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Reviews For Under the Stars

Name: Nadia Malfoy (Signed) · Date: 08/04/07 15:55 · For: One-Shot
It is FUNNY! You can do Luna really well, she sounds exactly like she does in cann. All that stuff about the stars being alive--it's great!


Name: Tamaha Malfoy (Signed) · Date: 12/16/06 17:24 · For: One-Shot
i liked it alot


Name: Fly to Dawn (Signed) · Date: 06/28/06 7:06 · For: One-Shot
I enjoyed this fic until the very end - it wasn't too slow or too fast.
The Luna/Ron romance is all very sweet, but a little awkward as well, which I think suits the two perfectly.
Luna was very in-character, and her usually somewhat strange remarks and comments fitted into this story beautifully.
You showed us that romance isn't just kissing...
;-)


Name: chochang1994 (Signed) · Date: 05/31/06 16:04 · For: One-Shot
cute and well-written !


Name: lily_evans34 (Signed) · Date: 05/16/06 15:27 · For: One-Shot
Eek, I used the wrong html codes, sorry! I'm sure that makes my rambling even more confusing...


Name: lily_evans34 (Signed) · Date: 05/16/06 15:25 · For: One-Shot
Wow, I loved that. This story was so sweet, and completely believable, AU as it may be.

There are a few things that I thought I'd mention, though your overall grammar, characterization and everything were wonderful compared to some fanfics I've read:

[i]He didn’t know why he was being so silent. He was the only one in the dorm.[/i]

I would combine these sentences, as it just seems to unnessisarily slow down the fic when they are separate. I'd just say something like; "He didn’t know why he was being so silent, as he appeared to be the only one in the dorm."

[i]Ron walked down to the common-room, the broom behind his back [no comma] to shield [sounds better than 'keep'] it from view.[/i]

[i]Harry had just left for detention with Umbridge, and the only person in the common-room who would have taken notice of him, Hermione, was absorbed in her homework.[/i]

This sentence seems a bit long. I would put Hermione in front of "the only person..." because it seems a bit confusing, but then again, I doubt that change matters much.

[i]And so it was that Ron reached the Quidditch pitch; he landed just by the entrance and turned round—no, no one had noticed him.[/i]

I would separate this into two sentences and say, "And so it was that Ron reached the Quidditch pitch; he landed just by the entrance and turned around. No, no one had noticed him."

[i]He didn’t see anyone at first, but then spotted a figure, spread out atop the Gryffindor table, staring heavenward. It was a very familiar figure spread out atop the Gryffindor table.[/i]

That's a bit repetitive. I would say something like, "He didn’t see anyone at first, but then spotted a figure, spread out atop the Gryffindor table, staring heavenward. The figure appeared to be familliar, though Ron couldn't make it out from a distance."

[i]“Watching the stars, of course,” said Luna, nodding towards where she was looking.[/i]

I would change the "where" to something like "the area where" or "nodding upward", because they just appear to make an overall better impression than "where."

[i]And they were silent for a long time.[/i]

Sentences shouldn't be started with "and", so I would say something like "They sat in silence for a long time." Just for the sake of grammar.

[i]“You know, they’ve never told us that the stars were alive in Astronomy,” he said after a while..[/i]

One period. I'm not sure whether that was a type-o, or if you meant to do an elipses (sp?) but I don't think those are very appropriate here.

[i]“You do you know I’ve been flying a lot lately?”[/i]

I think you meant "how" where that first "you" is.

[i]“Yeah,” said Ron. But before he could go, he had to ask one more question.

“Why are you on the Gryffindor table?”[/i]

I believe that you should combine this into one paragraph.


Okay, that's it with my nit-pickyness. I may come off as a bit critical, but those are a few things that caught my eye in this lovely story. Really, I thought that this was wonderful. I love how Luna seemed to know about Ron more than he did. It seemed so... real, in a way. My friend (Oliver_Wood; I believe she left a review, no?) read this, and she can't get it out of her head that this actually happened in the books. This was just such a sweet story. Should I be able to rate this, you get a 10 all the way!


Name: Lilly Riddle (Signed) · Date: 04/09/06 2:16 · For: One-Shot
I thought this piece was absolutely brilliant!!!!!! You have a really good understanding of Luna and Ron's relationship and it came across very natural (I liked it better when Ron was with Luna than by himself though because he was slightly over - analytical) please write more!


Name: eloisemidgion (Signed) · Date: 04/04/06 20:16 · For: One-Shot
You did a wonderful job of keeping the characters in character. I didn't sense any awkwardness in the way the characters were depicted. I really like it.


Name: eloisemidgion (Signed) · Date: 04/04/06 20:15 · For: One-Shot
You did a wonderful job of keeping the characters in character. I didn't sense any awkwardness in the way the characters were depicted. I really like it.


Name: eloisemidgion (Signed) · Date: 04/04/06 20:15 · For: One-Shot
You did a wonderful job of keeping the characters in character. I didn't sense any awkwardness in the way the characters were depicted. I really like it.


Name: neville_is_my_hero (Anonymous) · Date: 03/17/06 19:23 · For: One-Shot
That was so good! I usually don't like luna/rons, but i loved this! 1000/10!!!!!!!!


Name: Sugar_Plum (Signed) · Date: 02/28/06 9:43 · For: One-Shot
This story's amazing. I think you wrote Luna perfectly. I wish it were longer, never have I seen a fic with the characters so perfect hehe. on my favourites, 10/10.


Name: Narwen3 (Signed) · Date: 02/27/06 16:13 · For: One-Shot
“The stars, of course,” she informed him. “You can tell, if you know them well enough. They’re full of emotion. Like that one—” she took an arm from behind her head and pointed at some faraway star, “—is quite unhappy tonight. Her best friend just shot away from her, leaving her all alone. It’s sad, isn’t it?” You know, I am under the distinct impression that Luna is highly intelligent for all her Loony-ness. She may be cracked but she has a strong hold on what is important in life and can understand emotions better than most people in the books. I'm not much of a Ron/Luna fan but I do like to wander around to read other things and I was not disappointed when I found this. Great job!


Name: Narwen3 (Signed) · Date: 02/27/06 16:12 · For: One-Shot
“The stars, of course,” she informed him. “You can tell, if you know them well enough. They’re full of emotion. Like that one—” she took an arm from behind her head and pointed at some faraway star, “—is quite unhappy tonight. Her best friend just shot away from her, leaving her all alone. It’s sad, isn’t it?” You know, I am under the distinct impression that Luna is highly intelligent for all her Loony-ness. She may be cracked but she has a strong hold on what is important in life and can understand emotions better than most people in the books. I'm not much of a Ron/Luna fan but I do like to wander around to read other things and I was not disappointed when I found this. Great job!


Name: midnight_me (Signed) · Date: 12/24/05 16:55 · For: One-Shot
You wrote Luna very well. It was a great one shot. I loved it, and I'm adding it to my favorites. 9/10


Name: Wise Owl (Signed) · Date: 11/25/05 1:42 · For: One-Shot
I am a total R/Hr shipper (still am) though I like how you included that moment between Luna and Ron. This was very creative and well written! Keep writing!


Name: unworthy_15 (Signed) · Date: 08/16/05 17:21 · For: One-Shot
This was just all too perfect. I am speechless.


Name: GryffindorGoddess (Signed) · Date: 07/28/05 21:09 · For: One-Shot
that's just adorable. You've got Luna down perfectly. Wish you would continue this fic.


Name: Crookshanks_Kneazle (Signed) · Date: 07/14/05 15:48 · For: One-Shot
Wow. I'm totally not a R/L shipper but this story was so cool! I liked the thing where it was like this: L: You know why I'm at the Gryffindor table. R: I do? L: You don't? R: No, I don't. L: Then neither do I. I liked that. It was cool. Wish it were longer :-} -I am told that means crying/sad. It doesn't look like that though...


Name: ConstantVigilance (Signed) · Date: 06/27/05 17:19 · For: One-Shot
I like, I like! I am all for the whole Ron/Luna thing (in fan fictions, not in the real books). This was very sweet. Great job!


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