Ok, so there reference in this chapter to HBP makes sense now because of the last one. So no harm done.
Things are moving along quickly—yay! No point in sitting around with no plot, right? Though I have to admit, it struck me a bit when Hermione and Ginny were refereed to as though we’ve seen them in the story already. I suppose I would recommend the use or surnames, like in the last chapter when you used Molly Weasley’s whole name.
Tonks’ wand lit up. Harry – most of them – blinked at the sudden flare. *giggles* The way this was phrased, I thought it meant that there were several Harry’s blinking. Just a little nitpick is all.
“Oooh, he looks just like I thought he would.” Tonks, realizing she had spoken aloud, added quickly, “Wotcher, Harry!” I like how you give an insight to what Tonks says—as in from her point of view. Also, I was really hoping that you would give an explanation to the whole “Wotcher” thing. Not a huge one, mind you; just something subtle and creative.
I have to give you credit for not using phrases and exact passages found in Order of the Phoenix. It’s hard to avoid, especially since I’m sure you have a copy of it lying in front of you as you write. It’s one of my pet peeves: people who write the books in a different point of view, and then use the same phrasing that JKR does. So thank you for that!
Tonks seems really concerned and caring towards Harry in this chapter. I just find it a little strange that Tonks would assume so much so quickly when she’s only just met him. Perhaps Sirius and Remus have told her a lot about him, but as the reader, we really can’t know for sure.
I love the little bits between Remus and Tonks, I really do. They made me smile. I still really want to read the next chapter, and I’m a little sad that there’s only one more…but that’s still another chapter to review. :) Good job!
End note: No S.P.E.W. review for this chapter? I’m appalled!
Author's Response: I see what you mean about Hermione and Ginny; I think, at this point, Tonks knows them well enough that she could be comfortable with them. * The "several Harrys" -- I'll take a look at that :) * Honestly, I'm American, so I've no idea about "wotcher!" I'm told it's a very localized London slang, but I can't clarify it at all. Not my continent! * I really had to work to get the OotP quotes out. I got a lot shorter when I cut them all out, I must say. * In regards to Harry, I think Tonks has a lot of natural compassion, plus I sort of see Sirius talking about him more or less nonstop. I did make a couple references to various people talking about him. * Thank you for all your lovely comments! I really appreciate them.
I absolutely adore Remus/Tonks, I really do. It’s just so—cute! And it’s one of the few romances I will actually read. And this was really well written, so it made it even more enjoyable. :)
In the very beginning of the story—the part in italics—I was confused. I get it now, but the section from HBP made me think that perhaps the story took place then. I don’t think you should remove, or course; it’s a very nice passage. I just thought I ought to point that out.
I really have to thank you on how you portrayed Sirius. He’s probably my favorite character, and he is so wrongly written sometimes! But you got him spot on….thank you! The nick name he gave Tonks…Nymmie. I really loved it. And he’s not like a little kid. That’s what always gets me about him.
“Either you dyed your hair, or your mum was right about you being a Metamorphmagus.” I love the subtle ways you bring up things from the past. Instead of just describing it, you bring it up in interesting ways.
I’m really glad that you don’t spend time describing things that we already know happened. Like going into detail describing all the Order members. After the meeting, Tonks found herself munching Molly Weasley’s excellent apple cobbler while various Order members introduced themselves. Using Molly’s full name is enough to prove that she’s a new character to Tonks.
Overall, wonderful job. I’m going to read more, because I enjoyed it so much. :)
Author's Response: Thank you for your thoughtful review. I really enjoy them. Thanks also for the many comments and compliments!
Well I don't think I have ever read such an informative chapter on werewolves. I love detailing chapters where you get to know the characters and a game of chess was the perfect way to launch into such a chapter. I loved all the description you added behind their dialogue too. Commenting on Remus' pain and disgust and Tonks' reaction to it all. Also the hair was a brilliant way to lighten the mood and a very clever idea too :) Congrats on another wonderful chapter.
Author's Response: Thanks. I really had to work at making that dialogue right. I think it's pretty good now, though the way I edit, I'll come back later and rewrite it again!
The new version is so much better than the old one. I loved it. It's a great story. Can't wait for the update ;)
Author's Response: Thanks. I posted it before the queue closed for Christmas, thinking I'd go back and change one or two minor things. I was dismayed to realize that what I really wanted to do was rewrite the whole thing! So, here it is, glad you liked it, and I'm working on the next one!
Not a bad story. There are a few bits that seem familiar with other stories, but it's not bad otherwise. There are a few errors in terms of spelling or grammar, but otherwise not bad at all. The Christmas Tree Hair was classic. Hehe.
Author's Response: There's always overlap in missing-moments stories, but I do try not to repeat other authors. I'm glad you like it!
I like this story very much. Especially the lovely details. For example Sirius being there when the Advanced Guard took Harry away. That was a really ingenuine idea.
Author's Response: Thanks! I thought Sirius would really balk at not being able to help Harry, so I added him :)
I LOVE this story! It is so well detailed- update soon, please!
Author's Response: Thank you lots!
SIMPLY AMAZING!!! You write the personalities really well and you have fantastic ideas.( the X-mas tree hair, for example). Happy Christmas! (I know it's late)
Author's Response: Thanks lots! And Happy Christmas to you (even later)!
Amazing...I love this story. It is just great. Update soon because you are in my favs. Kudos.
Author's Response: Thank you!
Author's Response: Thank you!
Wow. That was really good. I've been meaning to ask you, how old are you? Just curious. Update again as soon as the Mod Holiday is over!!!! —Jade
Author's Response: Thank you! Seventeen. I'll try! I must admit that at this point, I don't quite know what the next chapter is, but I'll try to get it up fairly quickly.
Very good chappie!
Author's Response: Thanks!
I´m a big fan of RL/NT and you story is the best of all stories about remus and tonks in the muglenet fan ficton. About the chepter: it was a very good chapter ( I know I alwais sai that, but I can´t find someting rong in it, I just love your work!). "Boas Festas!!!" like we say in portuguese, this means someting like Happy Celebrations! ;)
Author's Response: Why thank you! Your thoughts are much appreciated.
A nice take on the guarding of Harry in the eyes of Tonks and Remus. Their reaction to Harrys situation 'the lack of pictures' etc was a nice addition to the scene. I loved that you made it Remus' fault that Tonks made such a loud noise and the line ...“No ultra-secret vital mission is complete until I fall flat on my – ”.. was hilarious to follow up with :) fantabulous chapter ...nice to see an update :D *10*
Author's Response: Thank you! I do like that little scene with the plate.
Sorry I didn't review earlier. Very good! Of course, I think Chapter 3 will be better!
Author's Response: :D Of course!
yeeeeeeeah! It´s here! The new chapeter its here, and its very good! I loved it you know? I´m anxiosly waiting for more ;) Good Luck!
Author's Response: Glad you like it!
Brillaint, better than the first. 10/10
Author's Response: Thanks lots!
This chapter was even better than the first one. I enjoyed it very much. I like the name of it :) Tonks paused and screwed up her face, turning her hair long, black, and greasy. “You sure?” Lol:)) Anyway, I can't wait for the next chapter.
Author's Response: Thank you!
Excellent chapter. It was well worth the wait!
Author's Response: Thank you! Thank you! Thank you all! I'll be here all week! Actually, leave reviews anytime and I'll enjoy them. Next chapter's already started and going strong!
Excellent...like Lilypudding said, Moody was absolutely brilliant, you have his personality down perfect. Can't wait for chapter 2!
Author's Response: Thanks muchly!