The summary of this story really intrigued me and prompted me to read on; I love the idea of comparing a person to shattered glass, like an extended metaphor. It seems like the perfect analogy that reflects how a person may be strong one moment but collapses unexpectedly and suddenly, and how really, characters such as Ginny (especially after these sort of events) are extremely fragile.
The continued references to the mug of hot chocolate I felt, was another interesting way to extend the idea of the glass. The way that you portrayed Ginny’s actions were excellent, and I could definitely feel her emotion build up, as slowly her hands shake so much that the mug falls and breaks…perhaps reflecting her fragile mood as well?
But it’s over now. It’s done. Even Harry said so. He had saved her when she was but an inch from death. Riddle’s finished. The diary is gone. Tom can’t control me anymore. These thoughts should have been consoling to Ginny, but they only made her feel worse.
I loved the way that you blended Ginny’s thoughts in here. It was really clear to follow, almost as if she had two contradicting voices in her head. I could really sense her ‘despair’ at the situation, as if nomatter how much she tried to convince herself that things are over and everything will be fine, she can’t help feeling guilty and still feels very scared.
The interaction between ‘memory’ sections and description of the present are extremely well done. Although you included a lot of ‘storytelling’ of past events, I felt that they were effectively used and beneficial to the story as in each part, you justified Ginny’s actions and put her way of thinking and her emotions into it. Feeling left out, scared, and lonely, she began to write to Tom again. This short sentence seemed to summarise exactly how Ginny must have felt, and the confusion as well, which would have prompted her to consult Tom again.
During the year, every time another person was petrified, it was like another crack formed inside her. When Riddle had emerged from the diary it was as though all the criss-crossing cracks burst open and shattered the person that once was Ginevra Molly Weasley.
This imagery is excellent. The first sentence shows how much guilt Ginny must have felt, and how slowly she was breaking down as she felt that all of this was something to do with her, and somehow her fault. I like the use of ‘petrified’ and then ‘cracks’, which I thought went together really well in conveying how somebody that is petrified, unnatural and ‘stiff’ may well be more vulnerable and ‘crack’. The latter part of that I loved, and the harsh tones of the words, and onomatopoeia worked well in the ‘shattered glass’ sort of image that you were trying to display. The crisscrossing cracks seem to show how each petrified person had an emotional effect on Ginny, and weakened her slightly, so that collectively, as a result of Tom’s interference, they shattered her and almost destroyed her entirely.
Just as the final victim of the basilisk sat up in their bed, Ginny drifted away into a dreamless sleep.
I felt that this last line worked really well in contrast to the images of the shattered glass, describing how Ginny can now finally be at ease and so start her ‘recovery’ process, as she no longer feels the guilt as much now that all the petrified are revived. It’s a peaceful sort of ending to a really quite intense story and I felt that as a whole this fic portrayed her character very well.
Well done! *hugs*
~Suzie…your secret santa! :p
Author's Response: Wow, you really analyzed it. Thanks for the review... and the banner and avvies. I almost forgot that I had this story. I hadn't even read it over in quite a while. Thank you for the wonderful review. I'm glad you liked the story and that you thought I was able to keep Ginny in character. ~SarahRose
This story is very good. Ginny is in character and the plot is excellent. Ties well in with the second book.
Author's Response: Thanks. I actually had my copy of Chamber of Secrets sitting next to me the entire time I was writing so that I could keep all the details of what had happened perfectly in canon. ~Undividable
It's a very well written fic, personally, I'm very fond of Ginny fics and I liked the way you showed her emotions. PS- It would be nice if this one had a sequel, writing Ginny's PoV of Harry's adventures.
Author's Response: Ginny's PoV for Harry's adventures... Wow that would be really long! lol Especially with all her emotional feelings towards Harry... Thank you for the review! ~Undividable
I like how you described the emotions Ginny went through. Are you going to write a prequel to All a Father Could Teach?
Author's Response: I already have written it, It's just been a challange finding time to type it with all my homework. I didn't even get a chance to get this one BETA'ed! I had to do so myself, even though I asked my sister to read over it for me, but of coarse she wouldn't... I'll be sure to send you the first chapter of the prequel once I have finished typing most of it... ~Undividable