Reviews For Unshed Tears
Reviewer: Lurid
Date: 10/09/05 4:01
Chapter: Cold

Hey, this is extremely touching! There's just afew mistakes, mostly canon.

Along with the fact that you're a muggle born, you'll be top of the list for He who must not be named." Muggle-born should be capitalized and have a hyphen, according to the books, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named and You-Know-Who - each word is capitalizes, and each word has a hyphen between it.

Dunmbledore said to Harry the only tow people that know of that prophecy made were himself and Harry. Even Prof. Trelawney doesn't know, and I'm guessing Remuys doesn't know either, to Dumbledore's knowledge, beacsue Sirius and Peter knew, and they susp[ected Remus of being the traitor. Flitwick wouldn't know, and the prophecy was made "shortly before you were born, Harry", meaning at least after their seventh-year. Lily and James didn't go out untilt eh seventh-year "Once your Dad had deflated his head a bit". But other than that, I like the Inferi part, and Lily hating herself, thats pretty abnormal, people always have Lils pictured as some wizarding version of Miss Universe, so super confident, so adept at seeing staright through Sirius' and James' charms... you get the picture. Seeing her so destroyed was really good. I liked the part at the start about her feet turning pale. Ots very symbolic, and you have a knack for imagery! Im just happy to help! ~Steph*

Author's Response: I'm glad you like my story, I'll take any help on bourd.

You must login (register) to review.
Information
Find out everything you need to know about the site right here.


We have stories and authors in this archive.

:

RSS
Choose Theme:
SOCIAL MEDIA
     
MOST RECENT
Cera Hipkiss is (Apparently) Annoying by Kceratops 6th-7th Years
As Cera Hipkiss begins her sixth year at Hogwarts, she is pretty used to feeling...
Harry Potter and the Sorting Hat's Choice by EmmaGM 1st-2nd Years
The smallest detail can influence thousands of lives. An other universe story...
Tom Riddle and the Cave of Living Waters by alittletiefling 6th-7th Years
What would happen if Tom Marvolo Riddle had been adopted by well-meaning squibs?...
FEATURED
Where Light and Shadow Meet by Ennalee 1st-2nd Years
All his life, Percy has built and gathered, painted and carved, and now everything...
Different in the Morning by Gmariam 3rd-5th Years
Seventh year is almost over, and after indulging in the kitchen a bit too much...
Rid of Me by littlebird 6th-7th Years
Hermione gets the cat, the flat, the food, and the furniture. Ron gets the family...
CATEGORIES