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Reviews For Shades of Grey

Name: MithrilQuill (Signed) · Date: 10/11/05 19:23 · For: Shades of Grey
Ahhh, another Regulus fic. You did a good job with this fic, and I especially liked the thing with being afraid of the dark... One of the things I think you could have done better was the ending. I think the way you ended it with a general story teller to audience thing sounded way too moral of the story. Don't get me wrong, I think the best fics are those that have a moral or a 'point' rather than just action. I think though, that if you had not stated it outright, or at least had it in the begging rather than the end, it would have been much more effective. I also don't think the part with them finding him dead was neccesary, this is because to me, a wonderfull ending was already provided in the quote "Look at me now, I'm not afraid of the dark brother." I just loved that line and I think it would have made a very strong ending. We already know that Regulus was killed by Voldemort. One thing the epilogue part was good for is to show how he did not have any look of shock or fear on is face. So, I can envision him walking through the dark alley and then hearing Lucius or Bella's voice behind him, and turning around with no trace of fear. And he says or thinks or even the words echo in the night sky....."Look at me now....." Sorry for the overly long reply, it's just that I feel extremely guilty when I leave little one-liners that ell the author nothing about what people liked or didn't like. All in all it was an excellent fic....=)


Name: MithrilQuill (Signed) · Date: 10/11/05 19:23 · For: Shades of Grey
Ahhh, another Regulus fic. You did a good job with this fic, and I especially liked the thing with being afraid of the dark... One of the things I think you could have done better was the ending. I think the way you ended it with a general story teller to audience thing sounded way too moral of the story. Don't get me wrong, I think the best fics are those that have a moral or a 'point' rather than just action. I think though, that if you had not stated it outright, or at least had it in the begging rather than the end, it would have been much more effective. I also don't think the part with them finding him dead was neccesary, this is because to me, a wonderfull ending was already provided in the quote "Look at me now, I'm not afraid of the dark brother." I just loved that line and I think it would have made a very strong ending. We already know that Regulus was killed by Voldemort. One thing the epilogue part was good for is to show how he did not have any look of shock or fear on is face. So, I can envision him walking through the dark alley and then hearing Lucius or Bella's voice behind him, and turning around with no trace of fear. And he says or thinks or even the words echo in the night sky....."Look at me now....." Sorry for the overly long reply, it's just that I feel extremely guilty when I leave little one-liners that ell the author nothing about what people liked or didn't like. All in all it was an excellent fic....=)


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