First I must say, I'm very very very VERY sorry I never reviewed your story before, because I was too lazy to make an account, but I have been reading along with everyone else and it's extremely addicting. I too have been waiting for each chapter to surface and I check back everyday to see if another is posted. This story is really something special [maybe because it was inspired by one of my favorite bands a7x? hehe]. Your choice of words really know how to weave a dramatic and realistic picture in one's mind. I adore the plot [being a fellow h/h shipper : ) ] and the style that you use. The story is original, something fresh. It's believable, not too fluffy, and you really keep everyone in character. In alot of H/H stories I read, most of them make out Ron to be a stupid, moronic animal. I appreciate that you kept everyone in character, even down to Lupin, Ginny, Wormtail, Mrs. Weasley, Voldemort, and just everyone. I love your details of each scene, of Harry's facial expressions to what's going on around him. They're very specific but leave room for imagination in the reader's point of view. This is a wonderful story so pleeeeeeeeease keep the chapters coming!! If you don't, no cupcakes for you! ; )
NOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!! *curses summer vacation into oblivion* I would trade two weeks of vacation for a single PARAGRAPH of this ANY day!!!!!!!! AGGGGHHHH! *continues primal screaming to get frustration out of system*
*deep breath* Oh dear. Me? *blushes* Oh my... you’ve given me THIS chapter? THE BEST YET? With the... and the... and then... *tears of honor fill eyes* THANK YOOOOOOOUUUUUU! *crushes your lungs in hug*
That. Was. ____________ (insert synonym for brilliant, amazing, etc. here). How do you do it? It flows from start to finish, from the conversation with Lupin (why IS it important what the chains looked like? Hmmm...), and I think you’ve realized Voldemort's weakness better than JK herself ever could’ve hoped to. From that to realizing where another Horcrux was, to the promise and then to what we’ve all been waiting for... *has shipper-based spaz-attack* EEP! *squeals for oh... five minutes* FINALLY! But I don’t think I would’ve had *THE KISS* come a second sooner. Well, okay, maybe I would’ve, but it wouldn’t be half as good as it was when you did it. *goes off to bury thesaurus* Honestly, I think it’s served it’s purpose enough, after reading this chapter.
Oh! And one thing I’ll ask you to do... just one little thing! *cowers in mightiness of Sadie’s might...i...ness* Listen to/ Read the lyrics to “Security” by Joss Stone. I heard it on the radio one day and thought of Harry and Hermione instantly. But! I’m warning you! DO NOT use it as lyrics for one of the chapters. Because it would ruin the whole “Avenged Sevenfold” thing (love them, by the way). Just saying. That thought probably didn’t even cross your mind, did it? Hm. I dunno. Just being careful, in case my mind works in weird ways. Not... that... um... anyone would... ever... you know... assume that... about me... UM... I’d better go now.
KEEP ON KEEPIN’ ON. HOWEVER YOU DO THAT. UPDATE SOOOOOOOOOON!
Oh that great!!!
a good chapter again and me an axid reader and writer. just finishinf a chapter in on of my books... NO DETAlS... except that Ron does something to betray some one. good work as always.
It's been awhile since last I read a new chapter from you, but the wait was deffinitely worth it. I still cannot get over how great this story is. Like I said, it's been awhile so, I may repeat myself on something I've said before. This chapter was amazing, I simply enjoyed how the relationship is developing. I fear that I am running out of adjectives on how to describe my love for this story so, I'll go with spectaculous!
you have a very good style of writing. i see a lot of the way i write in you. You kick the story off in a good way, and have the reader at the edge of their seets.
Yeah H/Hr romance! I love that it wasn't the full " I Love You " thing. They were so innocent. I really hope Ron's alright. Once again your writing has amazed me. I wish sometimes you wrote the real Harry Potter books. Please Update Soon! 100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000/10
wow. absoloutly fantastic. i think i held my breathe ALL the way through this. 10/10 update soon!
insane! dude keep up the good work :) continue on with chapter 9 10, etc
insane! dude keep up the good work :) continue on with chapter 9 10, etc
Wow.. Ok that was probably one the longest "first kiss" scenes I've ever read that actually *works*. You see, most scenes with a first kiss between anyone is either too long to work, or too short, and kind of akward. You made the scene play out beautifully, it wasn't too much or too little.
Another thing I thought was amazing was I was feeling the same emotions that Harry and Hermione were. You portrayed everything about that scene with a kind of subtlety, and you kept making me wonder "is this gonna be the chapter? Are they going to kiss?"
I also think that it was brilliant to have it at the end of the chapter, which built up the tension between Harry and Hermione.
Excellent chapter! I'm so glad I put this story on my favorites list, because this chapter is a **MUST-READ** 10/10 for this Chapter. Keep up the exceptional work!
I have loved your story, and even though I don’t review every chapter, I read them all and wait anxiously for an update. I really enjoy the intensity of your story, it carries me along and keeps me wanting more.
I did, however, notice two things that I think are worth mentioning.
“I’m fine,” Harry sighed exasperatedly, feeling like a broken record. I noticed you did this on several occasions, adding an adverb, in this case, exasperatedly, to you dialogue tag. In most cases it is better to show the reader how they said it by the action following the dialogue or the actual words said by the character, it avoids making the dialogue sound like a formula.
she realized how very close his face was… if she just leaned in… The second thing I noticed, especially towards the end of the chapter was your use of ellipses. I think, like in this case, you could eliminate one set of ellipses and make the sentence flow better by saying “she realized how very close his face was. If she just leaned in…” The ellipses accomplish a very specific goal, if you use them too much they lose their special-ness.
“It’s the perfect plan,” she whispered, disbelief and horror mingled in her voice. This sentence literally gave me chills up and down my spine for some reason. It just struck a chord and made me feel what she was feeling. That is what makes good writing so good. It’s the little things like that that make me keep coming back, chapter after chapter.
Keep up the good work!!
Wow, great job! This is my first Harry Hermione fic and I must say its excellent! You're story reads really well and has a great flow, keep it up!
Oooooh mygoodness. Masterfully done! You’ve woven another spell with your words, dear author. That was…. well, it was… WOW! I’d be quoting the entire chapter here if I were to start listing the brilliant parts. I loved every sweet, tantalizing, mesmerizing word of it!
Loved Lupin melting into his chair and his somber intensity…. Loved how they’re working through the complexities of Voldemort’s mind and unraveling his plan (you really do write him perfectly)…. Loved how this chapter happened in one room!… Loved the tension and build up (adored Harry’s voice cracking)… Loved the KISS!… Loved how Hermione’s fingers “shivered in remembrance of the feel of him”…. Yes. Loved it all.
I think what I appreciate the most about your stories, however, is not so much the plots (although they really are extraordinary), but how you write them. Call it imagery, characterization, whatever… I can’t label it one device or another. Because as a whole, you have a TRUE gift for evoking all the senses – your readers literally experience your stories.
(Now if you’ll excuse me… (whispers)… I just need to quietly follow Harry out that door and find out where he’s going and what the HECK he was thinking to leave Hermione standing there after that freaking AMAZING kiss!)
*deep breath in* *deep breath out* I know I keep saying this after every chapter, but this really was your best yet. Everything was perfect, just the way it should be, and what's more, I ... (damn, I can't even find the right words) ... I could feel everything you were showing us. Your writing is splendid, by the way--I don't know if I've ever read anything quite like it.
Just a few of the parts I really liked: Lupin conjured a simple wooden chair and melted into it--I don't know why, but this had such a strong impact on me; Hermione consolingly grazed her fingers across his back, unable to feel the wave of chills it was causing to run down his spine.-- I felt like the chills were running down my spine; “Chains?” Lupin inquired, leaning forward in his seat. “What did they look like?”--while this opened up so many possibilities, nice.
Now, the whole explaining thing of Voldemort's plan was absolutely brilliant. I don't think even JKR would have been able to think of it. Seriously, everything seemed to fit in together, and for some reason I feel like I'm not reading just a romance stroy, but an actual HP book.
And finally, the romance. Wow. I mean, WOW! I've said this before, that the romance here is believable, that there isn't anything that one might consider OOC. It would be useless for me to copy and paste everything that I liked about the second part of this chapter, because I really can't write down the wholw thing. ;) Anyway, you had me in chills the whole way through and when they were getting closer and closer... aaaaa...it was just so perfect. And I was in tears by the end of it. Me being a totally hopeless romantic, I really believe in true love and seeing it written so perfectly *sobtearsob*. I can't wait to see where you take this and I'm really looking forward to seeing Hermione's and Harry's reactions. *sigh*
Now I'm wishing this story didn't have to end. Honestly, why don't you make it into a thirty chapter thing? *nudge nudge* [/rambling]
Update soon, pleeease. Huggles and kisses and cookies,
I've been reading this story for a while now, and I like it alot. You have great characterization, a nice plot, and really fantastic writing...which is very hard to come by in fanfiction let alone normal novels. I also like how you fit in theories (like Dumbledore having to wear the ring that hurt him to destroy the Horcrux) in your story.
I'm the first reviewer! Wow! I liked it! They kissed! *applauds* Yay you! There are so many parts in this I enjoyed, but I'm to lazy to go back and check to tell you. Anyways, Update soon! Or you'll regret it...
Fantastic chapter! I've have been waiting for this chapter for ages. I would've come earlier but I kinda... sorta ... lost your story, PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!!!!!!!
Ah!!!! Don't keep me waiting!!! Go update now!
I just don't know why I always miss the best stories. This story is absolutely phenomenally written. I love it like I've never loved in my entire life. The details, the perspectives, the emotions, the conflicts, the agony, oh I can rave on for days. Keep up the brilliant job, and update soon!
wow!! love it... please continue :D