it really is a good start
That was good! I liketh it.
Well done. Unlike most other RL/NT fanfics, your story had a well-delivered touch of melancholy in it, which I particularly enjoyed.
Your use of words was direct and easily digested. I also liked your revelations about their thoughts during their appearances in HBP. However, I admit that your ending was rather weak; a brush-up of finesse would have favoured it greatly.
This fanfic has considerable potential; it's truly a waste to leave it as a one-shot. If you do intend to continue it, we're all patiently waiting...
Great job! A very good one-shot, I don't know what nymph magic meant because I understood it very well and it wasn't iffy. But when you say her heart "shattered like glass into a million pieces," isn't that a simile, not a metaphor? Oh well!
Author's Response: Technically, that sentence was a simile, but it was just a sentence. The rest was a metaphor and that is what's important. Thanks for reviewing.
I didnt really understand it. it was a a bit iffy, i dunno, i didnt get much info from it. soz.
Great job. Please make it a two shot or a three shot. Give us all more!
Author's Response: I really wish I could, but I only wrote it for a challenge. I just don't have the time to keep with another ongoing story. Thanks so much for the compliment though. Maybe one day I might.