviewer: Mistletoe
Date: 06/18/06 13:42
Chapter: Hospital Wing Beds Are Really Uncomfortable

That was nice. I've never really seen anything much like it. I like how you didn't completely ignore Peter or make him seem like a bumbling idiot, like so many Marauder fic writers seem to do. I also liked how you write Remus, usually people portray him as an quiet, straight-edge kid, but he was relatively normal in this one, especially since it was the morning after. I do think Sirius' outburst was a bit melodramatic, but other than that, I thought it was a wonderful fic.

Reviewer: padfootnflawks
Date: 06/17/06 18:33
Chapter: Hospital Wing Beds Are Really Uncomfortable

*SHRICK* you must right more chapters NOW. *puppy eye look* please? i really did like your story it was funny...ohhh jamsekins....poor lily....poor remus... :)

*************padfootnflawks^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Reviewer: evanescence17
Date: 06/06/06 5:38
Chapter: Hospital Wing Beds Are Really Uncomfortable

Hilarious. Christ! I was rolling on my sides reading it. Keep up with the good work.
Cheerio
evanescence17

Reviewer: bookworm2011
Date: 05/24/06 11:49
Chapter: Hospital Wing Beds Are Really Uncomfortable

HILARIOUS!

Reviewer: brokenhearted
Date: 05/02/06 16:35
Chapter: Hospital Wing Beds Are Really Uncomfortable

LOL!!! That was hilarious! Anything with the great Mauraders is good.

Reviewer: HeRmYgInS
Date: 02/13/06 10:27
Chapter: Hospital Wing Beds Are Really Uncomfortable

HAHAHA! Very good! That was really funny...the ending was perfect. Bravo!

Reviewer: Evik
Date: 01/22/06 13:13
Chapter: Hospital Wing Beds Are Really Uncomfortable

I LOVED it. That was so sweet and funny. I have put you to my "favourite authors" list. ;) Great work. i can't wait for more fan fics of yours.:)

Reviewer: Rhys
Date: 01/01/06 0:24
Chapter: Hospital Wing Beds Are Really Uncomfortable

SHWEET! I dunno if I saw the picture you're talking about or something similar, but I have a picture on my computer that this TOTALLY describes. Absolutely great. The dialogue was wonderful. They're a tad moody, *Sirius freaking so completely out about whats-her-face, James acting like a little girl about Lily*, but overall it was brilliant. You really had Remus down. I'd like to hear what you think about my own fic *it's probably going to be much longer and much less funny, sadly, although I wouldn't call it angst by any means*. I look forward to reading more of your stuff!

Reviewer: fire_temper
Date: 12/30/05 23:32
Chapter: Hospital Wing Beds Are Really Uncomfortable

love it. a sequel to the prongs complex?*looks very very happy*pleeeese!!!!! i'll read!!!you could do it about what lily says to james...like what james did only vice versa! love it and get that sequel up after the break!!!

Reviewer: Lilypudding
Date: 12/07/05 5:41
Chapter: Hospital Wing Beds Are Really Uncomfortable

I LOVED IT! Omg, it is so funny. I love seeing the Marauders have a good time, because when you know what happens to them, you really think they need it! I loved the part where Remus was all like "You are not dead. You say this every morning!" Sooooooooooooo funny. I feel so bad for poor Remus though. At least he has nice friends, though. 10/10, 10/10, 10/10, 10/10, 10/10, 10 million/10, you get the pic. Please, write a sequel! I just loved it soooooooooooo much!

Reviewer: Lilypudding
Date: 12/07/05 5:41
Chapter: Hospital Wing Beds Are Really Uncomfortable

I don't know how my review got up their twice, but I'm sorry to bother you with 2 reviews. I still adored it though!

Author's Response: Erm...four, actually. =)

Reviewer: Lilypudding
Date: 12/07/05 5:40
Chapter: Hospital Wing Beds Are Really Uncomfortable

I LOVED IT! Omg, it is so funny. I love seeing the Marauders have a good time, because when you know what happens to them, you really think they need it! I loved the part where Remus was all like "You are not dead. You say this every morning!" Sooooooooooooo funny. I feel so bad for poor Remus though. At least he has nice friends, though. 10/10, 10/10, 10/10, 10/10, 10/10, 10 million/10, you get the pic. Please, write a sequel! I just loved it soooooooooooo much!

You must login (register) to review.
Information
Find out everything you need to know about the site right here.


We have stories and authors in this archive.

:

RSS
Choose Theme:
SOCIAL MEDIA
     
MOST RECENT
MIT: Entente Cordial by Northumbrian 6th-7th Years
A strange and seemingly inexplicable death in London's West End brings an unlikely...
Allegiance by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor 6th-7th Years
During his final year at Hogwarts, Draco Malfoy had few illusions about where...
Through the Mines by Nagini Riddle 1st-2nd Years
Tom Riddle remarks on the power he held while at the orphanage and at school.Written...
FEATURED
Glass over the Flame by the opaleye 3rd-5th Years
Harry, Hermione, and the moments in between. He doesn’t say that this...
Tom Riddle and the Chamber of Secrets by CanisMajor 3rd-5th Years
What really happened the last time someone let the Basilisk out? Harry Potter...
Red Squirrel/Sun Rises by hestiajones 1st-2nd Years
+ He wouldn't celebrate his birthday, but his son had other ideas. + This was...
Sybill Trelawney and the Unexpected Gift by Squibstress 3rd-5th Years
Sybill Trelawney learns to live with her Inner Eye, cooking sherry, and Minerva...
Pat-a-Cake by foolondahill17 1st-2nd Years
Molly Weasley II, called Pat, and twenty-one lot and little-known facts. Or...
Wood by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor 6th-7th Years
Marcus Flint, the infamous Super Seventh Captain of the Slytherin Quidditch...
CATEGORIES