You do a very good job at creating atmosphere, Winky. Yet again I was struck by your first paragraph and the clear image that it portrayed.
I liked this line For some reason he was also glad Ron wasn’t with them. At this thought Harry felt a kind of foreboding and glanced away in case Hermione could read what he was thinking. It was very subtle, yet also perceptive hint about Harry's feelings.
I am rarely convinced when I see authors put Harry and Hermione together as I never see anything in canon that suggests they fancy each other. (I know many do!) But you did a really good job with this and it seemd very believable.
Very good chapter. Poor old Ron, eh? Well done.
Author's Response: I agree with you in that I have never picked up anything in canon leading them to be together. I actually felt quite awful for doing such a thing to beloved Ron..but all the same I was inspired to write this short fic. Thankyou for reviewing I do love hearing what you think. :)
WooHoo! First review! And may i be the first to say that it is a very nice chapter? I dont agree with a H/Hr pairing, but, it works o.k. for this story. It kinda started out a bit confusing, but it makes sense now. Good work, and update soon!
Author's Response: ...I dont support H/Hr either I support R/Hr so I was all for the first chapter of this fic :) But I don't mind reading about other pairings... The point of this fic is to create mayhem in the trio ..even though I love them to bits. Thanks for the review
update upate plz. it's funny. 10. but make up more r i will b mad.
Author's Response: I only plan to write one more chapter... but I havent fully decided on that yet. Thankyou for the review!
This is so good! Please update soon! I love it! It is now on my favs!
Author's Response: Thanks! The next chapter is in queue :)
wow! really good-nicely worded & written! please update soon-i cant wait!
Author's Response: Thanks for the review :P
Wow!! that was really good!!! the way you wrote it i could actually see it happening in my head. a mixture of sweet/funny/romantic/sad nice!!!! PLEASE UPDATE SOON
Author's Response: Whoa.. I didnt know I could write all that at once :).. Thank you for your review..the update for this story should be along soon :D
good characterization esp. w/ ron, i cant wait for the next chapter because you left us on a cliff! :)
Author's Response: Thankyou very much for your review!
Author's Response: Thankyou very much for your review!
Awesome, just awesome. I loved the way you described Ron toying with his emotions, it was brilliant. Hurry and update soon, I can't wait to see what Hermione's reaction is to all this.
Author's Response: Thanks! You may have to wait a little bit longer to find out Hermione's reactions...some more confusion has to happen yet.
Wow. Yaay! Aww... lol sorry, I have alot of emotions going through my head after that story. ^_^ It was AWESOME! When will the next chappie be out?
Author's Response: Hopefully soon.. Thankyou so much for reading :)
when will you update?!?!?!??!?!?!?!
Author's Response: When I have finished writing the next chapter
Hi! That was cool, I too sincerely hope Hermione enjoyed it. I would have if I were her. But I think she should have called him back. Not that it would have been much use. Anyway, good writing! Great language! With fanfic it's kind of hard to keep the characters like they are in the book, but you did it well. Keep going you'll be great.
Author's Response: Thanks :) I'm sure hermione enjoyed it ...she was just too shocked to say or do anything :) I mean wouldn't you be..after all this is Ron we are talking about! hehe
i really like the chapter and i hope you keep writing. Wow, Harriet Evans that was one heck of a reveiw!
Author's Response: Thanks alot I will :)
i beleive Harriet Evans has said it all!! this chapter was very well written i must say, pleaz continue!!!
Author's Response: Thanks for agreeing with Miss Harriet I too believe she said it all :) Thanks for leaving a comment anyway though its wonderful! :)
I really enjoyed this first chapter. What struck me first of all, was how well you set the scene and conveyed the atmosphere. Your descriptions of the weather and Ron’s flying were very effective; I got a real sense of his mood. I loved this line ‘Standing in the doorway, broomstick in hand, he glared towards the hoops at the opposite end of the Quidditch pitch’. I could just see him there, scowling away. I also liked the fact that you didn’t use his name until Ginny arrived. This increased the sense of atmosphere - very nice. Similarly you just hint at the way he feels about Hermione and I think this works very well.
The encounter with Ginny was well done, as was your description of Ron shutting his mind to events at the Ministry. A believable reaction from Ron, I would say. My only comment would be that I thought Ginny went a little too quickly from grinning wildly at Ron’s hair to descending into tears. Perhaps you could extend their dialogue, just a little bit, or have Ginny slightly less cheerful at the start. Maybe she could be a bit hesitant and make a sarcastic comment about his hair, rather than the grin? The part when Ron patted her feebly on the back made me smile, it was so reminiscent of PoA!
I loved the way you used the trick step and thought it was very sweet that Hermione had come looking for him. You used the weather to set atmosphere to great effect once again – the light flickering on their faces was a lovely image, and I really could picture them clearly in my mind. The lead up to the kiss was also very well described, and also I like the way that you have stuck rigidly to Ron’s perspective. It makes this story so much more effective.
Well, I hope that you have gleaned from all this waffle that I enjoyed this chapter. You have made a great start and I look forward to reading the next instalment!
Author's Response: That is the best review I have ever seen...ever. Thank you so much! I am glad you liked the setting of the atmosphere it was something I thought hard about before submitting. I have taken your suggestion about Ginny into account and I think its a fair judgement I may go over that part of the chapter later when I get time. As for the 'pat on the back' that was one of my last submission changes as before that Ron was 'too comfortable' in the situation...but I feel the new way is much better. Thanks again!! Honestly you win the best review award!! Gold Medal for you :)
Good start! Keep going, PLEASE! Oh, and I just wanted to say, I loved how you wrote from Ron's POV. A lot of writers don't and I'm glad you did. I enjoyed this one, keep writing and update soon! =)
Author's Response: I found it is kind of hard to write in Ron's POV, I had to resubmit this fic a few times to sort him out hehe.. but I try my best! I love Ron he's my favourite :)
I really enjoyed the beginning, but you've left me hanging! Please update as soon as you are able.
Author's Response: I will get to it quick smart...well hopefully, year twelve is hard too keep up with :S But I can't say no to reviewers :D
I really liked how you put the story in Ron's perspective. Keep writing, I'm adding this to my favourites
Author's Response: I like the kind of style where the reader can see events in different perspectives this chapter just happened to be in Rons :) Thankyou!
That was brilliant! You are so great at writing! Definetly consider a career in that direction. There was so much description but not too much, and the Hermione/Ron scene was amazing! Update soon!
Author's Response: I could get used to your reviews.. thanks so much!! Believe it or not though im heading into a kind of science career direction..I just write because I love Harry Potter!
That was a great start. Keep writing, I'm looking forward to reading the rest!
Author's Response: Thankyou!! I plan to keep writing..honest!
Oh, I hope Hermione enjoyed it. At least, I did and I'm HermioneG, so... let's say she enjoyed it. :P Well, I hope next chapter will be up soon!
Author's Response: Glad you liked it! Wait till you see what happens next... you'll be dumbfounded! and by you I mean HermioneG.