Good chapter!!! I really enjoyed it.
Author's Response: =) I'm glad you liked it!
Aw! This is so cute... FYI I'm very partial towards Charlie--you painted a slightly different picture of him than I did, but I still love it! Chapter two is my favorite so far (again, probably the Charlie thing). The only thing I would say is that you skipped over the hand thing at the end so fast, I was almost confused. I understand you didn't want to make it a huge moment or anything, but it still felt rushed... I know this is romance, so they'll get together eventually and you don't want to drag it out--props to you for that--but it did feel slightly rushed and not awkward, but... hasty I guess. Anyways, enough of that, I very much enjoyed your story and am looking forward to what comes next! :)
Author's Response: Thank you for the review! I'll try to see what I can do about the ending of Chapter Three to make it a little more clear.
I absolutely love your story!!!! I love the changing POV's. Really great job!!
Author's Response: Yay, another review! Thank you!!! The story was originally going to be in third person, but then I realized that I write better in first person. =)
WOW!!! this story rocks my socks!!! you are doing a great job, I especially love how you switch POVs every chapter, Awesome!!!10/10
Author's Response: Thanks! I wanted a switching POV because I didn't want to JUST get Ari or Charlie's view on things.
This an AMAZING story! I was looking around, as you do when i spotted this and as soon as i had read the first chapter i knew it was going to be brill. I can't wait for the updates and really hope that when i write fanfics they'll be this good. 10/10
Author's Response: *bows* Thank you so much!
Yey I 'm the first reveiwer. This story is really fantastic and I do not know why you do not have any reviews. I really liked your three chapters and hpe you will update nice long chapters.
Yey I 'm the first reveiwer. This story is really fantastic and I do not know why you do not have any reviews. I really liked your three chapters and hpe you will update nice long chapters.
Author's Response: I was getting worried that no one liked it. =) I'll try to write longer chapters in the future. Thank you for your review!
Oh I really like this story. It is very original and sweet. Infact it is one of my favs.
Author's Response: Thank you! I'm a sucker for sweet romantic stories, so I'm trying my hand at writing them.
First off, I really like your premise. You did very well describing Arianna’s loneliness.I have to say that your description of her physical change is a bit little Mary-Sueish. Her personality isn't, but the fact that she basically became gorgeous over the summer is somewhat suspect.
You did misspell "shivered," and "All right" is two words, not one "alright," but other than that the grammar/spelling's good. There's one thing that I think is a wrong word:
I doubted that I could make it by Friday.
I’m guessing that’s supposed to be "I doubted I could make it to Friday.” If not, you may need to reword it, because it doesn’t quite make sense.
The other thing is, why is Arianna so invisible? She’s really good-looking, so at the very least, some guys should have noticed her. I don’t understand why she’s completely alone. Maybe you could say something about her being so quiet that only guys who want the wrong thing bother talking to her. That I’d understand.
Very interesting start, keep going!
Author's Response: Thank you! I'm always happy to get reviews, especially since this is my first fanfiction ever. Oooh, good eye, I didn't catch the "I doubted that I could make it by Friday" part before. It's kinda hard to catch mistakes when you're writing. Why is Arianna so invisible? In my school, the people that participate a lot in class always get attention. There are girls that are pretty, but by not calling attention to themselves, they might as well be a shadow. Remember Arianna doesn't like to hang out with the other girls? That's because she's different. She doesn't wear makeup, she doesn't gossip, and she doesn't throw herself at boys. It's easier to notice groups of friends than one person. You'll find out the point of view of the school in later chapters. About the spelling and grammer...well, spelling was never my strongest point, but it isn't my weakest point either. I hope that I'll get better at it, though.
