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Reviews For Last Chance

Name: JessC (Signed) · Date: 04/16/07 16:47 · For: Back To Hogwarts Again
adromeda isnt in the same year as sirius n every1 is like atleast 10 years older

Author's Response: all right.

Name: my name is naima (Signed) · Date: 02/14/07 11:14 · For: Not Falling
james and lily at the end

Author's Response: thanks for answering!! :D

Name: my name is naima (Signed) · Date: 02/14/07 11:13 · For: The Christmas Ball
hhahahah the gel and his im allergic to mornings

Author's Response: hehe! i have always thought of Sirius as a vain, but lovable, popular kid.

Name: lillys fairy (Signed) · Date: 01/29/07 14:22 · For: The Christmas Ball
please start writing on this story again it is really good

Author's Response: I'm glad you like it and I finally finally picked it back up again!

Name: kbell (Signed) · Date: 01/12/07 18:22 · For: Back To Hogwarts Again
i like the story okay, its pretty good writing

just wanted to let you know you spelled phoenix wrong in your penname

Author's Response: i have edited, so now, hopefully, it is a lot better. i know i spelled phoenix wrong.

Name: NeLLyRaE (Signed) · Date: 12/26/06 18:33 · For: The Christmas Ball
Really good story! The hair gel thing was funny. i hope the knee surgery went ok and please update quickly!

Author's Response: i finally updated. and am replying to your post almost a year after you wrote it! bad form on my part! sorry about the incredibly long delay. hope you like the rest of the story as it gets updated!!! :D

Name: ElyB (Signed) · Date: 12/10/06 18:46 · For: Not Falling
"No he doesn’t! He only ever asked me out to tease me! He never ceases to infuriate me!”
Whichever one is longest and updated quickest!

Author's Response: I'm glad you like Andy! Her personality is a cross between mine and one of my friends, which was completely unintentional! haha. we both have that blunt thing going on.

Name: ElyB (Signed) · Date: 12/10/06 17:36 · For: Lily's Dicovery
You're my first review ever! Don't you feel special? I was just writing 'cuz I LOVE the story cask of amontillado. I thought that that was similar, but I wasn't sure if it was the same story, or just a latin word or something... oh, love the story, just so you know, but (no offense) you're not J. K. Rowling. You're good, but... I'm sure you understand...

Author's Response: i do feel special! I love Cask too, pretty amazing bit of writing right there. of course i'm not JK Rowling, I'm glad I'm good though! thanks for reviewing, love hearing from you guys!

Name: HJPCATI (Signed) · Date: 09/06/06 21:24 · For: Lily's Dicovery
I'm sorry to have to review like this becasue i like the story but i am wondering why half of the people who write about James potter call him a chaser wher J.K.R. specifically says he is a seeker on more than one ocasion

Author's Response: thank you for saying this, i changed it and now he's a seeker.

Name: MarauderWannabe (Signed) · Date: 08/08/06 16:51 · For: The Christmas Ball
I love this! I love how Lily leads James on into thinking that she can't go with him!! I also like how McGonagall wanted James to ask her! UPDATE SOON!

Author's Response: typical matchmaker mcgonagall!

Name: MarauderWannabe (Signed) · Date: 08/08/06 16:50 · For: The Christmas Ball
I love this! I love how Lily leads James on into thinking that she can't go with him!! I also like how McGonagall wanted James to ask her! UPDATE SOON!

Author's Response: haha i hate when i double click. ahh, the craziness of mnff.

Name: catalina792 (Signed) · Date: 07/31/06 13:03 · For: The Christmas Ball
please update soon! i just read all of the chapters and now i'm waiting =[

p.s. - i think those ideas of your's are gonna do well. if they're anything like the story so far they'll be brilliant =]

Author's Response: updated! sorry for the wait!!

Name: catalina792 (Signed) · Date: 07/31/06 12:53 · For: Not Falling
1) Lily because you write her character well unlike some other people who just make her totally OOC.
2) sort of in the middle but more towards the beginnning of the middle.

I LOVE your story. i wanna

Author's Response: you may just get your wish...;)

Name: hopelives4ever (Signed) · Date: 05/16/06 9:47 · For: The Christmas Ball

Author's Response: i'm glad my story hits your heart in the right place! finally finally finally updates.

Name: HPdiva (Signed) · Date: 05/14/06 19:58 · For: The Christmas Ball
I love your story, please hurry up and up-date some more...please please please

Author's Response: i am really really really really sorry for how long it took me to update.

Name: harryandginny4ever (Signed) · Date: 02/04/06 7:59 · For: The Christmas Ball
Wow, sucks about the knee surgery.... Anyway, this chapter was well worth the wait. I give you ten gold glittery stars and I very rarely do that! Update sooner this time!

Author's Response: aww, thanks! how did you know i love gold glittery stars??!! lol. anyway, thanks for the kind words. i'll be sure to update soon! <33 mary kate

Name: songbook99 (Signed) · Date: 02/03/06 16:50 · For: The Christmas Ball

This chapter was a very entertaining chapter to read. Beginning this chapter with Remus waking up James and Sirius is great. I love the subtle details you throw into the scene, especially Sirius’ bright pink boxers. Adding the little detail about the whole “I’m Allergic to Mornings” phrase on the boxers was brilliant. I laughed throughout that whole scene all the way to their departure from the dorm with Sirius being slightly disheveled because he couldn’t find his hair gel. You have quite a knack for describing some pretty funny scenes that really make your story interesting.

However, I still noticed a few places that seemed a little odd to me. The first place is in a line by James when he is talking to Professor McGonagall. I don’t understand why you ended his dialogue in a question mark here: ‘ “Umm, well….. I haven’t…..err….asked her yet?” he said timidly.’ Seeing the question mark threw me off a little as I was reading that because I wasn’t sure if he was supposed to be asking McGonagall that last bit or if he is just making a statement and the question mark should be a comma. The second place was again in some of James’ dialogue where there seem to be some missing commas in this sentence: ‘ “Sir yes sir!” ‘ There should be a comma after the first ‘sir’ and after ‘yes.’ You have another missing comma here: ‘ “Hold up mate!” Remus called.’ The missing comma should be after the word ‘up’ as Remus is using ‘mate’ to address James. Lastly, although there is nothing grammatically wrong with this sentence - ‘In shock, James walked back to his friends in a state of shock.’ - it was a little awkward to read because of the repetition of the word ‘shock.’ The sentence would probably flow better and be easier to read if you adjusted either the beginning or the end of the sentence. What first popped into my head as an alternative would be something like: ‘Stunned, James walked back to his friends in a state of shock.’ However, you may have put the repetition there for a reason that I’m just not picking up on. Oh well, either way, aside from the few things I listed, your writing is really engaging and entertaining.

As for the rest of the story itself, you do a great job portraying the conversation between James and McGonagall. You add just the right bit of humor into the situation so that it is funny without having James appear disrespectful toward McGonagall. Then, during your scene where James asks Lily to go to the dance with him, I love the way you mimic JKR’s style by mashing the whole question into one word the first time he asks her – very reminiscent of Harry’s experience with Cho. Of course, I do feel a little pity for James because of the ambiguity of Lily’s answer. You do a great job with his reaction to her answer, though, and the reactions of his friends when he tells them she didn’t say no. I could really picture the shocked expression he must have worn when he got back to his friends. It will be interesting to see what Lily’s final answer is going to be and how long she waits to give it to him. Normally, I would think she would say yes since we all know she ends up with James, but I don’t know what you’ll have her do. I’m looking forward to reading the next chapter to find out what happens. Nicely written!

Author's Response: thanks for the review! i'm glad you appreciated the 'i'm allergic to morings" thing...my aunt has a pillow that says that on it and i always thought it would be funny on boxers... dont tell my aunt that though! haha. I'll definately change that shock thing...it was an accident haha. I'm glad you like my fic! I'll be sure to update soon!

Name: Lily Weasley (Signed) · Date: 02/02/06 0:49 · For: The Christmas Ball
this story is SO cute! i love it! i can't wait to see what ur going to do in future chapters... keep it up, and PLEASE update soon! (oh, and i hope that ur knee is healing quickly... surgery STINKS!) have a LOVELY day! :)

Author's Response: Thanks so much for reviewing!! I can't wait to put new chapters up too, but it might be a few weeks. But as soon as I can definately! Thanks for the encouragement for my knee. It's feeling a lot better and now I'm finally off the cruthes!! so yay for that! anyway, thanks for reviewing and i hope u have an awesome day 2!

Name: Lost Lily (Signed) · Date: 02/01/06 23:19 · For: The Christmas Ball
hey! wow what a good story!! i really like the not no not yes part. BUT i HATE that you left it at that!!!!:'( ok i also like that hair gel thing. i never thought of Sirius as a hair gel guy but after reading this i can see it...and i like it haha. just over all good. please update soon!!!

Author's Response: thanks for reading and reviewing! i'm glad you like it... i love it when people like my writing. someone told me i could be an author some day. (it was my MOM, but that's ok...lol!!) i was really spastic when i wrote the hair gel and boxers part (and mary had a little lamb, etc...) so thats why its a little more humor-ish than the other chapters... i don't really see the real Sirius as a hair gel guy either, but i have seen a lot of fanfics portraying him that way and i guess it has rubbed off on me! anyway thanks again and again for the kind words. peace! <33 mary kate

Name: heartachin4harry (Signed) · Date: 02/01/06 19:52 · For: The Christmas Ball
I love your story! AT first I couldn't find it, but I obviously did. Update soon!

Author's Response: glad you found it! i'l be sure to try to updat soon!

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