Interesting first chapter. Can't wait to read more
Interesting first chapter. Can't wait to read more
good story so far
It was fun seeing a different person's take on this "what if story." I think it was creative of you to change canon details to make the story your own, and even wording of similar conversations make sense to be different comsidering the alternate circumstance. I also liked the quotes at the beginning of each story.
Good so far
Very good story so far
You misspelled now and reparo but other than that its good.
Author's Response: is that your final answer? enjoy the rest of the story and the ones to come! ~Sara
the only thing i didnt like is the lenght...so short...but alas...the story goes on...! The stroy does seemed just a bit...wats the word...rushed. not much but everything in life could always use improvement! more detail would work to...but aside from that...i love it! The idea is pure brilliance full of the upmost genius and sweetness! good job! :D
Author's Response: Things will definitely slow down in the next story. And, yes, this story isn't written very well. It was the very first thing I ever wrote, but I've improved, if I say so myself!!! I'm going to university for Creative Writing and I've learned a lot in my first year -- which I hope you'll see in the next story!! Thank you so much!! ~Sara
omg...wat will this all lead to? Harry shaking malfoy's hand? This is the story all of us have pictured in our minds from the very begging and you finally put it to words...! This is a great idea...and a great first story! Congrats and keep the story a comin'! :D
Author's Response: I'm glad you found this story and you like it! That's great!! Thanks you so much for your compliments!! ~Sara
It's an interesting idea; however I noticed a few typos in your story.For example:
He looked forward and saw that upon the stool that was placed before Dumbledore, was an old hat. That was how we were going to be sorted?
I think you messed up tenses there, because Harry is going to be sorted, hence you would use "are going." Since was would contradict the sentence because it's refering to the future, I would use is. Plus there are two minor errors.
Author's Response: That was my first story ever written, so you'll have to excuse all the errors, and there are quite a few of them in there! I've improved greatly from the time I wrote that story, at least I like to think so, and so I''ve been told by readers of my second and third stories. rnrnBut its the thought the counts right? I hope you continue reading the story, despite the grammatical errors!!rn~Sara
is this an h/g fic? :P (Eventually)
Author's Response: Probably, but at the very end. ~Sara
I wonder what draco will see in the mirror.
Author's Response: Hmm...
I loved it! so cool how you made it all fit in with the plot!
Author's Response: Thank you!!!
I just finished reading your story and I definitely wanted to give you some feedback before I checked out the other two.
I loved the story idea! It's a great concept and you've run with it really well.
I think you've created different characters. Too often I'll read a piece that has every character talking the exact same and it just doesn't work.
I think the things you're adding are very interesting and definitely work in the Rowling universe.
Although I like some of the things you've added, I wondered a few times why you changed things that were already set, e.g. the writing on top of the Mirror of Erised.
Overall, the pace of the story was a bit rushed. It felt like you really wanted to keep on writing rather than taking some time to let the story get to the next part itself.
I thought the only major loophole that kept dogging me was that Ron and Hermione made such quick friends when it took at least until Halloween with the three of them before.
I love the story and you kept me reading straight through.
Author's Response: I'm pleased you enjoyed my story! I try my best to make sure that each character is unique and doesn't get confused with the others -- each one is different like a living person and that's what I hope to portray. I glad you think I have! That sincerely makes me happy!
The only reason I changed things was so that you readers wouldn't be reading Rowling books all over again in my story. I thought maybe you would get bored of reading it again (though who could get bored of the Potter books, right?), so I tweaked it slightly for the sake of newness.
Well, this was my first time writing a story ever, actually, and I must admit it wasn't the best piece of writing I've written, so I know that its rushed and sometimes the grammar is wrong and such. But I promise that the next two are much better!
The friendship thing was another side effect of being a beginner writer -- I just thought of the outcome, or the effects if you will, and not the causes. I just knew that I wanted them to be friends, but didn't think of the fact that friendships have to grow first.
Thank you so much for reading the story!! It's a pleasure to have another fan! ~Sara
I'm guessing Greyback. Oh, something you might want to be more carefull about (though I know you've alresdy finished this one the 2nd and are on the 3rd) you keep saying that Hermione or Draco are visiting Europe, but Hogwarts is in Europe, so they wouldn't really be visiting if they were already there.
Author's Response: Hmm...very true about the Europe thing. I just always considered England to be simply in the UK, but I'll be more careful about that next time.
The story is really good, but I think some parts could've been edited. Like the fact that Snape lets his students call him Snape? Snape would never let anyone address him willingly by his surname, usually it's considered rude (unless you're really close to the person). Plus Snape is their head of house. Also I'm surprised that you didn't write anything about the fact that no slytherin asked about his parents being purebloods. But don't get me wrong, I I liked your story! Gonna read the next one asap :)
P.S. It's 'Owlery', not Owlry.
Author's Response: That's true about Snape letting his students call him Snape, but I wanted to show a difference between Harry and the other Slytherins. I guess I could've done it another way.
Hmmm...that's interesting about the Pureblood thing. I never even thought about that with Harry, just with the other students. But perhaps I'll add soemthing like that in the next story!! I like the idea, so thanks!
Thank you!! I hope you like the next story too!! ~Sara
What does "Cor" mean
Author's Response: It's just an exclamation, like "Oh my God!"
I am a new reader and I have just started to read this story. For my part I like this chapter. I like you idea, and I have read some other of the reviews I have seen that somebody don't like it because of the idea - well it is all what fanfiction is about isn't? To use your imagenation. Well I thought the charachters seems very real.
Tatiana R. Black
I will go and read the next chapter.
Author's Response: Thanks! I'm pleased that you like my story idea! I hope you continue to enjoy it as you keep reading! ~Sara