This was so cute! It was crazy and confusing to Harry but it still helped him in the end. This is so random that it could be true, it makes me giggle just to think of prof.'s Dumbledore and McGonnigal doing the jitterbug! I love Dumbledore's line about Harry's voices it is way funny. I really do like your stories there seems to be a uniqueness there, and it's your amazing voice. Thanks for the story! ;D
I loved that the dream sequence was used to help Harry make his decisions concerning Hermione and Ron! Very spot on with everyone, especially Dumbledore! Favorite line:
“Fascinating, Harry, I never knew that the logical side of your brain voiced itself using the guise of Miss Granger. Does this mean that the more uncoordinated part of your brain resembles itself as Ronald?”
There were a few places that is seemed like semi-colons and commas got mixed up; for example:
"He lived for ten years not knowing who or what he was; until one night when a lifetime of information was revealed to him." - the semi-colon should be a comma
"Harry Potter is a wizard and just like his mother and father before him, he belongs at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry." - this should be a semi-colon, as the two are separate distinct clauses
"That was the reason he hadn’t told his friends, how can you tell the people you love that you have to become a murderer or murdered?" --should be a semi-colon or em dash, as the second part is a full sentence and not a phrase
There were a few others, but I wasn't sure how old this piece was...just thought I'd point it out! Very nit-picky anyways.
that was such an interesting and cool fic! i really liked it!
That was... surreal. I love having really hilariously weird dreams and then just as you wake up you remember them for a few minutes and then they slip away just like Dumbledore said. I think my favourite mental image from this fic is Professor McGonagall.
Great short-story, the dream reminds me of the one Harry has in his fifth year just before Christmas, about Cho and the chocolate frog cards, and the baubles shaped like Dobbie's head.
I really liked that! I like the resemblance between this and "King's Cross". I also enjoy how you worked the fact that Harry' conscience talks in Hermione's voice into the story. Thumbs up!
Wow! The third absolutely brilliant story that I've read of yours!!!!! You're such a great writer!!! Anyways sorry for reviewing so much, but I just had to cuz these are all so great! It's so clever how half of Harry's brain is Ron and the other is Hermione and stuff! :D
Author's Response: Hi Chloe! I'm touched that you are going through my stories and I'm very grateful for all of your reviews! They really make me want to write more for you guys! Thank you for another fantastic review. ~ Roxy x
This is an excellent missing moment - well-woven in between the two canon scenes. I liked it a lot. :) It makes sense that Harry would not be too ready and willing to let Ron and Hermione into the story, especially considering what he 'did to Ginny' in the end of HBP...
It was clever the way you had specific people help Harry figure his dilemma out - as Cheshlin pointed out. I particularly love that part! The dream was interesting - the way we all dream a confusing mixture of things that happened to us that day. I adore the way you made his subconscious think of dancing with Ginny. (Big H/G shipper! :D).
On the whole, this was a very refreshing one-shot because it wasn't too angsty and wasn't too fluffy. I enjoyed reading the beginning, particularly. Good job, Roxy!
Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm glad you thought there was a good balance with not too much angst or fluff. I'm a huge H/G shipper too (obviously :D). I'm a firm believer in making the audience relate to what you write and dream sequences are obvious ways of doing this as everyone dreams whether they know it or not and in dreams you can do things that you wouldn't do in real life. I'm sure everyone has dreamed about dancing with someone they really like at least once in their life. I'm glad you liked my story, thanks for the review. ~ Roxy
A lovely little story. I loved the dream sequence halfway through and Dumbledore was well in character. I don't think you needed so much background information at the start, but it still set the scene nicely. Good work!
Author's Response: You're probably right, the beginning was a bit long. I wrote this very soon after the book came out and I really wanted everyone to understand it even if they had only just read that chapter. Does that make sense? Thanks for the review! ~ Roxy
That was a very cute story. I like how his Conscious was Dumbledore, his logic sounded like Hermione, and his "uncordinated" self was Ron. I also like how you worked Ginny in that early in the story. Very good!
Author's Response: Harry and Ginny, whoooo! I love adding little foreshadowing things that people can either pick up on or realise right at the end. It makes life more interesting. Thanks for another review! xx
hey coool. i luvd da part bout hary's brain thinking in ron's and hermione's voice. please write fics. longer ones obviously. i give you a 100
Author's Response: Aww! Thanks! 100? I loved that part too! I do write fics! Longer ones! I have two, Love Wins... End Of. and Something Weasley This Way Comes. Why not go and check them out?
i LOVED it! You've got great style, and i was really disappointed when i found out it was a one-shot. But that's alright, as long as you keep writing! Maybe you should do another fic on here (with more than one chap) about all the things that happened in the HBP that JKR didnt tell us about! You get a 10!!!!!!!!!!
Author's Response: GLAD YOU LOVED IT! lol, thanks, I might make it a longer story but i'll post it in a different section (probably romance as I'm gonna build on the pairings, obviously) Thanks for the 10!
Nice. I liked it. I especially enjoy the thought that half of Harry's brain is Hermione and the other half is Ron. Makes sense, methinks. I think it's a good idea of what may have happened behind the scenes. Good job!
Author's Response: Thank you. I sometimes find I have voices in my head telling me what to write, usually they sound like my friends, Lol, I sound crazy now don't I. Oh Well. I'm glad you liked my story! I'd posted this one on a different fan site and hadn't had many reviews (and the few I had hadn't been too great) so I'm grateful for a positive review! Thanks!