Oh no!!!! Harry!!!!! Lanette!!!!!!!
Aw... yay! This chapter was lovely! I love all the threads you're pulling into this story--it definitely keeps me awake. Even when I've had no sleep and am at work at 4:30am, like I said. You are amazing.
I love Hermione's reaction to things. It's very fitting and real all at the same time. I love how you portray the intensity of the situations, and basically, I just love your story. I'll give you a better review when I read your story not early in the morning, but I just love it. The end.
oooohhhh! that Lucius reference had me itching for more! I compare you to JKR so much with your ability to
a) lead us on with the plot
b) write in that way so there is a big cliffie at the end of every chapter
and c) you rock.
Author's Response: Oh my goodness!! Thank you so incredibly much. I'm very flattered. Thank you for reviewing :)
omg!!! that was so cool! will there be a Harry scene next? i miss those scenes...
Author's Response: I know... I need to finish up the plotline thread over in America with Lanette, and then we'll be back to Harry I, I promise! But thank you! I'm so glad you're enjoying it!
ohhhhhhhhh, how beautiful!!! That was lovely, well done. 10000000/10 for this one
Author's Response: Eeeee after your last review, I thought you might like this one ;) Thank you for loving it!
grrrrrrrrrr to greyback, grrrrrrrr I say. that was a very good chapter, i hope we here about hermione in the next one. 10/10. off to the next chapter...........
Author's Response: Yes.... Greyback's a nasty one. But I'm glad you appreiated this chapter.
well thank-you for the socks, and thank-you for the delightful chapter- no seriously (not sirius-ly) it was great. so very out there, but it was brilliant. well done 10/10
Author's Response: That one was so fun to write! It was completely different from anything we've seen before.
mmmmmmm, very interesting! I am guessing this time that Lanette will be back soon to help him? Anyway, your writing is fantastic, I love it so keep up the good work. 10/10
Author's Response: Maybbbbbbbbbeeee ;) But thanks!!
oooooooh, so I am guessing this brooch could have something to do with the Horcruxes, or could even be one? Is this your reason why Voldemort might not have used a ravenclaw item? It's all very good-well done 10/10
Author's Response: Very nice observations! Obviously I can't give you an answer, but you're certainly thinking in the right place. Thanks for reviewing!
mmmm, interesting. I am guessing she was the daughter or mother of Rowena Ravenclaw? Very good. 10/10
Author's Response: Who, Lanette Ravenclaw?? No no... Lanette Ravenclaw lived in the 1600's. However, she is a decendent of Rowena, yes.
sorry i didn't finishing reviewing last night- I had to log off because we were about to go see the DaVinci Code, very good movie....
Anyhoo, to the story-I love it! I love how mysterious it is, and I am anxious to read more. well done! 10/10
Author's Response: Yes, Da Vinci Code was great fun! Not the book, but still a good movie. And great! I'm so glad you're enjoying it. Thank you sooo so much for reading and reviewing. It makes a huge difference.
mmmmmmmm, interesting, very interesting! I like it though, very different but very good. well done.
Author's Response: Thank you so much!
This story is fascinating. That's the only way to describe it. Marie put it on the list of stories for me to read at work at 4:30 AM, and it is such a treat. I love the suspense you so carefully develop and build. The instricate storyline is very very well-written. I love Harry's situation as well as Lanette's.
Speaking of Lanette, what a brilliant character. I love the depth she has. I love her history and enthusiasm. I love her passion, or lack there of in certain situations. I love how naturally the founders fit into the story.
You've created a piece that fits into JKR's world so perfectly. Thank you!!!
Author's Response: Eeeeeeeeeeeeeee thank you thank you thank you! All your comments are immensely appreciated. I think I'll just go wallow in happiness now.
Oh! So many stories are unfolding, you are killing me with all the cliffhangers for each story you start another gets left behind. I must say, I was quite excited to see Lupin, I love him dearly, and if he could be a mentor for anyone it certainly is Ron. I must say, what you did for imagery in the last chapter you did for canon characterizations in this one.
Early on in the chapter Lupin spoke about death “soullessly”, oh, how terribly heart-wrenching to read, but it’s so true. The way you displayed his hardness was perfect. You showed not only his want to detach himself but also his want for life when he asks Moody “what if there are survivors”. You showed the mask he wear and the dying soul still in him. Oh, it was perfect. I am so impressed, and I am hard to please when it comes to Lupin.
“But this was just a regular town, with far more Muggles than wizards. They were defenseless!” the young man called Ron exclaimed.
Ron was also very well written. He doesn’t understand war, death, or pain that comes with the emptiness of the dead and the dying. What a harsh world to throw him into Haley, how do you expect him to go on living a lie? *cough* But really, his reaction to the “mission” is perfect, he doesn’t understand because he is still a child trying hard to be a young man and still failing because he doesn’t understand. Now if you can make the transition of him not understanding to finally grasping the truth, I might let you put him with Hermione…maybe, mind you. :P
There is to be no funny business beyond thatno sneaking off on rescue missions, etcetera
Thatno, should probably be “that no” if you haven’t fixed it already.
She shopped, and a shudder ran over her scrawny length
I doubt she shopped right in the middle of her story, so I’d make it “stopped” again if you haven’t fixed it.
There was one more thing I wanted to nitpick, the girl. Here she is in the midst of all this destruction, she watched a werewolf and death eaters pretty much take over and she tells the entire story of what happened with only a little emotion. Granted maybe it’s because she is a child she doesn’t understand what has happened but I have a feeling should wouldn’t be able to relive what happened so easily like she did for the Order. I would think she would be a little more hesitant or upset.
I really loved this chapter though, even though you are leaving Lanette and Harry hanging here. You know if it wouldn’t be plagiarism you could totally publish this. You are so talented.
What a treat for a mind this chapter was, lots of fantastic imagery, especially of the menagerie. I was as spellbound by the flying horses as Harry was, I really want to see one now.
I find that reading more and more about the Council makes me like them less and less, especially Idel, but that is probably just because I’ve seen her the most. These are really awfully stuck up people, granted I don’t suppose they get out much to learn some manners, or social skills. I feel really bad for Harry, if I were him I would have really lost my temper and blown my chances with the council, screwing over the universe so it’s a good thing I’m not him.
The whole scene when he got lost in the tunnels was really intense I was almost holding my breath and the suspense was intense. I would totally freak out in a situation like that, I almost did just reading about it. His little dream sequence was intriguing and I do feel bad for Ginny, and that is all I’m going to say because you know what I think about that otherwise.
He obliged, forgetting about Idel and his trangsgression completely.
I have a feeling this should be transgression unless you already fixed it.
While the others were beautiful, they seemed to represent a part of Harry that had long ego been erased by pain and loss.
*squee* That is a beautiful poetic line, I was thinking that as I was reading how he would always like Falcor better, and then I read what I was thinking, only better.
This really is a mystery to be solved though, more questions than answers were posed in this chapter, I hope to see more answers and questions in the upcoming chapters. I might actually catch up to you one day, we’ll see. The busy life of a senior…tres bien Haley.
love it!u have a great imaination
Curious, Lanette strode towards them with an arched eyebrow. So her birthday had not been forgotten completely-- How comforting, she thought wryly.
I must comment on this for a few reasons. One, I automatically compared her with Harry, who’s birthday was so often not acknowledged, and when it was – with meager and even depressing gifts that he might have been better off without. I have to muse at the difference in their reactions. Harry seemed saddened and dejected, whereas Lanette… doesn’t. I mean, she’s obviously not *happy*, but she seems more sardonic or just irritated with it than she is hurt. It reveals something about her character. That she’s either overconfident, or compensating for insecurities by pretending she’s not hurt. [Which, the second is often the true case on some level…] It also makes me think of what you said about loving to read people open presents. *hee* I like it, too :)
Poor Vera. Hm, well, I don’t know if I mean that. Because I don’t know her mother’s intent… did she just not bother to get something Lanette would truly love? Or is she really trying to make an effort by giving her daughter gifts that she herself would like to receive? I can’t say I’m fond of Vera, but I can think of two ways her character could be viewed as. One with pity, and the other with contempt.
Gifts and old books, as well as Lucius, though that’s less coincidental – how much our Chapter 11’s have in common *wink*
I love how you drop into backstory seamlessly, and then bring us back to the present again just as well. *happy writing sigh* But – what I really want to mention is what you write in that backstory, about the Magic. I absolutely love how you interpreted the idea, and I think it is absolutely perfect. Magic is something that exists and is utilized, not something that we ourselves create. Even more so, I love Lanette’s nose-scrunch and slightly prejudiced comment about Muggles. I can’t help but think she would fit as nicely with the Slytherins as she would the Ravenclaws… [maybe even better with the Slytherins… ]
Some lines I love, not for any particular reason, just because: ‘Even at the time, when “old” still referred to something that was used yesterday…’ -- ’It wasn't as if Lanette would perish in ignorance if she could not read the books in Deirdre's possession...
Something was manipulating the wind. Something evil. This chills me, and I just want to know more. And… I can’t help but be suspicious of Deirdre, though I can’t decide if she’s just a nosy girl or if there’s something darker.[And LOL at the Extendable Ears, I love that! Fred and George are shipping to America?!] >.> I’m watching her, especially while she’s observing Lucius so closely. Can’t have her trying to pull a Siobhan. And by the way…
“Madame Skynard has been entertaining a man.” That line killed me! I was thinking ‘She better bloody well not be!’ *giggle*
While we’re on the subject, I shall leave you with the best compliment I, Jenna, can give you: You described Lucius perfectly. Instantly recognisable. I’m all hot and bothered with just the mention. *dies and can review no more*
Wicked. Don't keep us waiting too long please. Your a great writer. I read quite a bit, and i find your writing is quite original, not many write as you do. Please continue writing, and what are the tio up to?
Can't wait to find out.
Haley, Haley… What am I to do with you? How is it that everything you do is brilliance? Am I going to marry someone… not human? ;) Anyway, perhaps I should stop with my fangirling for a moment (Ha! Very likely!) and try to focus on the review. I love that there has been a lot of Lanette lately, though I’m getting a little impatient for more Harry. Which also leads me to the fact that I can barely wait until I get to see Harry and Lanette together, not just in different parts of the same chapter but actually in the same scene. Though, at the same time as I really want that, I’m impressed by how you have taken the time to let us get to know Lanette before she bumps into canon HP characters. It’s been harder for you, of course, having had to design an entire world for Lanette instead of just transporting her to Hogwarts as one of those transfer students, *giggle*, but I can tell you that your effort has paid off well, because Lanette’s world does not only add information to her character but is also an extremely interesting story element on its own. And I must say I think you are doing a wonderful job as caretaker of this American magical environment, adding the perfect amount of detail and painting a colourful picture of the surroundings and daily life of a young, high-society witch.
Mmm… I love the parts concerning the source of magic. What you have written really matches my own, personal thoughts on the subject. And, you know, this is deep… Deep, but you still manage to keep it on a level that suits your story and makes it believable. In a few fanfics I’ve read, similar ideas have been introduced but in a much more pompous way, making it exaggerated – like giving a heavy line of dialogue to an actor who can’t do it justice and ends up sounding comical instead of awe-inspiring.
Toad-Girl is cute! She makes me happy! If she was going to Hogwarts, I bet she’d be a Hufflepuff. In fact, my reaction to her is pretty much the opposite of my reaction to Deirdre. Also, the toad reference is really good, as it sends your readers’ thoughts to both Trevor the Toad and Umbridge, fitting your story even better into HP-verse.
Deirdre… *shudders* Yes, she’s an excellent creation of yours, but so creepy. The “heavy lidded eyes” are so Bellatrix Lestrange, and this whole sentence just made me want to hide under my cover: Lanette was tall, but Deirdre had a sort of fierce presence about her that made her seem almost otherworldly. I wonder if she has got any British relatives?
Look! Yay me, I picked up on the tiniest mistake ever made: If offered more pain to her leg than comfort to her soul, but at the same time, Lanette was glad it was there. - The first word is supposed to be “It”, not “If”. =)
WHAT is Lucius Malfoy doing on that side of the Atlantic? What mysterious business is Mr Death Eater up to? Gah, I hate to put it simply, but the fact is that I just really love your writing style and this product of it. There are so many levels of SotS, so many details, yet there is no cluttered feeling whatsoever. Malfoy showing up here, the Spirits of the Storm, Harry’s quest, Lanette’s loneliness and her legacy, Ron and Hermione’s love… it all just blends so nicely, just like the different images in your graphic art.
Extendable Ears! What an amazing detail! And, wait… yes, that sort of confirms my suspicions that Deirdre must know someone in England… But who? =)
Falcor is from The Never Ending Story--he's the luck dragon. Can I have a cookie now? Amazing prologue by the way.