Reviewer: Twizzle_loves_Lupin
Date: 12/23/06 18:05
Chapter: The Prisoner of Azkaban and before

These are very good, but the flow could be improved, I think. The transition from haiku to haiku is a little jerky.

You also seem to change styles in the middle. At first the haiku are vague, then you start getting specific. I mean, love these haiku, but going from "the heavens..." to "acceptance to teach..." is a little sketchy.

I like these, but your flow could use some work. Good work, and have you considered the often-overlooked method of reading ALOUD to yourself? Often you can spot your mistakes more easily then.

Yours,
**Twizzle**

Reviewer: mad4marauders
Date: 12/07/05 14:21
Chapter: The Prisoner of Azkaban and before

hey, how about some more about his transformations? That's always the part that interests me most. You could compare the original ones to the ones with the wolfsbane potion. remember he said that it made them less painful or something? please update. I'll bet it's disheartening (sp? u no what i mean) when no one reviews. but if it helps, a lot of people who read don't have accounts, so they can't review. I used to be one of those readers, so I'm not lying. keep trying! :) :) :)

Author's Response: Wow, I have not been on this site for a while, so I didn't find this till right now. So sorry. Thanks for the review, and I'll post some more on the poems since you asked. ;) Thanks again, your right that it is kind of disheartening to not get one review, but I do know that many people who read don't write reviews, and I've been guilty of that myself. :o Bad me. I'll work on more about the transformations, it's always kind of fascinated me too. It seems like such a hardship for our mild and sweet Remus to have to go through that. Poor guy. Good thing we all love him so much. :)

You must login (register) to review.
Information
Find out everything you need to know about the site right here.


We have stories and authors in this archive.

:

RSS
Choose Theme:
SOCIAL MEDIA
     
MOST RECENT
Autumn At The Castle by Oregonian 1st-2nd Years
The 'treat' of autumn's glorious beauty is inevitably follow by the 'trick'...
The Youngest Death Eaters: Year III by DestinyMoonStar 6th-7th Years
Year 3 A year of hard choices and tough talks: Destiny learns about...
Out of the Blue by Secret Marauder 90 1st-2nd Years
This story weaves the tale of James and Lily from the day they met right up...
FEATURED
Five Christmases by hestiajones 1st-2nd Years
It took four Christmases for Andromeda Black and Ted Tonks to get together...
Coming Alive by The owl 6th-7th Years
Leanne Gamp hadn't wanted to be at that party, even though it was Christmas...
Graves by Oregonian 1st-2nd Years
In December of 1997, Harry visits his parents' graves in Godric's Hollow and...
CATEGORIES