I don't think that's fair of Fred and George; they cheated!
The moment Fred came in with drinks, I became suspicious.
Brilliant, Rob, simply brilliant.
The beginng with Mrs Weasley telling the story to a friend was interesting, however I think that the flow of the story would have been better if it could have ended with her finishing the story as well, or if you had worked it in more as an event than as a piece of the framework of the story.
The idea behind Ron and his Quidditch obsession is wonderful, you shamelessly exploit this in him, but still keeping him in character. One small nitpick here- if magic is used in a wizards house are they able to tell who did it? I thought not which was the trouble with Dobby and the pudding. So wouldn't only his parents (and not the ministry) know to punish him? Just something to think about.
The wishing water was a ingenious idea, Iiked the irony of Fred and George's products being used against them. If they created the product, would they know a way out? However, it seemed pretty ironclad the way you wrote it so I guess I answered my own question.
I love all the digs about Hermione and how Ron seems to be confusing her with the Canons. It certainly shows why she would lend her dress robes to the effort. Bravo Hermione.
I love the ending when Ron wakes up. You really made me feel bad for him, poor boy. It was witty and funny and altogether Fred and George. An excellent job!
Keep writing, I can't wait to see what you do next.
Author's Response: Goodness, thanks a ton! I absolutely love your idea of a continuation of Mrs. Weasley's conversation, the thought never even struck my mind. Sprinkle it in here and there, or just at the start and finish. Either way I think it's a genious idea. Also, you're right, the ministry can't tell who did the magic. You caught me! Thanks for pointing it out. As for Fred and George, I don't think they want anyone to figure out a "way out" of their products accidentally. It is possible though, and definitely something I never thought about. Anywho, thanks a lot! You were a huge help.
Since you begged ... I'm not as nice as the other gram -- more prone to ramble, though. I think your idea -- the not-quite-laugh-out-loud humor in the family and the sibling prank-ery -- is good, but it's not presented well. The structure of the story is sort of choppy at points and hard to follow and keep interested. Honestly, I didn't think it was funny -- and I know you're a funny guy. The way the sentences are grouped into paragraphs are awkward at times (but maybe that's just because large paragraphs intimidate me). The characterizations are off a little off. I don't think the characters would really say what they say in your dialogue in the manner that you write it. George and Fred should have more of a silly attitude. And with their brother, I know they would be constantly teasing him. And I can't imagine the twins without having them finishing each other's sentences. I see Ron as easily to get riled up and awkward. He's sort of laidback and lazy, too. I don't see him as capable of pranking the twins, but that's just me ... And about your actual writing: there are little things here and there that bother me. Such as the repetition of some phrases. Ex. "they were all caught up to date with the matches, even cheered on a team or two, but did not consider it a PASSION. A SLIGHT HOBBY, perhaps, but not a PASSION. But one of the nine Weasleys considered it more than A SLIGHT HOBBY..." Everyone has quirks to his or her own writing styles. Weird things here and there can be fixed by having someone else beta your story beforehand. You also have a very "coversational" tone to your narrating. I'm not sure if it suits this story very well, though. Final notes: I hope I haven't been too harsh or discouraging. I hope that some of my advice may help in the future. I really think that with work, you will write some great stuff (lack of better words).
Author's Response: *eyes widen* You weren't kidding with the length! Don't apologize, criticism helps way more than the compliments. The conversational tone isn't on purpose, nor do I tend on removing it. It's just how I write. *shrugs* Thanks for everything though. I'll work on it.
Oh, that was hilarious!! One of the subtler humour fics, no doubt..haha... I thought ALL of 'em were well in character, so that surely calls for a round of applause!! Great job on the whole. I love it!
Author's Response: Glad you liked it. I'm better with subtle humor. Can't get big belly laughs, but if I can muster a chuckle than I can accept that. I appreciate the review!
Iloved tjis story. That sounds exactly what Fred and George would do to Ron.
Author's Response: Glad you think so! I personally thought it was in character, myself.
I really like this story and the charactors act exactly like they would in the actual books.
Author's Response: What can I say? Thanks a ton.
lol that was a funny story.All the comments fred and george made about Hermione where great.I knew there was something fishy with the drink :)
Author's Response: Glad you liked. I hoped it would qualify for humor, I rather doubt my capacity for hilarity... I'll stop doing that now. Fred and George are two characters I've always had a knack for, so I believe I've grown accustomed to their tendencies, etc. Thanks for the review!
Ha Ha Ha! Good job! I think the blue really does balance the red hair, but it clashes too. Very fuuny. It was 30 seconds then... he fell asleep. Just like Gred and Forge. Ha Ha Ha!
Author's Response: Thanks! I was figuring the blue (especially periwinkle) would clash a lot with the flaming red hair, but I figured a compliment would be more humorous. Glad you liked it!