I'm quite enjoying this fic, especially the way Snape opens up to Draco, a rare thing for him to do. And I really appreciate the alternative 'death of the Potters' scene, it could have happened that way too, Snape could've been the one to tell Lily to run. I notice it's a while since the fic was updated and so doubt whether it will ever be completed, but up until this point it might stand alone, Snape was cursed by Voldemort for trying to warn the Potters and this chapter gives him the ability to cure himself of the transformations. Great fic, thanks.
I come back to this story every night to see the next chapter, so get on with it before I die of old age! (61 next birthday and a grandfather)
Ooh! I'm intrigued! If I remember my mythology, Arachne was a spider, right? So what's the Curse of Arachne? I'll probably figure it out as soon as I read the next chapter!
You've got some great imagery!
At the mouth of the cave, a chill breeze pierced Snape like a dagger in his back, and sent an involuntary shiver through his body.
Great simile. I can imagine the bitterly cold breeze penetrating his skin ...
And what an interesting twist, having Draco become a werewolf! I've never read that one before! I can't wait to read more ...
An excellent story ravensgryff. I especially likeds the part where Severus goes to the dark lord's home only to find it empty. I came across this story while doing the scavenger hunt and i was frankly amazed. It was wonderful. I especially like your descriptions. You certainly do that very well. Also emotions are very well potrayed throught the characters dialogues. There is one thing though. Your story is rather.....sleepy. I can't exactly describe it but your reader does not feel many strong emotions while reading it , this is just my opinion though. Overall i must say... Good Job!
This has been a very interesting story to read so far. I am really enjoying the back story you have developed for Severus which explains the way he is at the present and why he is doing what he is doing. You have come up with some very original ideas about what his motivations were and what has happened to him in the past. The part of the story that focuses on his childhood and time at Hogwarts had a very powerful message about the way people should treat others. I found it very interesting that the few times in his life that other people have tried to be friendly toward him he has pushed them away. Of course, the part that has intrigued me the most is the part that lends its name to the title of the story. You have done a really good job of incorporating the mythological legend into your story and weaving the characters actions around it.
However, as much as I am enjoying the story, I almost feel like it is spending too much time in the past. I mean, it almost feels like the story doesn't really need the bits about Snape and Draco being on the run but should be a story on its own that just leads up to Snape's present circumstances. But, since you have formatted your whole story so that there is a little bit of the present that leads into Snape's reminisces, all I can really say, is that I hope to see more about what is going on with Draco and Snape in the present. That may be coming up soon as it feels to me that the backstory seems to be coming to an end now that Snape has found the Aspergillum of Athena that will allow him to reverse the effects of the curse Voldemort placed on him. I was also a little thrown by the idea of Talair being half-genie - what an original choice. She adds quite a bit to the story with all of the tension between her and Snape.
Overall, I'm completely fascinated by your story and am enjoying your development of Severus. He has really come alive through your words and the life you have created for him. There is one thing I do want to caution you about, though, and that is your punctuation. You seem to really like using commas in your sentences, but you have a tendency to add them where they don't seem to belong. For instance, there should not be a comma in the sentence: She had fainted, but was still breathing. The comma here just breaks the sentence up and makes it choppy. There were a few other places throughout this chapter, as well as the previous ones, that also had that same problem. Aside from that, though, I am enjoying your story and looking forward to reading your future chapters to find out exactly what happened to Snape after he retrieved the Aspergillum as well as what is happening to him in the present.
Ohh!!! So the artifact from Athena is actually a Horcrux, isn't it? Clever way to incorporate Snape with the Horcruxes! I'm really intrigued with this story, especially with the curse that you displayed on Snape. And I really like how you show what Snape did to prove his allegiance to Dumbledore. The Wizard's Vow all those years ago was what I had wondered about myself! Great Job~MALD
Excellent story ! It seems to me that all good fan fictions have Snape as a main character. It might just show that good writers spontaneously choose the most interesting personality to develop. Longing for what follows...
Great chapter! Lots of action, and Talier is much more developed in this chapter. Can't wait for more!
Nice work. The part with Talier was a bit stiff, but other than that it was good.
Great job. I think Snape might've lost control a little too much, but other than that, it was really well written. Keep it up!
Again, I love the insight to Snape's character! It almost makes me feel sorry for him! Almost. Can't wait to read the next one!
Great! Can't wait for more!
Great chapter, like your spin on how things may have happened to get to where we are with Jo's line of thinking. Cant wait to see where this is going.
Captivating. Your style of writing and attention to detail are to be commended.
Oh wow. I read the first chapter ages ago (like before the second was up) and I just read the whole thing. Wow. I love it! The Unbreakable Vow Snape made with Dumbledore makes perfect sense. Good luck with the contest!
*obsessively checks for an update* ;) This is a great fic. Great theories in there. Do you actually think this is what could have happened , or are you just having fun with it? Just curious... I just think it's plausible.
Wow. That was really great. Really sad, but really great. Poor Snape...:(
Another excellent submission. You've given some great insight into Snape's character. I loved the interraction between him and Lily and it would have been interesting to see what would have happened if they had become friends. Good job!!!!!
Excellent start. I also love the way you're developing Snape. His human side, which almost never comes out is very palpable here. Good job on Draco, too! Looking forward to more.
Highly intruiging, I can't wait until you "reveal" Snape's past for us. I found the swing scene very sad, but totally convincing. I love the beginning of the picture that is Snape which you've started to paint. You're delving into the most complicated character of the series, and doing a wonderful job. Oh, and the plot is great, too. ;)