I like that story a lot! its kinda sad but it was nice!
oooooo very good and touching very nearly had a tear spill
very nice with the whole i am with you, when i read hpb the funeral made me cry beacause he had no-one (i know im stupid) and you showed that he does and you probably got it right with the whole why dumbledore got snape to kill him well written
8/10 but sadly not as good an ending as the others i have reviewed but still good
A powerful story of loss. I like how Harry, in all his guilt tries to blame Dumbledore for leaving him, and I'm sure this just makes him feel more guilty. You've really conveyed the real emotions of someone who has lost someone close to them. I'm not sure if the scene with the locket is really neccessary, though.
Also, when you say:
"His mother had left him.
His father had left him.
Cedric had died.
Sirius had left him.
Dumbledore had left him."
it sounds a bit odd to have Cedric be the only one who hasn't "left him" - but it would still be strange if you said "Cedric had left him."
My suggestion would be something like:
His parents had left him to life with the Dursley's
Cedric had left him alone in that graveyard.
Sirius had left with no one to take care of him.
Dumbledore had left him alone in a war with Voldemort.
Something sorta like that. Otherwise, great story, great emotions!
Author's Response: The scene with the locket was sneaky. It's very importantto what follows after, but that's okay - only a few people have picked up on it, sadly. Since this is only a one-shot, I won;t be writing about what follows after... so suffice it to say that the locket is a very useful little tool for Harry. Yeah, I know those lines are awkward - but I wanted the power of short, stacatto lines and couldn't really say Cedric "left him" - they were never close, were they? So even though it's awkward (and your suggestion is a very good one) I'm leavin' it alone... Glad you liked it. :) Cheers, ~*~LIZ
That was beautiful. Shame it's a one shot, be interesting to see how it carried on, with the necklace and the magic behind it.
Author's Response: Thanks.. I'll turn it into a full story, if I get the time and inspiration. But... I probably won't. :/ Glad you liked it, though!:) Cheers, ~*~LIZ
It's beautiful! I was teary-eyed when I read this ... maybe because Albus was - and still is - my favourite character.
Fabulous! This story was so sad; I actually got tears in my eyes (which is not an easy thing for a story to do.) You did a wonderful job in keeping everyone in character, without having the emotions seem too overboard. Again, great job!
Author's Response: :) Hehe.
this was so good but so sad dude make a second chapter plllllllllllleeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaasssssssssssssssssssseeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
