This fic gave me the creeps, and not least because this is no less than I have come to expect of Lucius malfoy. Personally i can't stand him, but he is a great villain.
A really good 'character study' of Lucius! Nice to see he's still as evil...grr. A really interesting read!
Author's Response: Thanks. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Nice!!!! This is the only fic from lucious Malfoy's POV that I've ever seen. You did a pretty good job with it. I especially liked the thing with Narcissa's handwriting. It's those little details that make it just that much more interesting. I did expect Lucius to be alot less caring in general, and i found it a bit tedious how he kept thinking about Draco, but that wasn't really OOC, just not the way i'd think of it. Anyways great fic....=)
Author's Response: Thank you. I'm glad you liked it. :D
Wow, that was great. Very different from most of the stuff you read. I really liked how self-involved you made Lucius...the way he believes Voldemort will win because of him....it's so perfectly selfish. Also, I liked the relationship between Lucius and Narcissa.....they way she probably puts on one face for the outside world but inwardly resents Lucius for getting caught and putting Draco in danger. Really great! Anyhow, great job. Keep writing!
Author's Response: Thank you. I'm glad you liked it. I was quite happy with this as well. Thank you for leaving me such a wonderful review.
It was a very different than what i had imagined...fairly good...but i have to agree it did get a bit repetitive. good job tho! keep up the writing :-)
Author's Response: Thank you for the review.
This is certainly different to how I imagined this challenge would be tackled. Writing for Lucius's POV is very difficult because he's a character shrouded with mystery, someone who we know we will never really know. I'm not sure if he would be as self-piteous as you have portrayed him, although it does show a weaker side. I'm also a little confused as to why he thinks the success of the war would be due to himself, considering he's been locked in Azkaban. I beleive he would be angry at not getting the chance to participate.
I liked the part when you described Bella's deterreation of beauty and youth and he thought "I hope it doesn’t strip me of mine." It's very ironic, as Lucius is already an aging man, it also shows his vanity very well.
You could have spent a longer time describing the cell, describing his prisoner robes and the way the guards behaved. You touched on these things, but I beleive you could have made more of it.
Your story began to get a little tedious in the middle, especially expressing his worry for Draco. I beleive that Lucius would be determined to send his son to Voldemort, and beleive that it's his duty to do everything the Dark Lord says. Therefore, he wouldn't be worried about him being put in a life-threatening situation. However, your way of describing Narcissa's handwriting, and how Lucius deduced from that her feeling of worry towards Draco, was very clever. You showed an accurate way of thinking, that this cunning man would display.
You next need to work on expressing yourself, try and use sharper expressions and make sentences less wordy. Read your story back outloud and think, is this the best way to express what I am trying to say?
It's a nice piece, good luck in the contest!
Author's Response: Thank you so much for your review. It is nice to see someone put down so much energy in giving advice.
I agree with you that writing Lucius is difficult, and even more difficult is trying to figure out how he would handle a situation like this one. My idea for him to think the success for the war would be his, is connected to two things. Part one is that he is slightly delusional from his stay in Azkaban, but most of it is because of the plan he has worked out, his revenge. When the plan is carried through he will have been the one to bring Harry to the Dark Lord, hence the one to help him win the war.
I agree with you that Lucius would see it as Draco's duty to serve Voldemort, but I also see him as a man that cares deeply for his son and that doesn't want him in situations he can't handle. I've tried to portray that conflict in him here, although I don't know if I succeeded completely.
On the one hand - yes Draco is supposed to support the dark side and work for Voldemort. On the other hand, he isn't of age yet, Narcissa is worried, and the Dark Lord is angry. What if he has given Draco a mission that he cannot handle to punish Lucius? Then his son would fail as well, probably die and it would all be for nothing. I don't know if I'm making myself clear, but I hope you understand my thinking.
Again, I want to thank you for taking the time to review, and thank you for your good luck wish.
Okay. Nice story. Somewhat creepy but well writen. I like it. ~HermyRox12~
Author's Response: I'm glad you do. Thank you.
It's really nice, but why does Malfoy want Harry dead when he didn't do a thing? dunno guess i'll find out soon. UPDATE!!! 10 10 10...
Author's Response: Sorry, this is a one-shot so there wont be any updates. And as for Lucius reasons, you'll have to put yourself in his twisted mind. He can either accept that he failed, which he will never do, or he can blame Potter for not handing over the prophecy as planned and actually fighting back. If Harry had died, then he wouldn't be in prison, right?
...oh, my. That was weird. Well written, yes, absoloutly, but... creepy. I want o give you a 9.5, but I'll just go with a 10.
Author's Response: Lucius is a creepy guy, Azkaban is a creepy place. I'm glad you liked it.
Your Lucius creeps me out so much! He's the horrible child who never grew past pulling the appendages off of insects and delighting in their misery. I also like how you hint at his relationship to Narcissa and how he knows her so well that he recognizes the fear in her handwriting. Despite this, he is still the cold man I see in the books, one able to accept the risks his son faces with only the smallest glimmer of regret (so long as it gets the family back in V.'s good graces...). An thoughtful character analysis!
Author's Response: Thank you so very much! You could not give me better praise than that. I'm very glad you liked it.