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MuggleNet Fan Fiction
Harry Potter stories written by fans!

Name: Twizzle_loves_Lupin (Signed) · Date: 12/23/06 18:05 · For: The Prisoner of Azkaban and before
These are very good, but the flow could be improved, I think. The transition from haiku to haiku is a little jerky.

You also seem to change styles in the middle. At first the haiku are vague, then you start getting specific. I mean, love these haiku, but going from "the heavens..." to "acceptance to teach..." is a little sketchy.

I like these, but your flow could use some work. Good work, and have you considered the often-overlooked method of reading ALOUD to yourself? Often you can spot your mistakes more easily then.

Yours,
**Twizzle**


Name: mad4marauders (Signed) · Date: 12/07/05 14:21 · For: The Prisoner of Azkaban and before
hey, how about some more about his transformations? That's always the part that interests me most. You could compare the original ones to the ones with the wolfsbane potion. remember he said that it made them less painful or something? please update. I'll bet it's disheartening (sp? u no what i mean) when no one reviews. but if it helps, a lot of people who read don't have accounts, so they can't review. I used to be one of those readers, so I'm not lying. keep trying! :) :) :)

Author's Response: Wow, I have not been on this site for a while, so I didn't find this till right now. So sorry. Thanks for the review, and I'll post some more on the poems since you asked. ;) Thanks again, your right that it is kind of disheartening to not get one review, but I do know that many people who read don't write reviews, and I've been guilty of that myself. :o Bad me. I'll work on more about the transformations, it's always kind of fascinated me too. It seems like such a hardship for our mild and sweet Remus to have to go through that. Poor guy. Good thing we all love him so much. :)


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