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Harry Potter stories written by fans!

Name: nonsequitur91 (Signed) · Date: 11/17/05 18:24 · For: Thank you
Dear ravenclawslion17, I was excited to read your new chapter. I felt that it was good for Hermione to have told Harry and Ginny before they found out on their own and got angry. I liked the metaphor you used here, " 'I’m sure they’ll let you go,' Hermione replied, somewhat absentmindedly. She had found one sock, and was now looking for its mate. Eventually she found it and gathered up the rest of her clothes", it sort of explained her relationship with Malfoy. I thought that Malfoy's "thank you" was so kind. He didn't just ignore her act of sympathy from the night before. Your piece "flowed" very nicely. Hermione's character was described very well, "The house elves may insist on making my bed, she thought..." This passage really brought about my curiosity, "She whooped in delight as she read the letter the owl had brought her. She had been hiding for far too long, and now she knew that in only a few months time, she could reveal herself". I enjoyed reading all of your extremely detailed images, "Draco flushed slightly, the pink contrasting with his pale skin..." However, if you add too much information or detail to a certain object or person (in future writing pieces), it may become repetitive. This was a great transition, building up to his "thank you", "Hermione half-smiled, and began to walk away, but turned back around when she heard him speak." Great job. Another wonderfully written chapter!

Author's Response: Wow, when I was writing it I never thought of the sock thing as a metaphor...it was just a description of what was happening! By Malfoy saying "thank you," I was just trying to show that he didn't take what she did for granted, and that he is indeed changing. I'm glad Hermione seemed IC. I'm also glad that you like my desriptive images, and I always try to keep it somewhat limited so it doesn't seem like too much ^_^. As for your curiosity about the end...well, you're going to have to wait a bit for that! Hee hee...I feel so evil for leaving that cliffhanger....Thanks so much for another wonderfully detailed review! I really appreciate it!

Name: Morphin (Signed) · Date: 11/16/05 14:25 · For: An Angel
Wow..I mean, you just portrayed the character's emortions very well.. '"YOU ARE NOTHING – BUT – A – COWARD!”' I like it how it turned out to be the exact opposite..The song was a brilliant touch, too. Please keep up with this! Stories this good are actually pretty rare..And it's your first time writing, too? You're a talented writer.. 9/10!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for your incredibly kind review! I am keeping up with this, don't you worry! The plot is stuck in my head and I'd die if I never got it out! This *technically* isn't y first time writing a fan fiction, but it's my first Harry Potter one and the first one I ever posted. I tried my hand at writing Newsies fanfic about a year and a half ago, but I kind gave up after a while. Anyway, thanks so much!

Name: Therinian (Signed) · Date: 11/10/05 18:45 · For: An Angel
That was a beautiful song; who is the original singer? Again, another a nice chapter. Reading the whole experience (thus far) through Draco and Hermione's POV is a nice touch; keep that up! I don't have any other things to say; most things have already been pointed out by nonsequitur91! ;) Have you thought about asking her to be your beta? That seems like a very good idea! I hope you didn't mind all the oddball comments; I was just writing whatever came to mind. Truly, I like this story and I'm looking forward to your next chapter! 8/10

Author's Response: Celine Dion, featuring R. Kelly...I love it too. I'm going to try my absolute hardest to keep it in their POVs. No, I didn't think about asking her to be my beta! But I just might to do that ;-)

Name: Therinian (Signed) · Date: 11/10/05 18:31 · For: Confrontations
I was surprised that Draco told Hermione everything so suddenly--but I'm sure you had a reason for doing so, right? :) But it was a good chapter! Ron's anger was well written; he was completely in character! Good! 8/10

Author's Response: I'm glad that you thought Ron was IC! I just tried to right what sounded like him. And the reason for Draco telling Hermione so quickly - he had bottled up his thoughts, and once he started talking he couldn't stop. Even though they were more enemies than friends, he just needed to get it out. Does that make sense?

Name: Therinian (Signed) · Date: 11/10/05 18:24 · For: The Quidditch Match and the Aftermath
Just have a couple of comments; try not to laugh!! ...Even though Lee Jordan wasn't commentating, I still heard his voice! ...When Harry commented on Hermione being moody, I actually expected a wisecrack from Ron about "that time of month"! ...Eww! Lime green goo! Had Madame Pomfrey received a visit from Slimer? ...Another great (and funny) chapter! 9/10

Author's Response: lol, thanks! I really don't intend to be funny...it just happens that way!

Name: Therinian (Signed) · Date: 11/10/05 18:11 · For: Changes & Dreams
Draco's shifting priorities after such a loss (and ultimately his betrayal) is a very good beginning; now he might be able to see what's REALLY important! Hermione sleeping in late seems a bit funny, as does the idea of her singing in the shower (what would she sing, anyway?--lol) and her rush to get down to the Quidditch Pitch! ...and I agree with the previous reviewer: Proofreading aloud works great! Your family members may think you're bonkers, but it really does help! A great beginning--I'm giving this a 9/10!!

Author's Response: Thanks so much for the honest review! I really appreciate it. I guess Hermione is a little OOC in the beginning, huh? The point of her sleeping in, I think, was that she keeps having that dream, and likes it. And by the way - I have no idea what she would sing!

Name: Ginny and Hermione clone (Signed) · Date: 11/08/05 18:30 · For: An Angel
I absolutely and completely loved it. It was awesome. I think it was a great new chapter. Can you make the next chapter longer? I really enjoy reading your story. 10!!!!!!!!!

Author's Response: I haven't gotten the opportunity to write Chapter 5 yet, so it may be a while before I update. I will try my hardest to make the next chapter longer - in fact, that was on my mental "to-do" list. I am so happy that you enjoy my writing, and that I have a faithful reader! Thank you so much, you have no idea how much it means to me.

Name: nonsequitur91 (Signed) · Date: 11/08/05 15:48 · For: An Angel
Dear ravenclawslion17, This chapter was fantastic! I thought that the song was a little long. What if you cut out some lines (unnecessary lines tend to be too repetitive) ? In this chapter, Hermione finds herself pitying Draco. Pity, however, may not be the right word. Pity would imply that she feels sorry for him in a somewhat condescending manner. How about compassion? Compassion is "knowing someone's suffering and understanding his/her pain". I thought this passage, "To think that he was hurting from Hermione Granger leaving him astounded him. But he realized that in his time of desperate need for someone else, he had no one. Only one person alive knew about the true nightmare in his memory, and she was walking away, hurting him more then she would ever know.", was extremely...I couldn't find the words ,it was really sad and it helped me understand a bit more of his sorrow. It was also extremely well written. The conclusion of chapter 4 was so good. You show the reader how Draco and Hermione were both affected by the under-the-willow-tree experience. I also like how as the reader, I could see both perspectives (Draco and Hermione). I thought it was a great ending to a day because the day (in chapter one) started off with both Hermione and Draco waking up and it (in chapter 4) ends with them going back to where they started, changed for the better. I hope that in the future chapters, you show a blossoming friendship between Hermione and Draco that is NOT surrounded by lust (love from lust is a bit shallow) but a genuine friendship that might later become romantic (maybe after they're married--> just kidding, but still...patience is a good thing). The whole Enemies-->Lover transition doesn't build a foundation for a long lasting relationship. Of course, that's just one readers opinions. The chapter was great, it shed a new light on Malfoy which readers rarely saw in the original Harry Potter text. Great work! I hope you update soon.

Author's Response: Again, thank you for your wonderful support! While compassion is a great word also, I felt that pity was much better. Hermione doesn't truly "understand his pain" because she hasn't had to go through what he has. Does that make sense? Also, I am so happy that you were touched by the "Hermione hurting him more than she would ever know" passage, because that is exactly what I wanted you to feel. While their relationship may move faster than a real-life one would (I'm only planning on 12 chapters...this is my first fic), it won't be as rushed as some portrayals of their relationship can be. Thank you again, so much, for taking the time to write such a kind, helpful, and all-around great review that made me smile. I hope to hear more from you in future chapters!

Name: nonsequitur91 (Signed) · Date: 11/08/05 15:19 · For: Changes & Dreams
Dear ravenclawslion17, Your story was great. I really enjoyed it. I think the Draco/ Hermione pairing was really sweet, especially since it wasn't as gross as some stories tend to get. I really hate stories where they're enemies one minute and the next day they're making out. Life doesn't work that way. I'll give you some constructive criticism because I take writing really seriously. Some sentences were awkward (i.e.: "So here he lay, staring, during the early November morning."--> what if you changed it to: The November sun brought up with it no new hopes as he lay on his bed, staring at the nothingness that was now his life. Please do not be discouraged by my review. Your story had a really great base. However, certain things like past/present agreement have to be taken into consideration. Here you have, "If he had been the old Draco he would have been thinking of his prized possessions, his family, or even new ways to insult the Golden Trio.", but in the same paragraph you have, "The reason for that though, is that he had nothing to think about.". "had" and "is". Please, don't mix up and jump around past/ present tense, it'll make your story "flow" much better. Proofread! Read aloud. It helps if you can hear what's written down on the page. All in all, I thought your story was the best Draco/Hermione romance story I read so far. The storyline and song was extremely sweet. Please, I beg of you, keep the story in the (G/PG)-(PG-13) range. I hate dirty stories that give me nightmares, frankly, I stop reading them. Your descriptions and settings paint a picture in the readers mind. Great work!!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for your kind review! I appreciate it so much. I will definitely take for thoughts into consideration. Jumping from past to present tense with small words like "had" and "is" has always been an issue of mine. I'll try to remember that, but what can I say, I'm a young writer and I mess up sometimes *laughs* Also, I don't intend on this story getting "dirty". Frankly, I feel that I am too young to write something like that. Thanks again! I have also replied to your second review.

Name: Star of Slytherin (Signed) · Date: 10/27/05 21:25 · For: Changes & Dreams
i abosolutly love this story. its great. i love the unexpected things that happen, like in this last chapter. i give it a ten.

Name: Star of Slytherin (Signed) · Date: 10/27/05 21:25 · For: Changes & Dreams
i abosolutly love this story. its great. i love the unexpected things that happen, like in this last chapter. i give it a ten.

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm glad to see that you're enjoying it! ^_^

Name: ewfan415 (Signed) · Date: 10/27/05 14:33 · For: Confrontations
ooooo good, i like it

Author's Response: Thank you ^_^

Name: Liana (Signed) · Date: 10/20/05 15:53 · For: The Quidditch Match and the Aftermath
Hi really cool story. That remark about prejudices was very cool :) Hope you update soon

Author's Response: Oh, thanks! I'm glad you liked it ^-^...Chapter 3 is in!

Name: VivaLaNicky (Signed) · Date: 10/18/05 16:10 · For: Changes & Dreams
I agree. Your story is off to an excellent start. I didnt find it boring in the least. I made sure to add it to my favorites! Can't wait for your next chapters!

Author's Response: Thanks so much for the kind review! I'm so happy to hear that you added it to your favorites :) Chapter Three is in queue!

Name: slytherinfox (Signed) · Date: 10/17/05 14:53 · For: The Quidditch Match and the Aftermath
this is such an awesome story! please update soon = D

Author's Response: I will :-D Thanks for reviewing!

Name: Ginny and Hermione clone (Signed) · Date: 10/17/05 9:55 · For: The Quidditch Match and the Aftermath
What happens next? When will they meet? When will they "start to see each other in a different light"? I'm dying to read the next chapter. It's way cool!!!

Author's Response: Thanks so much! It's so cool to be getting positive reveiws for my first fic :) I've been on vacation the past 5 days, so I haven't gotten the opportunity to write Chapter 3 yet, but it will come soon, I promise!

Name: MrSkYz (Signed) · Date: 10/06/05 23:26 · For: Changes & Dreams
This is pretty much the best story ever created... Seriously Katie how do you think of this stuff? It's realllllyyy good and fun to read (so much for a boring prologue). Very awesome. Can't wait for the next chapter.

Author's Response: eek I didn't think that you could reveiw! That's so kewl man...Anyway, thanks for all of your encouragement. If not for that this story wouldn't be here!

Name: Zakiel (Signed) · Date: 10/05/05 4:31 · For: Changes & Dreams
I really couldn´t understand why noone posted a review to this... It is really good and I think you should go on... I liked it... so please go on and if its just for me, who wants to see what comes next...^-^

Author's Response: Aww thanks! I really appreciate it. Chapter Two is in the works...should be coming soon! It might be a bit slow like the first one, but trust me, once the "initial moment" happens it'll be worth it!

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