Reviews For Unshed Tears
Reviewer: Lurid
Date: 10/09/05 4:01
Chapter: Cold

Hey, this is extremely touching! There's just afew mistakes, mostly canon.

Along with the fact that you're a muggle born, you'll be top of the list for He who must not be named." Muggle-born should be capitalized and have a hyphen, according to the books, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named and You-Know-Who - each word is capitalizes, and each word has a hyphen between it.

Dunmbledore said to Harry the only tow people that know of that prophecy made were himself and Harry. Even Prof. Trelawney doesn't know, and I'm guessing Remuys doesn't know either, to Dumbledore's knowledge, beacsue Sirius and Peter knew, and they susp[ected Remus of being the traitor. Flitwick wouldn't know, and the prophecy was made "shortly before you were born, Harry", meaning at least after their seventh-year. Lily and James didn't go out untilt eh seventh-year "Once your Dad had deflated his head a bit". But other than that, I like the Inferi part, and Lily hating herself, thats pretty abnormal, people always have Lils pictured as some wizarding version of Miss Universe, so super confident, so adept at seeing staright through Sirius' and James' charms... you get the picture. Seeing her so destroyed was really good. I liked the part at the start about her feet turning pale. Ots very symbolic, and you have a knack for imagery! Im just happy to help! ~Steph*

Author's Response: I'm glad you like my story, I'll take any help on bourd.

You must login (register) to review.
Information
Find out everything you need to know about the site right here.


We have stories and authors in this archive.

:

RSS
Choose Theme:
SOCIAL MEDIA
     
MOST RECENT
Tom Riddle and the Cave of Living Waters by alittletiefling 6th-7th Years
What would happen if Tom Marvolo Riddle had been adopted by well-meaning squibs?...
Molly Weasley's Apple Dumplings by Oregonian 1st-2nd Years
Molly has studied history and knows the old stories, but she also knows what...
Early, Early Spring: Professor Sinistra Reflects by Oregonian 1st-2nd Years
I didn't know much about Professor Sinistra, the Astronomy Professor, until...
FEATURED
It Takes Two to Tango by lucca4 3rd-5th Years
They cannot keep doing this; it is only a matter of whose resolve will break...
In The Heat Of The Morning by welshdevondragon 3rd-5th Years
Summary: In the heat of the morning, Katie and Leanne lie in the grounds...
Can't Fight the Moonlight by Acacia Carter 6th-7th Years
A life-changing disaster at work drives Neville Longbottom to seek aid from...
The History Teacher by iLuna17 6th-7th Years
Maybe he didn’t just love history, maybe he loved being a history teacher.
white on white by Padfoot11333 6th-7th Years
Three vignettes about scars, love, and sex.
CATEGORIES