I really love this!
Inresting intro to the Hermione and Draco relationship. But I have to ask why is Hermione wearing a skirt?
Itresting that the info was in a box in under a floorboard...
oh, that explains it. never mind my last remark.
(by the way, this is GHost 1. Ghost 2 has along way 2 come 2 read this fic.)
cool story! 1 thing though. is malfoy working for volemort n only pretending? or is he really hiding from him?
Please hurry up with the next chapter.
I really like this story... are you going to give malfoys mother any more lines?
if uguys r like desperate for more like me, chack out harrypotterfanfiction.com, the first 18 chapters r posted there, and she recently updated yesterday!!! oh, it's the same title, and same penname!
hey. this is gonna be as shorter review that the previous two left... but that's ok. When I read the end of this chapter, i remembered that i was reading a hermione/draco fic and not a harry/ginny fic. lol. but thats alright... because that is also and important relationship. again, way to keep draco in character... and i think it is very DRACO to have a phyiscal attraction at first. very smart. i love how everything fits with the plot of book 6 and the others. GREAT job. I love it so far. please update asap!
Hey, this fic is really good. Infact I love it. It is one of my favourite favourites--u know what i mean--and I really like that this story hasn't just rushed into the Hermione/Draco relationship like so many others have. Also, I am glad that it isn't just about Hermione and Draco, it also has the whole Voldemort plot in it and its not just a distant idea that is shoved out of the way. Even more so, I am relieved that Draco is still in character (at least right now) and he hasn't all of a sudden become a sweet, caring, totally-on-the-good-side person. So many of these Draco/Hermione fics are like that and I can't even recognixe the characters!!! So yeah, I think thats enough ranting on my part. You can count on me to be checking for updates. Which by the way leads me to one other thing... UPDATE SOON PLEASE!!!!!!!!! lol
Dear Winterrose, I must say that your most recent chapter was very good. Draco was in character and acted rather clever. He knew what words to say (i.e.: When Harry discovers Draco "walking" out of the bathroom) and what precautions to take, "Of course, there was the possible complication of being too nice, which would immediately tip everyone off that he was up to something". Hmmm....Draco "admiring" Hermione's legs, personally, I found it disturbing (then again, we ARE talking about Draco Malfoy) and I hope their relationship (in the future) does not become one surrounding lust and physical passion, after all, shouldn't he be admiring her inner soul, compassion and profound intellect? As the reader, I was able to see a small glimpse of the "good" within Malfoy, "Potter was paying for his woman's safety, so he should get it." It was nice to know that even Malfoy understood the depth of pain and sacrifice. "She had felt his eyes more than she had seen them, [ (great line)] and she hadn't wanted him to know that he had the capability to affect her this way. She didn't want him to know, at least partially because she didn't understand it herself," how exactly is he affecting her? If a nemesis of mine was staring at me (at places other than in the eye), I would think he was a creep. Your wide range of vocabulary was not out of context and equally distributed throughout your piece (i.e.: "...and expediting the process of Potter, Weasley, and Granger ..."). Here, "That kind of fear had a way of eating people up. Actually, that kind of fear had already eaten Draco up to some degree. If it had not, he wouldn't be hidden in the Order's headquarters trying to 'be civil' to people he had always hated," you displayed such a significant concept of fear and pressure "eating" someone up. It was quite impressive that Hermione was able to understand the suffering Malfoy had to go and had gone through. Great work, your chapter showed both Draco's and Hermione's views along with different plots and themes.
Author's Response: Thanks for your review. And no, it isn't going to be a relationship based totally on lust. Draco just happens to be a male teenager, and will notice feminine features. Not many guys wear sunglasses only to keep the sun out of their eyes. Draco, as he is unaware of the potential uses of sunglasses, nods or gives a slight bow instead. At some point he has to stop noticing Hermione only as a Mudblood friend of Potter's, and realize that she is a girl. As for Hermione's reaction, she is use to being viewed only as an asexual bookworm and rather few boys have noticed her as anything else. She knows that she can be attractive when she puts forth the effort, but has no idea that she could be considered pretty in everyday life. She's uneasy about the fact that Draco might find her to be so, but hides it to a large degree--even from herself--by focusing on something different. She is trying to understand Draco in an effort to prevent the possible disaster she mentioned in the previous chapter, and considers this primarily her task because she knows that Ron and Harry are unlikely to make a serious attempt to do so.
Awesome chap!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Awesome story!!!!!!!! U rock...i luv the plot! This is a really interseting story and many people don't write this way. Can't wait for your next chap! Keep up the great Work!!!! Ur a great writer!
Author's Response: Why thank you very much. The next chapter will be out as soon as it's approved. :)
Dear Winterrose, Good job on your latest chapter! Although there were a few mistakes (spelling errors, misplaced words, etc.), they weren't worth commenting on because they were so minor. I could really see the whole scene of your chapter unravel before my eyes. Hmmmm..... Harry knew the plan (Snape's TRUE plan) yet no one really believed him. "Constant vigilance!"...hahaha. " 'What if, in spite of all of our efforts, Malfoy finds out information that stands a good chance of getting Voldemort to 'forgive' his failure if he gives it to him? If we are as nasty to him as he had been to us while we were still in school that would only push him to go back to Voldemort.' ", this passage reminded me of when Kreacher was a spy and, having been treated with cruelty, left the Black household. I thought that it was great that Hermione was willing to give Malfoy another chance (although, by now, readers know to think otherwise). I thought that it showed a lot about who Hermione really is and how she treats her fellow witch and wizard. I thought that you used irony and humor very well in this passage, " 'I wouldn't suggest it,' Hermione said with a small smile. 'He'd probably think that you were trying to poison him or something.' ". Great chapter and great ending!
Author's Response: Thanks for the review. :) And yes, the situation with Kreacher is still very fresh in Hermione's mind, and is at least part of the reason she is willing to be as nice as she can to Malfoy. And thank you for your comment on the ending; I do love irony. :)
Dear winterrose, Hmmmm.... I must say that your most recent chapter was, once again, extremely clever. As the reader, I started to question Draco's loyalty. I thought that the poison scheme was very well planned out (Snape actually wanting to get caught...very interesting). What to say? I thought that your story needed italics in a few places to add emphasis. When Ginny says " I will waiting for you", maybe you could italicize 'will'. Word choice was good. However, this passage, "Young Mr. Malfoy had returned to headquarters a few nights after his 'death' to once again report partial success. He was being sheltered by Order in their old headquarters," was a little confusing. For a second there, I had to ask myself 'which headquarters?'. Hmmm... that's about all I can say. Wait a minute, isn't the dark lord trying to KILL Malfoy? Is that why Draco is willing to spy for Voldemort, to be excused from potential punishment? I thought this line was very good: "This would serve his own aims, the aims of one Severus Snape, very well indeed", this line, however, made me crinkle my nose : "beneath a barrowed invisibility cloak. It seemed odd to him to him that all of...". I'm sorry for being so nit picky, although, I could tell that this chapter was polished up very nicely. Not too long, not too short. Hope to see more chapters posted up soon.
Author's Response: First of all, thanks for reviewing, not many people here do. Draco is spying on Voldemort's Orders (Chapter 1--"Draco was sure that the Dark Lord had intended to kill him as soon as he found out that Snape had been the one to kill Dumbledore, and had chosen to go forward with Snape's idea only because it was more practical than simply killing him on the spot. If he could make himself useful as a spy, everything would be forgiven.") Snape suggested that Draco be the new spy because the Order knew that Draco had a motive to hide from Voldemort, and Voldemort decided to go ahead with it.
Dear Winterrose, What a hypocrite I am! I proofread my review but I found a mistake. In my earlier review, I wrote: "Malfoy is one to love an intelligent, well-mannered lady since he himself has always been know to be one of witty comments." but it should have been "known" and not "know". Oops. Sorry!!
Author's Response: *falls off of her chair laughing*
Author's Response: *sobers up after hitting her head* Owww.... Oh well, it can happen to anyone I suppose.
Dear Winterrose, What can I say? Your story was in a word, clever. I also suspected that the intials R. B. on the note (inside the locket) belonged to Regulus Black after I read the 6th book. The setting description, as well as the scene where Draco is trying to make it appear as if he and his mother have died, are so specific, I was able to picture it all in my mind. I'll give you some constructed criticism. I think the small things matter alot. Please, PROOFREAD! Your story is good, it's great, but in order to make it even better, you can check for the little mistakes. In this passage, " "I never thought that I'd be staying her again," she said softly," you mispelled here and wrote "her". This sentence, "Harry suppressed a wince, thinking that that was much to close to what his godfather had once said. " , maybe you could write it as: Harry cringed inside, for his godfather had said something similar to it not long ago. It's just a suggestion. I'm waiting to see how Hermione and Draco will build a friendship. I beg of you, please, please don't pull off one of those sudden "Hermione had fallen madly in love with him" tactics where the reader doesn't know what the heck is going on. I hate stories where the two of them start making out a second after they've meet or they have an "all kissing no talking relationship" (SHALLOW!). Also, please don't write one of those "he was handsome, she was pretty" love stories (once again, SHALLOW!). "Seduction of the mind" that's true. Malfoy is one to love an intelligent, well-mannered lady since he himself has always been know to be one of witty comments. Well written story, although, this passage runs a little long: "He should have listened to his mother, he should have never accepted the mission, and probably not the Dark Mark that he now bore at least until he was older and had gotten the skills he would need to survive and succeed." This line was good though:"Fear and pain had been his constant companions ever since he had figured out that it was unlikely that he could accomplish the mission the Dark Lord had sent him on before his 6th year had started. " Great story! I hope to read more soon!
Author's Response: I'll make a not of the typo, and yes I do proofread. It's kind of difficult to proofread your own stuff sometimes. And no, this is not going to be one of those stories where they fall madly in love all of the sudden, or one where their relationship is built totally on physical appearance (I hate those too, btw).
Well, now... a book about Horcruxes... hidden in Regulus' room. I can't wait to see how you incorporate that into the story! I have to tell you, I am liking this tension I feel knowing that Draco is lying and spying, and I'm wondering how you are going to turn him to the good side? Hmmmm...unless... he's NOT going to turn good? Now THAT would be cool. Ah well, either way, good or bad, I'm liking your characterization of Draco so far, and enjoying the story. I can NOT wait for the next chapter! (If you are interested, I'm inviting you to check out my story "A New Definition of Family")
Author's Response: Thanks, my characterization of Draco is something that I know that I need to pay attention to. I don't really like stories where he is suddenly 'good' or in love with Hermione. In his case, only a seduction of the mind would look like a plausible way to lead to love that is real in any way.
I'm still hooked! I liked Hermione's summation of the 3 scenarios... well done. Very Hermione-like. Poor Harry, he has so much responsibility thrust on him! Once the war is over, he's gonna need some serious therapy! I think I'll write a story about that, but not till my other stories are done! Anyway, I am enjoying this story considerably!
Author's Response: Yes, Harry does have a lot of responsibilities right now. He knows that he has to make choices, and that others, as well as himself, will have to live (hopefully) with the consequences of those choices. It's called growing up, though Harry's experience with this is harder than what most people go through.
I happened on your story, and I'm especially enamoured with post HBP D/Hr fics right now, so yours fit the ticket! This is a really nice beginning... just enough intrigue to hook me and pull me in. Very nice. This is well written, too. I noticed only one spelling error ("site" should be "sight") and it isn't one that would show up on spell check, so it didn't faze me. (stupid spell check, it should know what we INTENDED to say, don't you think?) I'm hopping over to the next chappie now...
Author's Response: *fixes the 'typo'* Thanks, and keep reading. :)