Nice job. I love you descriptions and the unique idea itself. I think you meant that Lily pined over the things they didn't know....that makes sense to me. Anyways good luck with the contest....=)
Author's Response: Thank you so much for your review and your help!~Eponine
Nice Imagery! ^_^ It's unusual to read a story that's not written in past tense ... using present tense does gives the story a more 'currently happening' sort of feel. It's a very unique idea on what happens on the afterlife. "Tears of a Shadow" does seem fitting title to describe those smoky things as well as the sadness experienced by the souls there (e.g. Lily) who knows not the happenings in the physical realm.
Just a few typo correction: ”Stop!(") ; ”Sirius… (") ; her heals clicking (heels) ; Lily has just pained over what we cannot know (this got me confused ... maybe "was pained over the things we cannot know'?)
Good luck for this entry. ^_^
Author's Response: Thank you so much for all of your help! Hopefully I have edited all of the typos. I don't know what's been wrong with my computer, but it keeps skipping quotation marks.. go figure. Thanks again so much!~Eponine
