Reviewer: xCoHoRoIoSoToAx
Date: 02/03/06 16:29
Chapter: An Early Morning

This is an awesome story... i'm really excited to read the next chapters!!

Author's Response: Thanks! 'Scuse me while I go edit them...

Reviewer: xenophiliac
Date: 02/03/06 14:54
Chapter: Sacrifice

Foreshadowing is what i see the most of at this point. Did you say it was in Egypt that they found this account of love-sacrafice? Don't u think Dumbledore knows about this, or, is it that he only figures it out after Lily dies. Lily seems to be the only person so far who has figured out what life is all about. Do you think that's what JKR is trying to tell us so subtley? I wasn't sure exactly where Snape cast the spell at Lily, or exactly what the effects were, but thats where the mystery kicks in, right?

Author's Response: I think Dumbledore read the paper Lily wrote, but that the fragment had been overlooked as unreadable and unlikely for quite a long time, and considered just an unlikely folk account. I also don't think Lily wrote a quarter of what she was thinking, or admitted that she experimented with the spell. And lastly -- foreshadowing. I liked giving Severus a way to believe that Harry did nothing special at all, and that Lily was the one who brought down the Dark Lord.
Lily has indeed figured out what life is all about -- she always was a little ahead of the rest of them. Thanks for reviewing, and so quickly, too!

Reviewer: xenophiliac
Date: 02/02/06 20:52
Chapter: Fear

Fear huh......just one thing to mention. The ministry obviously doesnt know, or else obviously hides the fact that death eaters have a mark on their arm, otherwise catching death eaters and traitors would be a much easier process. Agreed? Wouldn't Dumbledore know enough to check Hawk's history? Why did Black, Potter, and Lupin sort of take Snape's side? I know they all hated Hawk, but they are archenemies. Especially Sirius. Is there going to be a familiar face teaching DADA the rest of the year? Why didn't Snape use legilimency again during attacks on students? I like that the most, its a cool bit to learn. Hawk kind of confused me because I didn't get the impression that he might be bad in any way until Snape used legilimency and described a young Voldemort accurately.

Author's Response: These reviews are getting tricky to answer! Major lit crit! Love it!

The Legilimency stopped because against Potter the snake was working fine for Hawk's purposes, and because Severus really didn't want to have a look at the inside of that particular skull. He wasn't that interested in the contents of the others, either -- the Marauders were perhaps a tenth as interesting to him as they thought they were -- but hadn't found a good way to dodge his assignment once he had it.

I was thinking that at this point the Dark Mark on the arm might not be entirely common knowledge, and that particularly in Britain it would be most unusual to say, "Nice to meet you. Pardon me, but could you roll up your left sleeve a bit? Thanks awfully." As for Hawk's background check, well, he's not nearly so awful with social superiors present, and looked fine (though rather bland and dull) to his former teachers and the like.

As for Potter, Black, and Lupin -- well. They are, after all, Gryffindors, and with the bravery goes a certain sense of morality. No matter how much they have hated Severus at various points in time, there's still a 'gag point' simply on the grounds that there are some things they cannot watch happen to another human being -- and he does still count. Too, once upon a time in this plot line, Potter and Severus got along a bit, and now that it's sufficiently proven that a certain moment of embarrassment a couple of years ago was only that, the Potter side of the relationship is a good deal more generous than he used to be. Lupin and Black will follow his lead no matter how strange it may seem to them. (Pettigrew, apparently, will not.) Besides -- the Midnight Marauders, given a chance to stand up to an inarguably vile authority figure? That's just right up there with chocolate for Lily or books for Severus. This vague cameraderie lasts exactly as long as Hawk's presence at Hogwarts.

I confess -- I'm a little surprised that Hawk surprised you. About two paragraphs after he turned up, my beta said, "I hope it's all right that I hate him," and that seemed like a good sign.

I think most of these problems are at least partly the limited-third-person POV. That makes it very difficult to let the reader know what the character does not. Changing the viewpoint, though, would make a whole different set of problems.

Reviewer: Kerian
Date: 02/02/06 14:27
Chapter: Weak Points

I agree that I can't see either boy controlling Lily's relationship with the other. I am interested to see how James reacts though when he learns about Lily and Snape and their potion making funtimes. I was really pleased with this chapter, I really liked the idea that Severus didn't want to use this power and was feeling upset about it. It was nice to see James's flaw and Severus's feelings about it, though I doubt he'll hesitiate to use it to his advantage. I also loveddd that every single one of them just HAD to have the kiss in the foremost of their thoughts! Please update again soon, I'm addicted to the story!

Author's Response: An addict -- wow, now that's flattering. Thanks for the review. I'll be updating a little faster for a bit, I think.

Reviewer: xenophiliac
Date: 01/30/06 9:42
Chapter: Weak Points

I think I would feel bad for old Sevvy-poo if he wasn't as heartless as he is. It's perfect the way he constantly rejects Lily and expects her to be there (subconciously at least). My, Poor Lily. She seems to be the one with the trouble of a Slytherin misfit, gay creeper, rat, and hoity-toity Potter all at the same time. Let us hope she likes her future with the latter. I don't think Snape is going to have a lot of control over her relationship with James.

Author's Response: "Sevvy-Poo"?? Dear me. (and grin)

I doubt James will have much control over Lily's relationship with James either; she's a proper Taurus. Poor Severus, maybe poor Lily, but definitely poor James.

Reviewer: xenophiliac
Date: 01/30/06 9:19
Chapter: The New Professor

Interesting dueling going on there....did you mean "touche" when you said "touch" or did you mean " ;-) What made Lily sick? Oo, the questions are high, hope I find some answers in the next chapter. By the way, nice posting timewise

Author's Response: I did indeed mean 'touch' as it is quicker and gets whatever spell has been performed undone sooner -- sometimes a good thing, after all. I'm ironing out a little bit of dialogue trouble in 28, but it should be along in a day or two. Speed of posting is much improved by having the whole thing pretty much done aside from Slian's "Why on earth did you's" Which are, of course, very helpful. So -- most, if not all, questions will be answered. Someday. Maybe.

Reviewer: Spaced Out
Date: 01/29/06 19:44
Chapter: Weak Points

This story is absolutely amazing. I love the way it fits cannon, and supplies backstory, and foreshadows what we already know is coming. The idea of Sirius fancying James freaks me out a bit, but aside from that this story is one of my favorites. 10/10.

Author's Response: I'm always a little surprised by those little things in canon that we all read differently. You mean Sirius might NOT fancy James? *does double-take* Really??
Thanks for the review, and I'm glad to be writing one of your favorites. My professors wish I'd been a little less careful in my research...

Reviewer: Slian Martreb
Date: 01/28/06 20:21
Chapter: The Letter

Yes, well. Until they realize what a 'mamzer' is and banish me from the site forever....You'll let me read it, right? Or shall I get to be surprised? Going to find comments on Carter...

Author's Response: Well, the drabble is still up, last I checked. I'm not in a hurry to spend any more time with MWMNBN, to be honest.

Reviewer: xenophiliac
Date: 01/27/06 22:34
Chapter: The Head Girl Shows True Colours

Me with the longer review: It apears to me that Severus no longer minds people witnessing the snape-evans friendship. And when is Lily going to start falling for James?.....I'd like to see Severus's reaction and whether they'll hate eachother again/or not. How long did the end of his good luck take place, it seems to me that it must have been at least half an hour because the sorting takes a while. Well, lol good work, keep writing!

Author's Response: He just decided maybe they'd better mind some more, if that's how Pettigrew is going to react. James and Lily will indeed get together in seventh year -- I'm not going AU in this fic at least (I make no promises for whatever may happen when this one is completed, however.) I don't know in terms of clock time how long it may have taken Severus to talk himself out of slinking away to Slytherin House and into striding into the Great Hall, but I am quite certain it was one full Sorting, and that there was nothing else for everyone to look at but mostly-full plates. I found that the very best explanation for a certain scene at the beginning of HBP.

I'm writing awfully long replies today and should be posting a chapter instead, shouldn't I?

Reviewer: xenophiliac
Date: 01/27/06 19:04
Chapter: The Head Girl Shows True Colours

I like this chapter! Severus is so open about his friendship with Lily...yet in a subtle way...does that make sense? Well, it was enjoyable to read, I hav to wrap up, Ill write more later....

Author's Response: Open yet subtle -- he's got some conflicting feelings here, and it sounds as though they show... On to the next review, and thanks for cheerfully posting lots of them!

Reviewer: Slian Martreb
Date: 01/27/06 14:12
Chapter: The Slug Club Meets

Well, if it's chaptered, that means it's already written, doesn't it? Feel free to send it on before 29. I can't wait to meet Junior!

Author's Response: No, 'chaptered' just means it's overflowed the first one and looks like it'll take a while. But whenever it is typed instead of scrawled in the little black notebook of doom (Part II) you will get a look at it, I promise. And guess what? I think it may actually be short on cliches! Junior says hi.

Reviewer: Slian Martreb
Date: 01/27/06 14:11
Chapter: The Letter

I was actually going to suggest something, and then realized that the Mods would probably delete it. Although, if we say 'The Mamzer Who Shall Not Be Named' I can probably get away with it...

Author's Response: I like it. That may even be the new title if that drabble of mine makes it up to fic-size.

Reviewer: Kerian
Date: 01/27/06 14:09
Chapter: The Head Girl Shows True Colours

Now those are quick updates! I like Severus's dilemna, and especially the line where you described what James would see as he looked in the window. Great work, I wonder how seventh year is going to turn out and how James does with those prefect duties! And who is that new defense teacher? Well Done!

Author's Response: Oh, good, you want to know what happens next! That's always a good sign. Thanks for the review!

Reviewer: Kerian
Date: 01/27/06 10:54
Chapter: In the Tea Leaves

Yes I love this story! I really loved how Petunia was charmed by Severus and hated James! I really like the way Severus was so serious about what he saw in the tea leaves, and his decision to keep it from Lily. I also really liked that Lily was comfortable having Severus drop in to her house. Will he ever meet her parents? Great story and I hope the quick updates continue!

Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing! (And thanks again for reviewing poor neglected Carter, too -- he needs more friends.) Lily is becoming very much a person in her own right in my head. Sometime I'll have to write more of her, with or without Petunia.

Reviewer: xenophiliac
Date: 01/26/06 18:58
Chapter: In the Tea Leaves

Hello! I think this chapter is a little odd....mostly because of Petunia's reactions to Severus than the cup-predictions....and because of Severus's reactions to Petunia, but the main point of it sticks out in my mind. I can imagine him debating whether to tell Lily about the prediction or not to, then decide against it. IDK it just seems like the kind of thing he'd do. Amazing how much he knows from one glance at a cup

Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing! I am evil and contrary and wanted Severus to be the only one of Lily's Wizarding friends that Petunia liked in the slightest. Besides, now Lily has to spend the rest of the summer with the question, "Why can't you be as nice as...?" which Severus finds amusing. I'm glad you agree that he probably wouldn't tell her that prediction. It seemed the sort of thing he wouldn't want to share.

Reviewer: Slian Martreb
Date: 01/26/06 17:45
Chapter: In Which Severus Redecorates, and Malfoy's Weakness Is Discovered

Oh PLEASE! Can we? We could probably win points for it too, a la House Unity. Except we'd make up to never use his name again. Like Hitler or something. You know, it's a good thing he married in because he really DOES belong in the Ancient and Most Demented House of Black...

Author's Response: I think it'd be a blast, if we can figure out how to do it. Is this a Ravenclaw thing or a whole-boards thing? And what do we use to refer to him now that "He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named" and "Lord -- Thingy" have been taken?

Reviewer: Slian Martreb
Date: 01/26/06 17:42
Chapter: The Letter

No silly, Arthur. He's like, absentee father of the month. Whoops, I forgot; that's mine.

Author's Response: Busy at the Ministry, no doubt. If he's absent, the silence means a lot less, but it makes sense for Molly to hog all the dialogue.

Reviewer: Slian Martreb
Date: 01/26/06 17:40
Chapter: Defensive Moments

Read the next e-mail dear. You don't need me to post that on your reviews now, do you?

Author's Response: Never been so glad to be raised Reform/free-range in my life...

Reviewer: Slian Martreb
Date: 01/26/06 17:38
Chapter: The Slug Club Meets

Absolutely one of my favorite chapters. Next is, for different reasons....26. I think. Or 27. And they will TOO have a one-shot or I will WALK to Illinois and MAKE you write it.

Author's Response: Who said anything about a one-shot? It's already chaptered. Better start walking...

Reviewer: Slian Martreb
Date: 01/24/06 17:27
Chapter: Defensive Moments

Darn right I do!

Author's Response: I think I'll let you finish with the others first. And did I read that email right? A YES??? (Hey, let's go totally public here...)

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