MuggleNet Fan Fiction
Harry Potter stories written by fans!

Name: bluebottle (Signed) · Date: 05/31/10 6:41 · For: Chapter 8: Shaken by Violence
You're one of my favorite authors, so do take this as constructive criticism. Does Potter know that titmouse is a kind of songbird? :D

Name: DarkJoker (Signed) · Date: 08/27/07 12:44 · For: Chapter 8: Shaken by Violence
Do tell me you aren't going to ever stop writing this story, it's too good...there shouldn't have to be an end to such creative writings! :P

Name: kristeen_jeanne123 (Signed) · Date: 08/16/07 3:21 · For: Ever Swiftly Moving
very good!!!! i like how you portray snape

Name: SarahR (Signed) · Date: 07/30/07 14:37 · For: Ever Swiftly Moving
your writting is fantastic! its one of the best fan fics iv read. its mature and well constructed and i look forward to any updates! hopefully soner rather than later!

Name: SarahR (Signed) · Date: 07/30/07 14:34 · For: Ever Swiftly Moving
your writting is fantastic! its one of the best fan fics iv read. its mature and well constructed and i look forward to any updates! hopefully soner rather than later!

Name: leafie (Signed) · Date: 01/16/07 6:20 · For: Ever Swiftly Moving
wow this whole story rocks uve got snapes character perfect well done!!

Name: winky123 (Signed) · Date: 10/23/06 9:29 · For: Ever Swiftly Moving
Another interesting chapter. I really do enjoy it when you add in bits and pieces from canon like Severus' 'hobby'.

His relationship with Lily is progressing wonderfully. To me it seems you are working at just the right pace. Keeping us readers interested without rushing into anything. The Veritiserum project is interesting and either I have forgotten or it has yet to be mentioned who Snape plans to use it on. Either way I will find out eventually.

There is only one thing I find confusing and it is hardly your fault. It is just unfortunate that Lily's last name is Evans and Rosier's first name is Evan. I've had a bit of trouble remembering who is in the conversation at times :S

I am loving Severus interaction with the Slytherins. I thought it quite amusing when Severus caught out Florence and the beginning of the chapter. It's also good to see Severus and Regulus gradually getting along.

I wonder what his mother is up to??

Well keep up the good work. I always look forward to the next chapter. :)

Name: Lioness06 (Signed) · Date: 10/12/06 16:27 · For: Ever Swiftly Moving
Nice to see another chapter. I really like the way Lily's and Snape's friendship (if you can even call it that) is developing. Poor James - he doesn't have Lily to moon over in Potions class ;)

Author's Response: Yes, I don't want to throw them into anything because that would be unnatural. James is pathetic, isn't he? Heh. Thanks for reviewing!

Name: NoxSomnium (Signed) · Date: 10/12/06 13:49 · For: Ever Swiftly Moving
Uh-oh. Divorce? or Doctor. Then she'll get killed either way. Not that I ever make assumptions :).

Author's Response: I won't tell until later, but ha. Yes, in the end, everyone dies. :) Thanks for reading!

Name: NoxSomnium (Signed) · Date: 08/12/06 9:41 · For: Chapter 8: Shaken by Violence
You know, so many authors kept saying they would be able to update more once summer came, then summer got here and they updated less. *sigh* It didn't actually occur to me that S.'s attackers could be the Marauders until this chapter. Last chapter I assumed it was the jealous potions duo going to warn him about the evils of being nice to the non-pure. But you surprised me either way.

I like your Lily. She's nice, and imperfect. Perfect Lily's are kind of annoying. I feel like I should know what's going on but I can't remember. That's one of the problems with having no memory. Yay update!

Author's Response: Yes, sorry about that. I have a full-time job year round, and though I'd hoped summertime would allow for a little extra writing time, it hasn't. I apologize, but it really can't be helped. Anyhow, yes, I'm glad you were surprised. Rookwood will be developed even more in future chapters. I'm happy you like Lily--I work really hard to keep her character true. Thanks so much for leaving a review!

Name: Lioness06 (Signed) · Date: 08/11/06 22:12 · For: Chapter 8: Shaken by Violence
I've been reading your story, but I don't think I've reviewed before , though I'm very glad to see an update. Great chapter - I think its great how you have all the characters down pat, espeically the marauders even though they aren't the main characters of the story. And its always very interesting to see Snape's side of things.

Author's Response: Thank you, Lioness, I'm glad you like this story. I try really hard to keep the Marauders close to canon--or, at least, how I imagine them to be. I appreciate you taking a moment to review!

Name: bluebottle (Signed) · Date: 06/23/06 10:37 · For: The Draught of Living Death
this is going really well. when are you updating?

Author's Response: Right now I'm in the middle of a deadline for an original fic contest, which will wrap up at the end of June. APoE will be updated shortly after that...early July. I promise!

Name: winky123 (Signed) · Date: 06/04/06 9:49 · For: The Draught of Living Death
The ninnies that think Snape is part vampire...genious. I loved the comment from Rosier too, "You won’t be thinking that later, when you’re lonely and cold in your bed.” I doubt Severus cared much, but it makes me wonder how many nights he did have to spend cold and lonely in his bed.

The idea of Slughorn selling items on the 'black market' is quite interesting. I can't eblieve I didn't think of it before. Especially after his drunken night in HBP.

I am so excited about this new feeling towards Lily. I loved the mention of amortentia smells, I think I would have been embarrassed if I had accidently told everyone what appealed to me.

I like that you have incorporated the notes we learn of in HBP and that you have given credit to both Lily and Snape. It makes sense really, with all the praise about Lily that Slughorn was giving. Fabulous.

Author's Response: What a great review, thanks so much winky! I like that you found the vampire!Snape amusing, because I get a kick out of that theory...so ridiculous. And I do wonder how honest Slughorn is--granted, he's one of the most pleasant Slytherins we've met thus far, but he is a Slytherin, and I have a feeling it goes far beyond his little "collection" of students. It's funny about the Amortentia--I was all excited to have it the very first lesson, thinking that in HBP it hadn't been introduced until later. However, when I went to do some research, I realized it had been in the first lesson. Oh well. I guess those sorts of things just stick with me, even if I don't realize it! And yes, Lily and Snape's collaborations will continue...I've got a few tricks up my sleeve yet! Thanks again for taking the time to leave a thoughtful review.

Name: MaraudersAffair (Signed) · Date: 06/02/06 23:57 · For: Ravages of Spirit
Wow, that was one of the best Snape characterizations I have read in a long time. Actually, the whole Slytherin group is characterized with great detail. I loved the dialogue. You have a knack for person to person interaction.

Great job!

Author's Response: Thank you, MaraudersAffair, I'm glad that you like my characterization of Snape. As for the Slytherins--they're the best. I could write them forever. Glad you like the dialogue--I think I play-act it out in my head and that's why it works out so well. Again, I really appreciate your thoughtful review!

Name: Kerian (Signed) · Date: 06/02/06 17:53 · For: Dawning Recognition
A solid update, I like the way Severus's mum tried to talk to him, and I just love the way you have the Slytherin boys interacting together. The comments about the new Head Boy and Girl were good too. Nice update!

Author's Response: Hm. Chapter six was updated a while ago, so I do hope that you saw Chapter seven there as well! Glad you like the Slytherin boys--they're my favorites. Thanks so much for reviewing!

Name: winky123 (Signed) · Date: 04/21/06 10:01 · For: No Socialite
That was interesting indeed. I have never actually put alot of thought into why Severus pursued the Dark Lord. The Dark Arts I could understand but not Lord Voldemort himself.

You handled the chapter well. Naturally Lord Voldemort would be a very motivational speaker. He would have to be at the start.

I am thoroughly enjoying the back story to Severus as well, his family interaction and home life. As for Tobias' dialect, I wasn't put off at all. The chapter still flowed well.

One more chapter and I am all caught up. Excellent!

Author's Response: It's still a mystery, but I think a lot of it has to do with the need for acceptance and a thirst to prove oneself. That, however, will come later. Voldemort and Dumbledore are the most difficult for me to write. I'd much rather take on the minor characters. You mentioned not being put off by Tobias' dialect, and that's a relief. I'm finding it quite a pain, but if it comes off all right, then perhaps it's worth it. I'm really glad you like the story--thank you for reviewing.

Name: winky123 (Signed) · Date: 04/20/06 10:33 · For: The Problem With Fate
You know, the thought of Lily finding out that Snape was a half-bood never even occurred to me.

You sure made it easy for me to feel sorry for him. Especially described in that particular attire. A charity shop indeed. It seems the 'new' sets of clothes wont be much better.

Talking about trivial things such as clothing, I did rather enjoy this little reference, 'She looked, Severus decided, absolutely ridiculous in the hideous ensemble.' Oh, if only he knew. Hehe.

I am rather looking forward to what happens when Severus returns for sixth-year. For a minute there, I thought LIly was going to be boarding the same train as him. I'm quite glad that didn't happen.

Anyway to finish off my little review I just have to comment on this line, 'His progress was slowed when he found himself on the heels of a very large and very slow old man.' Isn't it rather annoying when that happens. I know I'm impatient enough for that to bug the heck out of me.

Author's Response: Of course, we don't know if Lily knew the truth, but this certain part works into a few other ideas that I have for future chapters. And I'm really glad you caught on to the Snape/Grandmother Longbottom reference (Augusta, I think? I can't remember off the top of my head). I added that for my own amusement, so I'm glad others caught it, too. And by the way, being stuck behind slow people bothers me as well, and Severus doesn't strike me as a patient person, either. (Except, perhaps, when he's brewing potions.) Thanks again for leaving such a thoughtful review. I appreciate it.

Name: winky123 (Signed) · Date: 04/19/06 8:52 · For: Ravages of Spirit
A marvellous start. Severus is very high on my favourite character list and I think you have done his character justice. His thoughts and decisions were dead perfect to the way I think he would have acted in fifth year.

I also like that you have set up your supportive characters. Right from the start I can already see that all the Slytherins mentioned have their own personalities and quirks.

Well seeing as I am dying to know what comes next I think I will go read the next chapter.

Author's Response: Thank you, winky. I've really enjoyed creating different personalities for the Slytherins--for once, I'm really glad JK hasn't given us too much information--it gives me room to play. I really appreciate that you've read this and taken the time to review. Thanks so much.

Name: femmefatale (Signed) · Date: 03/02/06 0:28 · For: No Socialite
Hey, I love the story. I have to agree with previous comments about the way Voldemort is represented, especially the mixed reactions he recieves. It really feels like you've paid careful attention to canon and to the characteristaion of characters. I find your story very enjoyable, and believable, and very well-written. I understand you're busy, but well - I simply can't wait for your update! Great work!

Author's Response: Thank you, femmefatale. I'm trying to stay as close to canon as I can, with the exception of ages and things, which have really been skewed since JK released the Black family tree. The next chapter is up, and I hope you enjoy it. Thanks so much for taking a moment to leave a review.

Name: BlackFeathers (Anonymous) · Date: 01/01/06 14:23 · For: Ravages of Spirit
A great story, I love the way you've written Snape as being driven and it's refreshing to see one where he's not too self-pitying. The interactions between the Slytherins are shaping up nicely (I don't know how you handle them all). Especially commendable is your authentic British dialect (though being from the South, all Northerners sound like that to me!). The cussing is good. I actually thought this was written by a Brit, it was only one or two words that gave you away. If you like, I'll message you which ones (I'll have to read again, it really was only a couple).

Author's Response: Thank you. I do believe that Snape is more driven than anything, really, judging from his adult character. I can't picture him any other way--he has a large thirst to prove himself (and I hope someday that he does, without becoming a martyr). I do love all of the Slytherins--they come alive in my head and I just can't stand not including them in my journey. I'm really surprised you think my dialect is acceptable--really, the extent of my knowledge stops at reading british literature and extensive time on british slang sites and other dialect sites. Research is my lifesaver. Please do let me know what gave it away, and I'll see if I can change it. My name is the same on the forums. Thank you again for leaving such a nice and thoughtful review.

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