That's a good story. I like the part at the beginning, when the sorting hat Neville should be put in Griffyndor.
Author's Response: That's one of my favorite scenes, too. Thanks for reviewing!
Well reasoned and expressed. Blends nicely with canon. Thank you!
Author's Response: Thank you!
Absolutly wonderful. Amazing. I loved it. It was great. I love what you did with Neville's character. I've always liked Neville and your story does him justice. Bravo.
Author's Response: Thank you for reading and reviewing. For a long time, Neville was my favorite character, so I'm glad to hear that you think I captured his character well. Thanks again!
I bow before superior writing, I have no words to express how great this collection is. Each moment is short, simply done, but expresses Neville in a balanced way. You don’t overly dwell on his self loathing but rather he has a realistic view of his abilities and little hope for much else.
In Here to Stay my favorite moment was when you described Neville’s grandmother’s use for magic. She used practical magic, and so all of the wonders of Hogwarts overwhelmed him. This will now be canon for me, there is honestly no other way I can see Neville’s grandmother, she must be a very practical woman, a no nonsense sort of woman. Of course this was probably the first night his grandmother had allowed him to stay out of her house, and the first thing the boy would do is compare how things would be different, and rather frightening. I enjoyed his alternating fear and delight about the staircases, and it made me think that even though Harry also came from a rather dominating household, that Neville would be a bit more frightened of the castle then the boy-who-lived.
Neville’s Head of House made me stop and think of a moment that hadn’t occurred to me. I had thought about how brave Neville was to try and stop his friends, I’m ashamed to say that this was only when Dumbledore mentioned it. But how he must of felt being stunned like that, and the fact that it was in a very real way a betrayal. He saw them as the closest thing to friends and they left him behind, excluding him in a very painful way. The shame that was inherent to being frozen also hadn’t occurred to me. How long had he laid there waiting for the effect to wear off or for someone to safe him. McGonnagal here truly shined, you didn’t have her become Molly, but she was motherly and showed affection for the poor boy.
I have never gotten chocked up while reading fanfiction, and have rarely if ever gotten chocked up reading period. But Neville’s pain hit me hard. This was something I was felt was ignored in the books about Neville, yes it is sad that Harry lost his parents, but he doesn’t have a painful constant reminder of what he is missing. More then anything that loss of recognition, that his parents didn’t know who he was, it is amazing that he had been able to carry on. The tone of this story was perfect.
Butterflies Kissing was the only one I didn’t warm up to completely. My little complaint with it was the dialogue at the end between the two, it seemed a bit too on the nose for my taste. If there had simply been a kiss with no words I think I would have enjoyed it better.
And lastly Neville’s Last Stand, this was a triumphant hopeful snapshot even though it was full of pain and torment. Voldemort embodied all the people who looked down on Neville who didn’t believe that his boy could amount to anything. And there Neville showing the true Gryffindor he is held on to Voldemort waiting for Harry to arrive.
I must say you’ve endeared Neville to me, I’m now a Neville fan thanks to your lovely snapshots. I hope you continue with this work as it is truly amazing.
Author's Response: Wow, Ksenia, thank you so much for the detailed review! I'm sorry I've waited so long to reply; I really value your words here. I'm particularly touched by your response to "Neville's Pain." I do feel for Harry, but--as you say--at least his parents don't linger in some mutilated state as Neville's do.
Concerning your complaint about "Butterflies Kissing," I can't say I blame you. That little snapshot is sappy anyway, but I hate to change it. I can see a teenage boy making that kind of pronouncement. I think many people don't really understand the value of silence. Hmmm...that sounds like I'm blaming the character for a flaw in the fic! lol! Anyway, thanks again.
Wonders why this only has 1 review ...
Although Harry lived a sad life, I always did felt that Neville is the more tragic figure and all the more heroic for it. You showed it perfectly with this series of snippets. I think I've come across a couple or three of these drabbles from 3 broomsticks ^_^, you've connected them all perfectly.
I especially love the 3rd piece with McGonagall in it; the pain he felt on Hermione's unexpected betrayal and the comfort that (the otherwise stern) Minerva McGonagall offered. I find that the unexpected gesture to be extremely touching as well as fitting.
The plight of his parent is one of the main reason why I find him a more tragic figure than Harry. Having his parents in that certain state is a more painful and constant remainder of what he cannot have. Worse for Neville is the fact that he did not enjoy the supportive friends that Harry has. Thus its fitting that he'll appreciate those small gestures more (like those given by his professors - especially Sprout).
Your depiction of his grandmother is different from how most others see her. But I believe yours is more realistic. I believe that the woman (although stern) only wants her grandson to excel. She'd appreciate bravery on his part. She would seem the stiff upper lip sort of woman, one who doesn't show affection, but that doesn't mean that it isn't there. Also she seems to push him so much because she wants him to be string and in this scene you showed ... Neville found his strength and was determined to do his part. The sort of thing Frank and Alice Longbottom did ... a sacrifice that Mrs Longbottom prided them for...
Although I do wish there would be itsy-bitsy parts on the events of OOTP and HBP's for I believe there are defining moments for Neville in those books as well. (e.g. being part of Dumbledore's army; the Ministry; the attack of the Death Eaters...)
All throughout you've consistently shown Neville bravery and nobility in each snippets and much more his humility. Excellent Neville fic.
Author's Response: Thanks so much for taking the time to review, nutty. I'm sorry it's taken me so long to respond, especially when you've been so kind! I did indeed post several of these over in the Three Broomsticks, which is why I'm missing some key scenes; Seren's prompts really inspired me while they lasted, but.... Well, now that the mods are starting to post more drabble prompts, maybe the bunnies will return. Thanks again for your kind comments!
Well, I finally made my over here. I was hoping to read this soon, and, what do you know- I got to! Anyway, enough of that. Moving along to your fic... Neville. Not my favorite character for several reasons, but you have done such a tremendous job of characterizing him that I have to feel sorry for him in his times of need, and proud when he stood up for what he had believed in. That's really hard to do, and I congratulate you. It was absolutely amazing. I would also like to say that his Gran was one of the characters that really seemed to stand out here. Just some examples on how you characterized Neville and his Gran really well:
"This cloud of euphoria stayed with him throughout his first meal at Hogwarts, and he was delighted by all he saw. Despite having grown up surrounded by a family of pure bloods, he’d never seen many of the wonders that the castle offered—ghosts, an enchanted ceiling, a feast from thin air…. While there were several eccentrics in his family, his gran was a practical witch, not much given to fancy displays of power. She used magic for everyday chores, of course, but it was a straightforward, sensible sort of magic. Her grandson, therefore, didn’t quite know what to think of all the marvels he witnessed that first night." -- My oh my, I could go on forever with this alone. You bring in aspects of Neville and his Gran in one simple paragraph; and one of the most powerful ones as well. I like the fact that you made a statement of him being surrounded by Pure Bloods in his family; and then you go on to say how Neville's Gran uses practical magic. This really shows how he is in awe of what's around him, and the absurdity of his awe. That really showed something about how Neville's life at home is.
I must have some concrit, unfortunately. When you use "The first time Neville ever mounted a broom was, well, a fiasco.", it sounds a bit odd. I would suggest rearranging this sentence so there isn't a ",well," in it. The only other thing I spotted was when McGonagall said '“Was it Harry? Answer me, Neville. Have he and his friends snuck out again?”'. That just struck me as not being like McGonagall at all. I'm sure McGonagall would have been after pranksters... and not the trio.
Now for some more gooshy-loveness. I found it very interesting that you had used the emphasis of Neville being almost a Squib; I don't know exactly what it is about it, but it just seems to do the fic justice. Other such lines that really showed me how powerful a writer you can be were: "Only in Professor Sprout had Neville found an ally." (I loved this; it is my favorite line), "Neville felt a rush of gratitude toward the woman standing before him, the woman he thought of as his mentor. And though it wasn’t Christmas in September by a long shot, the thought of those lovely, sunny flowers cheered him all the same." (I think this also shows Neville's personality, and really has an impact on the reader), and the last line "As he clung for dear life to the monster before him, Neville was filled with triumph. Harry Potter had finally arrived." (This shows Neville's loyalty in Harry and proves to be another fabulous line).
Just a little side note on how much I love your characterization of Gran: "His grandmother flinched at the hated name, but when she spoke her voice was firm. “I’ve been waiting sixteen years to hear you say that.”"
Now, before I wind the review to a halt, I would like to comment on the Luna/Neville snapshot you have. I am not particularly fond of this couple, as I prefer Ron/Luna, but you wrote it so well that I must have it as one of my favorite shippy-ness moments. It has been a pleasure reading your work. Excellent.
Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing. And you've given me my first review for poor Neville here on MN! I appreciate all the nice things you've said, especially concerning the characterization of Neville's Gran and my Neville/Luna drabble. As for the former, I find that she is so often maligned as cruel and unfeeling. I think she's just an extremely self-contained individual. It's not that she's unfeeling, but rather that she doesn't wear her heart on her sleave and she expects Neville not to either...that "stiff upper lip" English persona is what I'm thinking of, I suppose. [argh! how does one insert a paragraph break into reviews?] As far as the little romance, not to sound conceited, but I think that's one of my favorite shippy-ness moments too. Neville just strikes me as so sweet--and, after book 5, so brave--that I could imagine him doing something so tender and spontaneous. And Luna...well, I just like her more and more. Thanks also for your concrit. I might just take that "well" out sometime, but it's hard to do as it sounds so right when I say it in my own head. Maybe elipses before and after instead of commas would work.... I have to stick with the McGonagall interlude, though, since I think that she'd definitely be worrying about the trio since they had just come to her to share their suspicions concerning the stone and she had to tell them DD had left the building. Anyway, it was my way of getting her to Neville and of exploring his feelings of friendship, loyalty, and betrayal just a little bit more. Still, I completely understand what you're saying. Anyway, thanks so much for reviewing!