I liked it.Good summary of the events in the last book.Draco was condamned from the day he was born...yet,somehow,we see hope for him,since he did not become a murderer not even to save his life or his mother's.For I think he values his family's(mainly his mother's life)more than his own life.
Author's Response: Yea, I believed that Draco isn't really a bad person ... looking forward to the 7th book to see if he does manage to redeem himself...
Yet another wonderufl story. Splendid, splendid. Stella has a question, though it's probably quite nosy. If you don't mind Stella asking, how old are you?
Author's Response: I'm currently 19 going 20 sometime this year, but I'm quite immature for my age. *snicker*
Firstly, I absolutely love the format for this. You chose the perfect places for the dialogue to end and the poems being. It made this sort of mysterious voice commentate in the back of my head. I think my one of favorite sections was the one between Draco and Greyback; it was the most convincing. “Leave her alone, you animal!” / “The Dark Lord has agreed to give her to me if you fail.” / “You lie!” / “Do I?” That was the perfect place to stop. I really liked how you portray Draco here—calm at first but then he comes out angry and scared. It’s great characterization.
“Sometimes the choices we make are inevitable, it matters not. We just have to deal with whatever miserable fate that is thrown our way.” It may just be me, but the way that was worded seemed a little out of character for Myrtle; I actually thought it was Snape at first. The rest of that section made prefect sense, it was only that one sentence. I also want to compliment you for this section. I hadn’t thought much of Draco and Myrtle talking…it makes me feel sorry for both of them. “At times like this I envy you. You don’t have to worry about things like this anymore ...” That’s so sad!
Nit-pick: "Draco, draco you are not a killer." Caps on the second Draco – small nit-pick. ;)
I think my absolute favorite was the section between Snape and Draco. It was…touching.
Overall, I really really enjoyed this. Draco’s character was brilliantly done – great job!
Author's Response: Thanks Rita I'll go correct that typo.
You're right about Myrtle. I'll go see if I can correct that one.
Really great, and the story really does a wonderful job getting into the mind and thoughts of Draco. Until HBP, he had always seemed like a slightly shallow character, but after that book, his characterization developed a lot, and we (the readers) were able to see just how conflicted he is. You did a wonderful job in portraying that aspect. Good job!
Also, I absolutely love your writing style in this --- having the whole thing done with dialogue. It's a very unique way to write something, but it's also so easy to cause the story to get confusing (knowing what character is currently speaking, for instance). However, your story did not cross that line, and for that, I applaud you :) .
I also really enjoyed the pieces of the poem that were interspersed (sp?) throughout the one-shot. I think it added and improved to the story, and was a wonderful way to show Draco's inner feelings and thoughts. Great job!
Normally, I'm commenting on typos or problems of a story that I found at this part of a review, but nothing jumps into my mind with your's. It truly was an excellent piece of writing, and definitely deserves a score of ten.
Author's Response: Thanks Megan. I just thought this sort of style gives more in pace ... anyway given that this was written for the 'shattered glass' challenge - I thought that a poem would express it better.
Thanks for the review and glad to see that I didn't scare too many people away by writing in this poetry-dialogue style. :)
^_^ hehe. Well, this is unusual, I have to say I havent seen something like this before, so hopefully it will kick up your chance at winning! The flow thing.... not sure. Im not that good at that stuff, and tenses... well you know the story. ^_^ lol good stuff mate, hope this goes well!
Author's Response: Thanks Lurid. Just find it easier to use metaphors in a poem. ^_^ The results are out ^_^ WinkeeJr won for this particular challenge. I had fun writing this though ^_^
Wow. This was pretty good. I love it when you intersperse dialogue and poetry. But . . . in one instance, you used "gapping" instead what I think you meant as "gaping." Other than that, quite interessant et excellent. *D*
Author's Response: *L* That's what I get for submitting an un-betaed chapter. ^_^ Corrected that. Thanks. Actually this isn't so original. I've used this style before for my other one-shot fic. ^_^ (I actually like the other better) The flow is slightly choppy on this one ... but didn't have the time to fix it before the deadline ^_^ ... *sigh* I'm such a crammer. *lol*
Author's Response: fixed the flow a bit ^_^ I think it works a bit better now. ^_^