who pulled bak the tapestry???? u have tomake another ch!!!!! u cant leave it hangin like tht!!!! i bet itsron nd they have more drama but he forgives them or its ron nd luna nd they r going out in secret to b/c ron thinks hermione likes him??? idk u have to put another ch though it would be soooo great
Author's Response: I know that it ends in what can seem like a frustrating way! I wrote this for a challenge a while back and have no plans to write more, I think I like it the way it is. **runs and hides from flying fruits and vegetables** :)
who pulled bak the tapestry u need to make a second chapter to this pleae!!!!please with a cherry on top!!!
Oh, this was so cute! I’ve been looking for a good Harry/Hermione story. This is such a nice sort of ‘missing moment’ from their fifth year. I thought you blended the alternate universe factor into canon very smoothly, and I love the idea of the relationship. The start was cute, how Harry is whispering to Hermione as she leaves the library. I thought that was a great way to begin the story and present the Harry/Hermione relationship. I loved how you based the title off that scene as well. Nice touch there!
I love the simplicity in this one shot. This isn’t some big, cliché scene where Harry and Hermione have just battled with countless Death Eaters and now Hermione is falling into Harry’s suddenly toned arms and Harry is kissing her passionately. No. Instead you chose to avoid that mess and write the relationship in a much simpler way, making it enjoyable to read and not overdone. You showed how two friends can get together without there needing to be some huge, overly dramatic crisis for them to realize their feelings for each other. This was so light and refreshing, and it was so nice to not be reading another typical romance story.
I liked the amount of hesitation you give Hermione when it comes to informing Ron about their relationship. She doesn’t want to hurt him in any way, and she still deeply cares about him, even if she doesn’t like him in that way. I’m glad you didn’t just have her fall completely in love with Harry, totally forgetting about Ron. She still cares about him, just as the canon Hermione would. Harry trying to reassure her that telling him would be the right thing to do was also very in character for Harry. I doubt he would want to keep that kind of a secret from him and risk hurting their friendship. You really kept them both in character very well in this aspect. Nice job!
I have some comments and constructive criticism…
I thought you could have put more description into your writing. For instance, you could have added some details about what the library was like while Hermione was studying or what the atmosphere in the common room was like that evening. Just a line or two about how a certain person, place, or thing looks really helps give readers enough to picture what the scene looks like.
“Harry, I think it is more fun this way. Very exciting.”
This same exact sentence was said twice in the story, which seemed just too repetitive. Re-wording the dialogue at least a little might help avoid this.
The relationship between Harry and Hermione just seems to be a little too unexplained. I could see a relationship form between them at a certain point, but I don’t think they could fall in love that quickly given the circumstances. Harry just got out of his relationship with Cho, they’re both dealing with O.W.L.s, and it’s been one of the toughest years they’ve had to face. I don’t think they could develop that deep of a relationship in that period in time. However, I still think this pairing could work very well in the story. I love the chemistry you write between Harry and Hermione, but I think toning it down might make it a bit more realistic. You say they just discovered how much they cared for each other, so would they really be calling it ‘love’ all of the sudden? Also showing us a little more of how they discovered their feelings for each other might help. I don’t think it’s quite believable in the story, but it’s definitely possible.
I really enjoyed reading this. It was such a nice one shot, and I thought the ending was just perfect! This was a fun story to read, and it left me smiling. I loved the ideas you put into it, and how you had them meet in secret. It was so sweet! Great work!
Katty – Knight of the Turnip Table
Aww! This is so sweet. I like the way you write Harry and Hermione, as well as telling the story from their different points of view. It is very affective.
However, it would be nice in some places if you showed rather than told or gave more explanation. For example, in the beginning, how has it been the strangest school year? To Hermione it might be strange because of Umbridge's teaching style, but to Harry it might be strange because of not being able to play Quidditch. So that would be a good place for more explanation. And showing rather than telling is sort of like exchanging "Harry was in love with Hermione" to "A smile lit up Harry's face and his heart started beating faster at the mere prescence of Hermione" (that's not a quote from this, I'm just giving an example.)
Personally, I would really like a second one!
Kate -> Knight of the Turnip Table
ooh please make the next chapter!!!!!!!!!!
is that it? No more?
This is GREAT!! I can't wait to start my owm series. Update as soon as possible!!!
I don't get it..how can the story be finished when it says at the end "Harry realized this was because someone had just pulled back the tapestry" shouldn't that mean that the story should continue??
Author's Response: I guess that depends on the author. I like to leave readings wondering once in a while. Besides I think some new endings are coming!
That was very cute! I loved how you have both Harry and Hermione's POVs. I don't really ship Harry/Hermione, but I love the way you wrote this, like they had to meet in secret, but were reluctant to tell Ron. It's the most canon Hr/H I've ever read, and very well written, too. Great job!
~ lily_evans34 aka mrs_tom_riddle
Author's Response: Thanks! I am not a devoted H/Hr shipper but this little plot bunny got a hold of me.
I think it was Ron. Cliché, but whatever!
Author's Response: It could be. My beta wanted it to be Dobby warning them about something. So it could be anyone! Thanks for the comment!
It's very nice and funny but too short.Never mind, I enjoed it very much!
Author's Response: It is very short it was just a plot bunny that I felt compelled to write about one day and did not turn into a story. Thanks for your sweet comments.
who was behind the tapestry?
Author's Response: That is a most excellent and astute question. Who would you prefer was behind the tapestry?
i enjoyed it. pursue writing
Author's Response: Thanks! I am so glad you enjoyed it.
This is a great story. I think that you really deserve this rate and I hope that in the future, you write stories that are this good.
Author's Response: I have no idea about future stories, but I am happy that you liked this one. Thanks for your comments!
Great story! A job well done! I deffinetly like this very much. I'm not much of an H/Hr shipper, but your story almost changed my mind! You're great at evoking emotions in your reader, and at the end you had me hoping that the person coming in wasn't Ron for H/Hr's sake! Though it probaly was anyway. *grumbles* I think that you really got Hermione in-character, and a lot of the things that she says and does are very realistic to the canon-Hermione! Harry, I think is very well written too! After HBP I can see him whispering to Hermione, to get her to come with him. The different P.O.V rarely works well for most authors, but you're really good at it. However, sometimes you repeat yourself in Harry's P.O.V, but you make up for it by the wonderful descriptions, and in-sight to what the character is thinking, such as: "This was nothing like his experience with Cho. He would get nervous around her; he was always felt wrong-footed. He never seemed to do the right thing. With Hermione, it was different. He felt like he fit with her. Even when they disagreed, which they did, he could feel the bond between them. In the past he had assumed this connection was just their strong friendship, but now he knew better. It was this bond that had caused him to kiss her the first time." Wonderful! Harry is very in-character, and it almost seems like something that JKR would write! 10/10!
Author's Response: I loved the detail in your review. I believe that whether it is a glowing review or a review that contains contructive criticisms, the author can always benefit from detail. This site's focus is writing and this kind of review helps so much. It was fun to write outside what I normally might do. Thanks for your kind comments and examples!
i LOVE this, super super super super great, 10/10.
Author's Response: Thanks for your sweet comments. After writing this I think there may be a small H/HR shipper deep inside somewhere after all.
i reallllly liked the story and cant wait for u to update:) just a hint (and you dont have to listen to me) but the second half was a little too repitive...im not trying to be mean, but like someone suggested to me...try putting it in one perspective or 3rd person
Author's Response: The alt POV concept is not something everyone goes for. Thank you so much for your comments!
ummm well that didn't go fr me umm no it didn't..... it was a nice try though neways keep up the gud work!
Author's Response: I understand that it is not to everyone's taste, thanks for your comments!
lol!datz so funny. Hey by da way iz it only me who thinkz dat half way through de story repeatz it self. lol!
Author's Response: You are right it does repeat itself :) Thanks for our comment.
oOoh i like it but there was like a little bit of Deja Vu in the scences with them in the tapestry. but i bet this will be better than what happened in HBP but i c u r a fan of H/G so i'll stop. lol
Author's Response: I hadn't thought about the tapestry connection before; interesting. I am not so much a H/G shipper, as I am (generally) a follower of cannon.