Reviews For Shades of Grey
Reviewer: MithrilQuill
Date: 10/11/05 19:23
Chapter: Shades of Grey

Ahhh, another Regulus fic. You did a good job with this fic, and I especially liked the thing with being afraid of the dark... One of the things I think you could have done better was the ending. I think the way you ended it with a general story teller to audience thing sounded way too moral of the story. Don't get me wrong, I think the best fics are those that have a moral or a 'point' rather than just action. I think though, that if you had not stated it outright, or at least had it in the begging rather than the end, it would have been much more effective. I also don't think the part with them finding him dead was neccesary, this is because to me, a wonderfull ending was already provided in the quote "Look at me now, I'm not afraid of the dark brother." I just loved that line and I think it would have made a very strong ending. We already know that Regulus was killed by Voldemort. One thing the epilogue part was good for is to show how he did not have any look of shock or fear on is face. So, I can envision him walking through the dark alley and then hearing Lucius or Bella's voice behind him, and turning around with no trace of fear. And he says or thinks or even the words echo in the night sky....."Look at me now....." Sorry for the overly long reply, it's just that I feel extremely guilty when I leave little one-liners that ell the author nothing about what people liked or didn't like. All in all it was an excellent fic....=)

Reviewer: MithrilQuill
Date: 10/11/05 19:23
Chapter: Shades of Grey

Ahhh, another Regulus fic. You did a good job with this fic, and I especially liked the thing with being afraid of the dark... One of the things I think you could have done better was the ending. I think the way you ended it with a general story teller to audience thing sounded way too moral of the story. Don't get me wrong, I think the best fics are those that have a moral or a 'point' rather than just action. I think though, that if you had not stated it outright, or at least had it in the begging rather than the end, it would have been much more effective. I also don't think the part with them finding him dead was neccesary, this is because to me, a wonderfull ending was already provided in the quote "Look at me now, I'm not afraid of the dark brother." I just loved that line and I think it would have made a very strong ending. We already know that Regulus was killed by Voldemort. One thing the epilogue part was good for is to show how he did not have any look of shock or fear on is face. So, I can envision him walking through the dark alley and then hearing Lucius or Bella's voice behind him, and turning around with no trace of fear. And he says or thinks or even the words echo in the night sky....."Look at me now....." Sorry for the overly long reply, it's just that I feel extremely guilty when I leave little one-liners that ell the author nothing about what people liked or didn't like. All in all it was an excellent fic....=)

You must login (register) to review.
Information
Find out everything you need to know about the site right here.


We have stories and authors in this archive.

:

RSS
Choose Theme:
SOCIAL MEDIA
     
MOST RECENT
Chocolate Frog by L A Moody 3rd-5th Years
Amid the desolation of Diagon Alley, a tiny ray of hope lay buried. Nothing...
I Suspect Nargles by foolondahill17 3rd-5th Years
“No one’s ever kissed me before…. What is one to do now?” An extensive...
The Life and Times of Linnea Potter by Cantatrix 1st-2nd Years
Linnea Potter has lived under the tyranny of her relatives for the better part...
FEATURED
Glass over the Flame by the opaleye 3rd-5th Years
Harry, Hermione, and the moments in between. He doesn’t say that this...
Tom Riddle and the Chamber of Secrets by CanisMajor 3rd-5th Years
What really happened the last time someone let the Basilisk out? Harry Potter...
Red Squirrel/Sun Rises by hestiajones 1st-2nd Years
+ He wouldn't celebrate his birthday, but his son had other ideas. + This was...
Sybill Trelawney and the Unexpected Gift by Squibstress 3rd-5th Years
Sybill Trelawney learns to live with her Inner Eye, cooking sherry, and Minerva...
Pat-a-Cake by foolondahill17 1st-2nd Years
Molly Weasley II, called Pat, and twenty-one lot and little-known facts. Or...
Wood by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor 6th-7th Years
Marcus Flint, the infamous Super Seventh Captain of the Slytherin Quidditch...
CATEGORIES