Reviews For Last Chance
Reviewer: songbook99
Date: 02/01/06 18:05
Chapter: Not Falling

This chapter definitely kept me guessing but is a great addition to the story. I like the fact that you have switched back to Lily’s point of view for this chapter because it opens up the whole story to see the events through her eyes as well as through James’ eyes. Also, I think it was a great idea to put the flashback into this chapter so that we know what actually happened the night Lily figured out that it was James’ dad who died over the summer and that was why he was acting so strangely. I wondered about whether or not she said anything to Cassie and Andy since James hadn’t said anything to his friends at that point. It does make me wonder, though, whether or not Lily’s friends filled James’ friends in on it while Lily and James were having their little chat in that empty classroom. But it was also during the flashback that I noticed something that appeared odd to me in this line: ‘ “Lily,” Cassie asked cautiously, “Are you feeling alright?” ‘ In accordance to the rules about dialogue, either the comma after ‘cautiously’ should be a period or the ‘A’ in ‘Are’ should be ‘a’ instead. Other than that one spot, though, the writing in this chapter was superb and very much up to what I have come to expect from your writing. I really enjoyed reading this chapter because it gave some insight into what is going on in Lily’s head in regard to events occurring outside Hogwarts and how they may affect her life. Of course, my favorite part of the whole chapter is Lily’s outburst about not falling for James. Everyone but Lily has realized the person she is really trying to convince is herself as they have all recognized her actions for what they really are – the actions of someone in love with someone else. It is a very funny scene, especially since we all know they end up together.

As for your questions, here are my answers. I think my favorite character so far has been Andy because she’s a little more outspoken than Cassie and seems to have a little more to add to the story than Cassie does. Also, Andy seems to be the very logical one in the face of Lily’s emotional turmoil and able to calm her down. I prefer the stories where Lily and James get together toward the end of the middle of the story. If they get together in the beginning of the story, there usually isn’t enough of a build up to explain why she finally relented and decided to go out with him. If they get together too close to the end, there really isn’t enough time to show that they had a real relationship and not just a happily-ever-after relationship cut short by Voldemort. So, towards the end of the middle of the story gives enough time for build up and enough time to show that they didn’t turn into the perfect couple who lived happily ever after until they were murdered. I don’t really have a favorite quote since I would have to go back through all five chapters to find it, but I think there are quite a few great lines in your story. My favorite chapter title so far has to be ‘Not Falling’ because it just sounds really interesting and made me curious to see what or who was not falling. Like the favorite quote, I don’t have a favorite chapter either because I think they are all good and make a great story when put together. Okay, I think that is all and I will stop now that I’ve finished typing an extremely long review. I hope you don’t mind.



Author's Response: I DEFINATELY don't mind long reviews! I'm glad you think my story is worthy of them, actually. The way it is in my head, Cassie and Andy did not tell Sirius and Remus about his dad, because they didn't want to rat him out i guess. althought that wouldn't really be ratting, but you know what I mean! yeah, so i think that james told them later, like the end of the day, after lily confronted him. (i actually know this, not just think, as i imagined the whole thing up in the first place! lol.) I also really like the chapter title Not Faling, which is pretty funny as it was something else just a little while ago (a week or so). it wasn't a good chapter title, so i had the idea to change it to that! glad you like it, and as always, glad for the review!

Reviewer: songbook99
Date: 02/01/06 18:04
Chapter: Sectumsempra

Another great chapter to read. I like the way this chapter followed right on the heels of the last one so we, the readers, got to see the immediate aftermath of James and Lily’s little interlude before breakfast. Of course, there wasn’t really much going on that had to do with that, but it was good to see that anyway because it showed that their moment together didn’t really change everything immediately. What I really liked about this chapter, though, was the fact that you show them in class. I felt bad for James in Transfiguration, but I think you did a great job of portraying a compassionate McGonagall without having her slip out of character.

However, there were a few things I noticed in this chapter in regard to the writing. The first thing is that you should be careful when you use dashes because there should be a space before and after a dash, and you forgot the space before the dash twice at the beginning of the chapter. Also, something which is probably just a typo, you forgot the opening quotation marks in this line: ’ Frank Longbottom, Lucius Malfoy.” The boys glared at each other evilly.’ There should be a double quotation mark right before ‘Frank’ as that appears to be a direct quotation and you use a double quotation mark right after the period after ‘Malfoy.’ Another spot that is probably just a typo is the bolded area in this sentence: ‘Hatred had been mutual as soon as they had laid eyes oneachother’ I think that should actually be three words and read ‘on each other’ instead. These three little things didn’t really detract from the chapter itself, but I thought I should mention them so you could keep a look out for stuff like it in the future.

All in all, I found this chapter to be as pleasant to read as the three preceding it. I like the way you have the Defense Against The Dark Arts Professor pairing up the students and putting Sirius and Remus with the girls they like while putting James with Severus. That was quite a nice touch to that scene. Of course, the fact that Lily followed Sirius and Remus out of class as they took James to the Hospital Wing was a great touch as well, especially when James woke up and was completely surprised to hear her voice. Ending the chapter with his dream was very interesting because it shows how alone he was feeling at the point when he lost consciousness. It will be interesting to see what happens next. I can’t help wondering whether or not Snape got in trouble for using Sectumsempra the way Harry got in trouble for it. Very nice chapter.



Author's Response: again, thanks so much for the super in depth review! (are you a beta? you should be if u aren't!) yes, you definately have an eagle eye. I will be sure to fix those mistakes. i am really glad for the review, as most of them just say something like "oh my god i love your story update soon" etc. (but i definately like those too!) so anyway thanks soooo much!

Reviewer: songbook99
Date: 02/01/06 18:03
Chapter: Confrontation

This chapter was very interesting to read because of how much it focuses on James. I really like the way you started this chapter with James’ dream of the night his father died; it really shows how horrible the experience was for James. Another thing I liked was how compassionate Lily was to James when she confronted him about knowing what happened. She wasn’t overly sweet but she was just there for him so he could get it out. The only thing that really bothered me happened at the very end when James and Lily pulled themselves together and walked into the Great Hall. You don’t really explain why her friends and his are suddenly good friends and sitting together for breakfast when they hadn’t sat anywhere near each other the night before. Don’t get me wrong, I like the fact that they are all friends now, but it seemed really sudden and there wasn’t much of an explanation for it. Other than that spot, I thought this chapter was really good. The writing flowed very nicely and made this chapter that much more fun to read. I am looking forward to the next chapter to see what new surprises are in store for everyone.

Author's Response: thanks very much for the compliments! i definately know what you mean about the last bit... i didn't really spend a lot of time ending it, which i guess is pretty important! i think, in the nearish future, I'll probably rework that! so thanks for alerting me! ~mk

Reviewer: magick
Date: 01/31/06 20:53
Chapter: The Christmas Ball

I loved McGonnagal and her match making! Awesome! Keep it up!

Author's Response: it does sort of seem like something she would do, doesn't it? lol. thanks for reviewing!! i really looooove reviewers! anyway, new chapter should be up soon! for everyone else, if you want to be added to the update list i have created, to notify you when a new chapter is up, send me a comment on my author page with the subject "last chance email update list" thanks everybody!! <33 and peaceee, mary kate

Reviewer: Megan Radcliffe
Date: 01/31/06 18:12
Chapter: The Christmas Ball

Well im second *sticks out tounge* lol this was a really good chapter loved wht remus did in the morning and sirius' boxers! lol gr8 update soon!!

Author's Response: haha, thanks, i loved that stuff 2... i was in such a hyper mood when i wrote that! (actually that's been most of the time lately... i dn't know what's gotten into me!) thanks for reviewing!! <33 mk

Reviewer: GWeasley
Date: 01/31/06 14:51
Chapter: The Christmas Ball

Wow I'm the first to review so cool. I liked it but it was over realy fast and it is soooooo mean to leave that question just hanging there update sooon :) And as for the someone who is going to die I think it would be one of lily's friends or else someone we don't know yet becaues everyone else has to live :p

Author's Response: i noooo i was mean! i was writing it and i was even thinking, "wow, i really HATE it when i'm reading a story and it ends like this"! haha. sorry! but fun for me. glad u liked it and i'll be sure to update soon!!!

Reviewer: GWeasley
Date: 01/30/06 12:30
Chapter: Not Falling

well I liked it alot I was disapointed when it was over. I'll answer your first two questions but I don't realy have an answer for the rest, well first of all I don't know which chacter I like the most I like them all and as for the second question I don't like it when it takes the whole story for them to get together but some strugle and some fights make it better. In a real relationship there are always little fights but this is there last year and they have to have enough time to fall so deep in love that they want to get married asap.:) Good start though andf on a nothe note what takes the que so blody long the post the chapters!!!!!!!!!

Author's Response: thanks for your review!! i think i sort of agree with u, and i think they might finally start going out in maybe 2 chapters or so. i will give u something 2 mthink about... someone will die!! haha. now you're wondering... (hmm who could it be??) so tjanks for you review i really appreciate it. im sorry about the mods taking so long to add it...i hope after all this it gets accepted!! peace <33

Reviewer: wsc12b
Date: 01/24/06 19:03
Chapter: Not Falling

i thought it was excellent u had a truly orginial touch 2 the story nice job

Author's Response: aww thanks so much!! i'm really worried about it turning to a cliche, so i'm trying trying trying not to make it into one. its my absoluteley BIGGEST fear about the story. NEW CHAPTER IN QUEUE!!! thats for all of you fans!! {i loooove having fans!!} oh, and wsc12b, i have another story up on here, a one shot, check it out!! i dont have 2 many reviews. ....well i can never have 2 many! but i mean i dont have a lot... nayway, ta ta!! <33 mary kate

Reviewer: Megan Radcliffe
Date: 01/11/06 23:38
Chapter: Not Falling

ur story is the greatest!! umm... here are the answers to ur questions... 1) Who is your favorite character? Why? James and Sirius i no thats two but they are both so funny together!! 2) do you like it better when James and Lily get together sort of in the beginning of the fic or the end? I like it better in the middle part of the story if James and Lily get together if thats wht u mean 3) what is your favorite quote? umm i dunno.. "Evans will you go out with me?" lol 4) what is your favorite chapter title? Emotions and Flashbacks 5) what is your favorite chapter? Why? umm i have 2 the first one is Sectumsempra cause i love the way Lily follows Remus and Sirius to the hospital wing and the second one is Confrontation cause it sweet how Lily cares so much about James... UPDATE SOON!! cya!!

Author's Response: Thanks so much for reviewing!!! I'm glad you like my story so much. I am hoping to update over the weekend (mlk weekend). so check back soon!!! <33 mary kate

Reviewer: longbottom4life
Date: 12/29/05 10:54
Chapter: Not Falling

hi again!! sadly we have stopped reading your story in class because we have to read this book called journey to river sea, its okay i guess but its no where near as good as yours!! my teacher says that we can start reading them once we finish it(because were in sort of adventure/ drama unit) she thinks that its going to give us something awesome to look forward to, little does she know were all reading them right now anyway!!you wont get any reviews from them i dont think, ( my teacher wouldnt let us when we were reading your stories as a class, so know they all think their not suppose to, or theyll get in trouble or something despite all ive said to convinse them, i think theyd rather have ne put at riskl!) anyway, great story!!! you definetley have the writers touch!!!

Author's Response: lol, i do that too sometimes (click the button 2 times.) in fact i just did. i'm pretty impatient. thanks for the review tho.... oh yeah and check out my author page. :))

Reviewer: longbottom4life
Date: 12/29/05 10:54
Chapter: Not Falling

hi again!! sadly we have stopped reading your story in class because we have to read this book called journey to river sea, its okay i guess but its no where near as good as yours!! my teacher says that we can start reading them once we finish it(because were in sort of adventure/ drama unit) she thinks that its going to give us something awesome to look forward to, little does she know were all reading them right now anyway!!you wont get any reviews from them i dont think, ( my teacher wouldnt let us when we were reading your stories as a class, so know they all think their not suppose to, or theyll get in trouble or something despite all ive said to convinse them, i think theyd rather have ne put at riskl!) anyway, great story!!! you definetley have the writers touch!!!

Author's Response: thanks again for the review! stinks that you can't read harry potter anymore, but journey to the river sea by eva ibbotson is a really good book, i think once you get into it you'll really like it. i'm so jealous, you guys get to read cool books- we have to read, like, the canterbury tales. ugh! but anyway, i think it is really cool that you and your friends like my story- it makes me proud, lol. i'm sorry i haven't updated in forever, but i just have a lot going on and stuff. I might finish chapter 6 this week, as its vacation. thanks for encouraging me to continue my story!! and i do have another fic, it's called A Thoroughfare of Woe (sad i know) under dark/angsty. i know the category is depressing and whatnot, but i kind of like writing it since basically it's what the books are... anywho, im going on and on!! but thanks SO much for the review, i appriciate it so much.

Author's Response: thanks again for the review! stinks that you can't read harry potter anymore, but journey to the river sea by eva ibbotson is a really good book, i think once you get into it you'll really like it. i'm so jealous, you guys get to read cool books- we have to read, like, the canterbury tales. ugh! but anyway, i think it is really cool that you and your friends like my story- it makes me proud, lol. i'm sorry i haven't updated in forever, but i just have a lot going on and stuff. I might finish chapter 6 this week, as its vacation. thanks for encouraging me to continue my story!! and i do have another fic, it's called A Thoroughfare of Woe (sad i know) under dark/angsty. i know the category is depressing and whatnot, but i kind of like writing it since basically it's what the books are... anywho, im going on and on!! but thanks SO much for the review, i appriciate it so much.

Reviewer: heartachin4harry
Date: 12/26/05 21:40
Chapter: Not Falling

Hey, I love your story! I'll answer your first 2 questions. 10 I'd have to say Lily, becasue I love how she goes from hating and yelling at James into liking him, or at least caring for him. 2)I liek it when they get together in the middle. The end is too late, there isn't nough romance, but the beginning tis too early, it's more fun when they fight a bit. Update soon!

Author's Response: thanks for reading and reviewing! i haven't updated in awhile, and was considering dropping the fic, but i think i will bite the bullet and continue. i'm not making any promises, but maybe i'll write chapter 6 this week (it's my school vacation). so look out for a new chapter soon! and thanks for answering my q's, i really appriciate it!! xo mary kate ox

Reviewer: Chris_04
Date: 11/26/05 10:05
Chapter: Not Falling

This is such a great fic! I love it! I'll go ahead and answer your questions: 1) Who is your favorite character? Why? I dunno, probably Lily. I find myself to be very much like her. 2) do you like it better when james and lily get together sort of in the beginning of the fic or the end? Oh, definately at the end, without doubt. 3) what is your favorite quote? ...Er... not sure. 4) what is your favorite chapter title? "Emotions and Flashbacks". Don't know why. 5) what is your favorite chapter? Why? I like them all :) They're all great :)

Author's Response: thanks so much for the compliments! my questions are random, i know, but i want to see what the general population thinks about my stuff! glad you like lily as she is one of the main characters... though i do find myself to be kind of a cross between cassie and andy. but i bet my friends won't think so. it's just the way i see them... i should base characters on my friends, maybe then sarah will give herself a break from the harry/ginny to read my story. but whatever, it's not like i've updted in awhile so i can't blame her. i'm leaning towards having lily and james get toether earlier in the fic so they can have lots of adventures, tho. (what did lily and james do to thrice defy voldemort anyway.... made you think didn't i!!!) but it's going to be a loooong fic so it might be around chapter ten, i don't know quite yet. can you tell i havn't quite planned tis totally out yet?? lol. anyway, thanks for the cool review! ttyl ~Mary Kate~

Reviewer: fairiesandcream
Date: 11/25/05 4:58
Chapter: Not Falling

Hey. Great story! Ok now I'll answer your questions. I think my favourite character is Lily.. or possibly James. I usually like it when they get together near the begginning, but I can wait. I had a little look through and my favourite quote is probably where James says "What girl? Have I heard this question before. Yesterday, maybe?" I think my favourite chapter name is probably Confrontations, but they're all pretty good and my fav chapter was 5, cause I always love the chapter where Lily realises that she likes James =) Please post the next chapter soon P.S. Don't worry about not getting too many reviews, I had to ask someone how to do it cause I couldn't figure it out and I reckon a lot of people who read stories on this site aren't logged in (I wasn't for ages) P.S.S. I'm gonna add your story to My Favourites if that's OK with you.

Author's Response: Thanks for answering all my questions! You rock! I also kind of like it when they get together earlier in the story, so I'm leaning towards that though its harder than it seems! And OF COURSE it's OK for you to ad me to your favorites, I take it as a huge compliment!!! Thanks so much for reviewing, I'll have the next chapter out soon. While I was babysitting I found this really great quote in a children's book I was reading to the kids whjich was called The Sunflower House by Eve Bunting. It's “They whisper songs of heat and rain And things too secret to explain. I see the stars play peek-a-boo And wish a wish that can’t come true.” So that should be written in one of my chapters, maybe the next! Thanks again for reviewing!!!!! ~Mary Kate~

Reviewer: rileyowen
Date: 11/23/05 9:40
Chapter: Back To Hogwarts Again

Wow, i love this story. It's probably the best romance fic i've read in ages - 10/10!

Author's Response: thank you soooo much for reviewing! It makes my day when people like it, because you know how when it's your story you think, 'oh, it's not very good at all.'? and you think other people's story is really good, but yours is bad? well i have that. so thanks for r and r-ing, i'll check your story for new chapters soon!

Reviewer: harry_potter_star
Date: 11/18/05 2:39
Chapter: Not Falling

Hi, you reviewed my story, so I shall review yours. It's really good, I really like it! Update soon!

Author's Response: cool, thanks! havn't gotten many reviews lately... ANY, actually! (cuz I havn't updated my story, it got moved to one of the later pages.... lol. I was working on my new one shot, A thoroughfare of woe. It's harry/ginny and hermione/ron/last battle. under dark/angsty fics. can't wait till it gets admitted. i'm so proud of it, i hope it's not rejected!!!!!! anyway, thanks for your review!!!!!!!! i should update within the week (thanksgiving)!!!!

Reviewer: i love sirius black
Date: 10/30/05 12:39
Chapter: Not Falling

Love the story! it is wonderful! My favourite Character is Andromeda because she rocks...and she's being paired up with remus.. I dont know if id prefer lily and james to get together closer to the beginning or the end, if they get paired up closer to the beginning then they could possibly go through lots of fights and such... probably break up for a short period.. get back together.. you know.. or if you put it closer to the end you can build it up real nicely. I don't have a favourite quote... lots of humorous parts and lots of pretty and cute parts... I like all of the chapters and their titles because they are all so well written. :) hope that helped and thanks for reviewing my story!

Author's Response: thank you soo much! I'm so glad you answered my questions! thank you thank you thank you! and you are welcome for reviewing your story! ~MK~

Author's Response: what you said about remus... don't make any assumptions! i know i know they are perfect for eachother. well maybe you don't know but i do. and there's cassie and sirius. and obviously there will be lily and james. does anyone find that a bit odd, that each in the group is paired up with a marauder? well it seems off to me. anyhoo, the girls won't all be dating a maruader at the same time for a very long time if ever. chew on that one! anyway, thought i'd get some new stuff out there for people to consider!!!

Reviewer: i love sirius black
Date: 10/28/05 22:52
Chapter: Sectumsempra

WOW! you're only in grade 8? well.. im in grade 9 actually, but this is a great story! and the whole 'lily potter' thing doesnt matter... the mods didnt notice it right? anyway, dont be upset if any chapter gets rejected more than once.. chapter three and four in my story have been rejected more times than i can count!

Author's Response: ya, I did fix the lily potter thing... we all make silly mistakes when we are in the "author zone," right? I'm not glad your chapters got rejected, but I'm SO GLAD to hear I'm not the only one! Gracias!

Reviewer: i love sirius black
Date: 10/28/05 16:19
Chapter: Lily's Dicovery

Great chapter! loved every bit of it! tons of fun

Author's Response: thanks so much for reviewing again! ~luv, MK~

Reviewer: i love sirius black
Date: 10/28/05 15:57
Chapter: Back To Hogwarts Again

GREAT story! I love it how you made Andromeda Lily's friend! she's a kool kid for sure! but there was one mistake which you prolly can't change now... didn't sirius live with james and his parents? o well... great story anyway! :D horay!

Author's Response: thanks for reviewing! ya i know what you mean about sirius, so it's a little off from the real books. but sorry, having lily discover it was a bit crucial!!!! ;)) thanks again! keep reading and reviewing! I love it!

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