Eep! I loved it! Now if only someone dared Severus to kiss Lily... :)
Poor Severus! :( So, since I am reviewing this due to Transfiguration and that's about OCs, I'll concentrate on Kathryn.
First, I must say, I absolutely adore her. She practically jumps off the page. She's so vibrant and full of life, and simply adorable.
If I didn't know you were trying to make her Slytherin-y, I would have been absolutely enchanted. In fact, I still am with her.
The only problem is that it didn't turn out the way you wanted. But you know what? That's okay! And you know why? Because it works with this story!
I say...consider this story a success, and try a new OC with the planned characterization that you had for Kathryn. I mean, OCs can take a life of their own, and that's alright.
Beautiful characterization, albeit different from what you intended. I absolutely loved her.
The story wouldn't have worked without that particular characterization the way you wrote it. Her more bubbly personality set off Snape's very well.
Author's Response: Well, the more I think about it, the more I think that her personality can be both bubbly and Slytherin-y. I said, back in class, that she's multi-faced... She, like Draco and Snape, puts on a different "mask" so to speak when in the company of purebloods. When she's at school, she can be laid-back and such. Hmm... that gives me an idea. Thank you so much for your lovely review, Kumy! You got me thinking. I mean, really thinking.
Aw, that was a cute fic, you really had me feeling sorry for Snape! What particularly drew me in was the conversation between Snape and Kathryn at the beginning, specifically with ""That's the first game I've lost to you, ever." Kathryn shrugged. "No, it's just the first time I've won."" which made me giggle! It was in character for Snape and a nice way of introducing Kathryn. (Also the idea of 'Potions Club' made me smile!)
I liked your portrayal of the Marauders, a lot of their conversations made me laugh, but I think maybe you should work on Peter's characterization. I mean, he must have had some redeeming qualities for the others to be friends with him. I think he should have had a bit more input in their conversations.
Snape's comeback made me laugh - "Jamesy? Have you two finally admitted you're a couple?" what a great line! I thought Snape's characterization in all of this was very well done, from his being too stubborn to make up with Kathryn after her dating his worst enemy, to being nervous about whether Kathryn really liked him or not, then wanting to prove them wrong. I did feel sorry for him at the end though - such a sad last line! (I guess now we know why he's so miserable most of the time!) Well done!
Author's Response: Thanks for the review! I'm glad you felt sorry for Snape... I know that sounds really weird, but I am. That Potions Club has a huge history in my mind (I began making up the Snape and Kathryn interaction very long ago.... It's undergone changes, to say the least.) Peter's lack of action was lack of author attention to details. I just made him laughing so hard at Snape's expense, despite it's slight OOC-ness. That's, oddly enough, one of my pet peeves with MWPP. *sigh* I'll edit that. Thanks again, MadMar
As promised, here's my review.
Poor Snape. One kiss in his entire life. How can he stand living with the fat that his first kiss was embarassing.
Author's Response: Do you mean fact? ;) He probably doesn't live well with it, but I doubt his first kiss is on his mind at all times, you know? Considering the fact that he's on the run and sorting out his current life. But don't be suprised if Kathryn and Snape appear in another fiction.
Aw, poor Severus. Kinda makes you feel sorry for the guy. Good story :)
Interesting! Although I found a few quirks. First: I don't think James wore glasses, I think that's uniquely Harry's thing (I know, a small detail, but it jumped out at me). And I wonder about Kathryn standing up for Severus and him feeling grateful. In OotP, he yells at Lily for defending him. I think his pride might get in the way there. But otherwise I'm very pleased with this story. I feel bad for the guy and curious about Kathryn. I do hope you can continue this story based on the ideas you laid out in the forums!
Author's Response: No, James wore glasses. It's in OotP. But thanks for asking; it made me go back and double check!
It was cute. Jeez, there are times when i feel so sorry for Snape, and then other times I want to wring his neck. Grrr. If you plan on making other chapters, you're doing good.
That was excellent! I really admire your work. Brilliant style of writing, it kept my attention. The only thing I'd suggest would be extending the ending a little, unless of course you plan to have more chapters! Keep up the good work!!!
Author's Response: I've got a few ideas, it says finished, but I still am holding out that I can word my second chapter right. Thanks.
It was good. I'm looking forward to more chapters. Keep up the good work. 7/10
Author's Response: Sorry, midnight_me. I think this one will remain a one-shot. However, I have some ideas for both characters involved; in other stories, naturally. Thanks for the review.